[ShaynaLynne011]

Well the boy finally dumped me and it hurts worse than I ever have. I feel stupid and used. I trusted the boy enough to take my virginity and look where it got me. Im completely humiliated, furious, upset, and Idk how else to put it. I am heartbroken completely. I don't know how to deal with this kind of pain. I have never hurt like this before. I want to be back with him. I would give anything to still be with him. He says its for the best but it doesn't feel like it. Plus last night I caught him in sooo many lies. I don't want to lose him for good. He wants to be best friends but what he don't understand is if I am around him and we aren't together its going to hurt. I can't keep putting myself through the pain over and over again. He says he's sorry and that he regrets ever having sex with me. I feel horrible and don't know how to get over him

[450donn]

You don't mention how long you were dating? Sounds like a typical man to me. He got what he wanted and then decided it was time to move on.
Remember,
Friends first,
Then marriage,
Then sex.

I'll bet he pressures you into the sex right? So you have made a big mistake, learn and move on. Oh and if you did not use protection, please get yourself tested for STD's.

[MissKittyMomma]

Well the boy finally dumped me and it hurts worse than I ever have. I feel stupid and used. I trusted the boy enough to take my virginity and look where it got me. Im completely humiliated, furious, upset, and Idk how else to put it. I am heartbroken completely. I dont know how to deal with this kind of pain. I have never hurt like this before. I want to be back with him. I would give anything to still be with him. He says its for the best but it doesnt feel like it. Plus last night I caught him in sooo many lies. I dont want to lose him for good. He wants to be best friends but what he dont understand is if I am around him and we arent together its going to hurt. I can't keep putting myself through the pain over and over again. He says hes sorry and that he regrets ever having sex with me. I feel horrible and dont know how to get over him

I had the same thing happen with my first. I would not even entertain being friends with him after this. If he wanted to really be your friend - would he lie or treat you this way? I don't think so. I think he wants to keep you pining for him - and no one else. Boys at this age don't know what the heck they want, and do whatever they please it seems. They (most of them not all - there are some real men out there - don't give up!) will act however they see fit to gain the things they are after. Men do not relate sex to emotions. Again most not all! I was in this same boat as you until I was married. I am 31 and got married at 29. I know this hurts like nothing else you have felt before and for that I am truly sorry.

The only positive things I can say about this are- 1 - He did YOU a favor - you don't need someone that doesn't care about you in your life or your pants! 2 - If in life if you never got the BAD how would you truly know how good the GOOD really is.

I am sorry that is lame, and I am sure you don't feel much better, but know that not all men are like this, just be very picky and take your time getting to know them in every sense. Things will get a bit(not much lol) better when you get a little older hopefully.

Love yourself! You are a bright - beautiful girl that does not need the likes of this donkey in your life! :-* I hope for all the best for you sweety!

[JBeaucaire]

Wow, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to view this situation honestly though, because there is much good that can come from it. But only by heartless honesty.

You're never going to lose the feelings you've had for him. Those are real enough and since you GOT dumped, they aren't diminished yet in any way. The way you get over him though is to be honest when you talk about what is/has happened. Does that make sense?

FIRST - stop accusing him in your mind of taking your virginity. You two mutually decided to include sex in your young relationship, and it backfired. That doesn't make you a victim of sexual attack, he's not the bad guy on THIS point. OK?

You two did that together. Forgetting the breakup, I hope the experience was at least meaningful. Mine was. When I gave my virginity to a girl, I too regretted it later, but the experience was at least meaningful and sweet. I can't blame her for it, and I knew we weren't going to last forever, anyway, so I participated in "giving it" to someone who wasn't going to my ultimate soul mate.

SECOND - Your list of feelings is long, but the important one is the heartbroken one. Everything else you list is just red herrings. You're extremely upset that you've been dumped. Getting dumped (or dumping) is the likely end to 95% of all dating relationships.

Humiliation and embarrasment should only come when someone or many someone's discover /publicize secret information about you, something you don't want public. This hasn't happened here.

Furious, upset... understandable. That's good. As long as you aim that in the right direction. Being mad at him might be pointless. But angry at the things you allowed to happen when you could have avoided them, angry for not paying attention to the signs that said you two weren't as perfect as you were dreaming, angry that you didn't see through the lies earlier... that's useful anger.

THIRD - you would give anything to still be with him? This is scary. I hope that's just the pain talking. Your mind should not allow this sort of thing to actually occur. He's made it clear he can do these things to you, unexpectedly, almost out of the blue, and you long to get MORE of that insecure love from him? I hope not!

This pain will lessen in intensity. It will. But since you were the one dumped, you're going to have to take it easy. You're going to have to ignore anything he says to you during this time. Either it will honest and you won't want to hear it, or it will be false meant to make him/you feel better in the short term... which actually isn't helpful at all.

If you do have to spend this time sorting through it all, sort through it with your future in mind. Think about the things you did this time you want to do differently next time. Think about how much you want sex to be a part of your dating life seeing how it is the only point you made other than breaking up, it sounds like it is the worst additional point. Maybe you keep that one on the shelf next time?

I am sorry for your loss. Please be honest in your mind while your heart is pain and don't waste too much energy hating him since that uses energy you don't have to spare. If he's just being honest and wants to move on, you need to let that happen.

Painful as it is, your future with someone else is already on its way. Eyes ahead.

[cheesseball]

We all make mistakes .we just have to learn from them. I understand your pain completely just be happy he wants to be your best friend I know it hurts to just be friends sometimes its harder to just be friends than to not talk to him at all. Maybe he just needs a little space try not to put a whole bunch a questions on him now just let him know you care for him. You guys are both probably really confused. Look on the bright side your still friends and you lost your virginity with someone you care for and not just someone. Hope for the best and ill hope too. It'll be ohk.
And I know this is probably not what you want to hear but if things don't work out there are other guys out there someone that's better for you... and you will find that person and you will get over this one it just takes time

[f104]

Keep coming back here for starters. The pain is not fun. Only time can will lessen it. But it is good that you are reaching out to others for help. I wish you the best.