[Danny88]

OK I am 19 years old and I am still a virgin and I feel like a freak... the only thing is that no one knows I am. Everyone thinks I have had sex multiple times and probably wouldn't believe me if I told them otherwise... this makes it hard for me to actually have sex because I feel that I'm just going to be god awful and have no idea what I am doing (sexual experience 0) and girls expect me to be good in bed, is it weird to be a virgin at 19? Why doesn't this come easier to me? I mean I have had plenty of opportunities I just didn't want my first time to be with a slutty girl I didn't have feelings for, should I just say screw it and have sex with the next girl that comes my way and if so should I tell her straight up? Or should I continue to wait? I want to find someone special to loose it to, but it seems that girls aren't interested in inexperienced men and I feel the longer I wait the worse my situation is going to get...

[plonak]

You should wait!! Sex is not something you should just get out of the way. Wait until marriage or if you don't want that wait until you find love. When you find the right woman she won't care if you're not experienced she will love you no matter what... and you will get more experienced over time.. and who cares what other people think, when you find the right girl, tell her that you're a virgin and you want to wait.. guaranteed if she's a good girl, she will LOVE to hear that.. innocence it's a good quality in a guy now-a-days..

[suddenImpact]

I lost my virginity when I was 19. I guess the big difference, is everyone knew I was a virgin. I didn't care that other people knew, so if someone asked, I'd tell 'em I was. If I were you, I would not just run out and have sex with anyone. I'm glad I waited and found someone I really had feelings for. Just tell her you're a virgin, and that your not ready yet. You want to either wait for marriage (your choice), or just until your more comfortable with her. For me personally, a lot of foreplay was the best way to go. Tell her you just want to mess around a while, after a few weeks (months, or years) maybe it will lead to something more.

[simoneaugie]

There are guys with years of sexual experience who do it like virgins.

With someone you really care about, someone you can talk to, tell her just what's up. Ask her what she likes and learn to please her. It may take plenty of practice. Until you do that, you are still a great guy.

Virginity is not something to be embarrassed about. If it continues to bother you, think of it like a pimple on your nose. It will eventually go away.

[Choux]

My opinion is that I think you should think of dating a lot over the next 2-3 years and having sex with a girl you really like. Virginity is a great burden as the years pass by. I had sex first when I was 21, and that was just about right.

Just a bit of wisdom from me... the first few times a man has sex with a new, non-sluttish girl/woman... it isn't all that great because of natural holding back and shyness on the part of the woman and newness of the intimate sharing. My point being, all you have to be is good at foreplay which is easy, and feel your way *slowly* through the penetration and stroking. Just don't worry about that part! Don't get all apologetic... newness is newness. :)

Sex gets really good after about 4-5 times with a new pairing as you and your girl feel more and more comfortable with all that is going on!

[britster]

ok i am 19 years old and i am still a virgin and i feel like a freak... the only thing is that no one knows i am. everyone thinks i have had sex multiple times and probably wouldn't believe me if i told them otherwise... this makes it hard for me to actually have sex because i feel that i'm just gonna be god awful and have no idea what i am doing (sexual experience 0) and girls expect me to be good in bed, is it weird to be a virgin at 19? why doesn't this come easier to me? i mean i have had plenty of opportunities i just didn't want my first time to be with a slutty girl i didn't have feelings for, should i just say screw it and have sex with the next girl that comes my way and if so should i tell her straight up? or should i continue to wait? i want to find someone special to loose it to, but it seems that girls aren't interested in inexperienced men and i feel the longer i wait the worse my situation is gonna get...

Im 19 and I find it a turn on that you're a virgin... you shouldn't just have sex cause you want to not be a virgin. You sound like a very nice gentlemen don't worry she will come to you... and when she does you will be so happy that you waited. Hang in there buddy :)

[DMA]

virginity is not an illness. Everyone is born a virgin. Losing it as soon as possible is not a good thing in my opinion. I'm a 21 year old virgin if it makes you feel a little better ;)

[Alty]

Virginity isn't a badge that you wear, the reverse of a scarlet letter. Enjoy your life, don't be so hung up on being a virgin, it really isn't that big a deal. You say that you want it to be special, with someone you care about, well, considering the type of person you are, it's very likely that you will meet someone wonderful, caring, loving, who is also a virgin. It's really nothing to worry about, and a guy that's a virgin is a major turn on to most women.

Good luck.

