Check out some similar questions!

Muziqschild1 · May 8, 2008, 05:32 PM

Hello all... I hope I'm doing this right ANYWAY... Heres the story...

Im 18 and I've been with my boyfriend for four years now:D... I recently found out that there are some problems with me eggs And the chances of me having a baby are slim... And they will get even slimmer as I age... We were thinking that we should just have a baby baby now being that we've been together so long & we don't plan on breaking up... We both have jobs & are attending the same school.. We really want a family together & wouldn't want to wait yrs just to find out that I'm definitely not capable.. BUT I still don't know what to do... What do you think?:)

JBeaucaire · May 9, 2008, 03:09 AM

I think the egg thing feels like a real issue, but it's not. If you two are ready to make a baby, then get married, swear fealty before God and man and your future children for all time, and make the physical environment match the dream.

Having a baby is PART of a family plan, it's not THE plan.

The kid you desire deserves it all, doesn't he? Also, the egg is not the only way to have your own child. There's a lot of science on your side in the future when you've fully prepared the way. There's adoption, there's surrogacy... a lot to consider.

tai18 · May 12, 2008, 05:02 PM

Well your 18 but I would at least wait until 20 or when I'm finished college and in a permanet job.. you and your boyfriend should be using this year to save up on all the money your going to need to take care of your child if you guys are serious about having a family why not get married? If he can have a child with you why not just get married and have family? Talk to him about marriage and a apartment for you guys that you can afford monthly if you can afford a apartment monthly then there's NO WAY you guys can afford a child. . But that's my opinion I think you guys should think it through make sure your in the right financial state expecialy since you can't work after you have the child for a while. . getting up every hour in the night, the crying/screaming. Just look at the pros and cons

Alty · May 12, 2008, 05:13 PM

The fact that you are asking for someone else's opinion speaks volumes.

You obviously don't think you're ready to have a child, that's very obvious from the way you worded your post. If you have even one tiny little doubt then I'd say wait, you aren't ready.

Obviously this is your choice, it's your body, but 18 is very young to be responsible for a child, not just financially and physically, but emotionally as well. I have two children, I was 28 years old when my first was born, it's hard work. Even if you're married, both with jobs and making good money, a house etc. etc. it's still hard.

Think it over, make a list of pros and cons before you make a final decision. Maybe talk to your parents about it too, see what they think.

Good Luck.

JBeaucaire · May 13, 2008, 09:43 AM

Muziqschild1 agrees: Im kind of half & half on your answer.. I don't really have doubts... I want this more then anything in the world BUT just because you want somethung that doesnt make it the right thing to do. BUt thnks your answer also help.. :)

Holy cow! How old are you? Do you have any idea how insightful that is? There are FIFTY year olds out there that STILL haven't figured out that their wants should not dictate all their choices in life.

Wow, I'm really stunned here. Thanks for posting that. You saying that one thing encourages ME. I know you're the one with the conflicted heart right now, but THANK YOU for lifting my day.

If you're able to sincerely experience that thought, then I really expect great things from your life... your WHOLE life.

Thanks again.

l341972 · May 13, 2008, 09:46 AM

Don't do it.you should wait.

ScottGem · May 13, 2008, 09:51 AM

I'm curious as to why marriage is not an option? If you are committed to each other, then it should be the most logical thing.

dreaming08 · May 13, 2008, 01:03 PM

I am currently 18, and though I don't have children of my own, they are TONS of work. My friend that is 17 has a baby and she has a lot to deal with. The thought, believe me, is amazing. But actually raising one, is way harder than you might realize. I wouldn't necessarily have a child right now, especially how the ecomony and the world is. You say you both want the baby, but it might change, and you have to think about the future. You will have to take care of that child for 18 years+. It's a very big responibility. JUST think before you have one.

o NitSuA o · May 13, 2008, 06:02 PM

I would advise against it for two reasons. 1) at 18 while you guys might have stable jobs, it might not be enough to take care of a child. And 2) because there are a lot of advancements in the field of science that can allow you to have a child with your own eggs and his own semen.

A 4 year relationship may a while but please remember you are not even 20 yet and you still have a wonderful life ahead of you.

sallyasdf · May 13, 2008, 06:10 PM

You should really wait and be married to have a child. Pregancy is not the only option, there is adoption and you could have a sergant.

ScottGem · May 14, 2008, 05:37 AM

Comments on this postMuziqschild1 agrees: Marriage is an option MOST def... Never said it wasn't.:)

Ok, I guess I misunderstood. The first response strongly suggested getting married first and building a home before you have a child. He then went on to suggest other alternatives to your getting pregnant. You responded to that with a comment that the options he mentioned were not options for you.

Muziqschild1 · May 14, 2008, 03:15 PM

TO ALL: I meant the other options are not an option for us... We don't feel comfortable with them

ChihuahuaMomma · May 20, 2008, 09:22 PM

She could have a sargent, who knows. It could be a lawyer, a doctor, what it wants to be... Sorry, just a joke on someone's comment.

I agree with everyone here that you should wait until you are a little more stable. And by that I mean, once you two are done with school and/or married.

Adoption and surrogacy are great options. They are a lot of wonderful babies that need great parents. And surrogates are the most wonderful women, in my opinion. Such a selfless act! Just because you MAY not be able to carry a baby IN YOUR BODY, doesn't mean that you can't carry a baby that is YOURS.

Sorry, that was horribly corny. I wish you all the best. Also, was this just one doctor that told you this? On something so life-altering, I would seek a second, maybe even THIRD OR FOURTH opinion.

amcasbur · May 20, 2008, 11:47 PM

I would suggest that you at least finish high school before anything takes place. That's the best advice I will offer you. I would like to also state that just because you would like to have a baby with the man you love doesn't mean you have to be married. Also be careful with high school relationships, mine ended during the thanksgiving of the first year of college, and we were together for 4 years as well. College and University can be a great turning point in your life. I have been living with my common law partner for a year and 5 months, since I met him in College. But if you do decide to have a child and attend College look into their assistance programs. I had a friend who received double on her OSAP (its an ontario government assistance program which you have to pay back) and free daycare with the school, as well as health and dental benefits with the school for both her child and herself. I would just say to take your time assessing your finances, and planning a budget, and saving up. Just take it step by step, don't overwhelm yourself. P.S. My grandfather (who is a doctor) says that no one is ever totally ready for a baby until they hold the child in their arms, financially or emotionally.

A.M. Casburn
Animation Graduate