[sacsunshine]

Hi! I am a 22 year old female and from my college experiences I have learned that there are so many people not having sex that are in their late teens/early twenties! You are not alone! Actually, the first time I had sex I was 19 and my boyfriend-at-the-time was 19, as well. We were both virgins. I had been with him about six months before we decided to do it together. Due to circumstances, we broke up (mutually), but we were together for a little more than three years. I am seeing another wonderful person, and he is 26 years old; he will be 27 in a few months. He has never had sex before and indeed never been naked with any person! He told me that the reason he simply never had sex with anyone was because he was not comfortable with them enough to share that experience; we are planning on our first sex experience very soon, but we prefer to call it love-making. Anyway, you should never have sex if you do not feel ready! If you have to ask the question concerning whether you are ready or not then you really are not ready- plain and simple. Also, you should do it with someone that you love, and if not love then at least like deeply/care about/trust and are comfortable with very much so! Sorry to write such a long pose, but I wish you well. When you do meet a wonderful girl/woman, whether she is "the one" or "the one (for right now)" then you'll have amazing sex for the pure reason that you care deeply/trust/ and are comfortable with her!

[JoeCanada76]

You should wait. Wait for that special one. Who cares what anybody else thinks. You should be proud that your still a virgin.

[Apocryphy]

This is not abnormal at all. I am actually pleased to hear you want your first time to mean something other than getting it over with. The first thing I suggest is to stop worrying about it. When you do that's when the girl you have been waiting to share your first time walks in. I would also hope she is also a virgin too who was waiting for you! No worries over anything other than the two of you exploring, learning, and understanding each of your needs. Good luck and stay true to yourself.

[want_to_know]

Definitely wait. First of all because your asking us what to do with one of the things that is most scared to you which clearly indicates your not ready. Second of all since your unsure you do not want to rush it and then have regrets. Once it is done you can not get it back. Also, your body is clean and pure sex goes along way pass just pleasure and proving points to other people. There are a lot of consequences good and bad that follow sometimes. Children, STD's, emotions,etc.. Make sure when you do plan to give your body to someone else that you love them and cherish them and performance will come so do not be embrassed everyone had a first time!! Some people lie about having sex too because they are embrassed and scard just like you. Everyone is not having sex.

[kp2171]

I didn't have intercourse until 20. Dated a girl through HS and college, and she wanted to wait though we were sexually active in other ways... though "sexually active virgin" is an odd tag. Lets not make this a debate about that... we've fought that battle in other threads.

My mother became pregnant at 16. She was the straight A student who walked the straight and narrow until she had sex, and then me. Had to go back to get her GED. So... by the time my hormones were raging like mad... sure I was interested, and I probably would have had sex earlier had I been with a girl who didn't hold back... but in some ways it was actually easier, less stress. By the time I had sex, I was more prepared for it and it didn't hurt one bit to wait a while.

As for being good in bed and worrying about living up to the rep... everybody starts somewhere and learns sometime. Most guys are clueless at first, and most girls don't know what they need to best experience sex... but the discovery is part of the fun. The simplest advice id give is don't rush, don't be all over the place, allow sensual tension to build, and talk to your lover about what she likes and wants.

If I've learned anything useful over time, its because I talked to wonderful, strong women who were not afraid or ashamed of talking about sex openly.

*tried to PM you about something but your profile won't allow it. Bounce one to me if you are still following this thread.*

[sallyasdf]

Well first off, there is no reason to be ashmed to be a virgin. People that aren't and still are not married should be ashamed. No, don't give up so easily, the right girl sill come and she will be your perfect match, the two of you will get married, if she truly loves you she will respect that you waited.

[billmmelb]

I watch politics a lot and noticed that there is a strange tendency of people to vote how they fantasize themselves being (wealthy) rather than what is actually good for them (usually middle class). So tax breaks for the extremely wealthy are easy to pass in Congress (don't worry, I'll get to virginity very soon) while balancing the budget to take pressure off the middle class was very difficult under Bush. My point is that all our media probably over-sells the idea that everyone is having sex, because we kind of like the concept of sexual gratification all the time, on the other hand, people don't find it as easy as you would think to do that. So society makes you feel isolated as a virgin - I was until I got married - but in fact there are many more virgins probably than anyone would let on. In fact people lie consistently to pollsters who ask about things like that. People want pollsters to think they are 'good' or 'normal', like are sexually experience or - lol - go to church, when in fact are not or do not. So what other people do is really a shell game. Don't worry about it at all.

[Synnen]

This thread is TWO YEARS OLD.

Please watch dates when responding.

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