[louise21xx]

Its been two years now since me and my ex broke up, and I'm still not over him,
I feel like I can't fall in love again because of it, and he won't get out of my head either, I never even knew why we broke up in the first place, I want to find love again but I just can't seem to find the right person anymore, I feel like there's nothing left in my life

[ihatewestseneca]

Are you still in contact with him? Have you really come to terms with the fact that you won't be with him again? These things are crucial to moving on. Its been about 4 months since my ex and I split up, I still miss her and all, but there are incredibly rational reasons I can't be with her, even if she did want me back... and that's what keeps me from being stuck on her.

[kp2171]

Keep at it... after my first big breakup (after 7 years dating) I didn't even think about dating for over a year... well, other than the "will she come back" crap that keeps you up at night. And even when I did start dating in that second year, she was still there in my head.

It took a few misses dating and then eventually a new love to get past her... in my case there was nobody I cared to date for forever... then suddenly there were three different women who were interested and interesting to me. Life is just wacked like that.

So... after losing that first huge love, and then loving two other loves that I later lost also, I eventually found my wife. The ex's... all of them... no longer kick about my mind other than an occasional passing thought that has no angst, suffering, or hurt attached.

So... it takes time. Keep at it. I remember thinking "am i ever going to find someone again"... well, yeah. So try not to beat yourself up about the past, because its just that. Done. OK... there's a few billion people in this world. He mightve have had some good qualities, but he wasn't that unique that there isn't others. Its just a pain when you are wanting to move on but things aren't clicking.

[JBeaucaire]

Since you were the one broken up with, this is the way it's going to be. I'm sorry, that's just normal emotional-mechanics. You possibly didn't even see it coming. It makes a much deeper emotional hole in the heart of the person who got dumped.

Your only recourse is to keep moving on. He was honest with you when he dumped you. He meant it. It was over. Now the same will only be true for you when you actually HAVE something else going on in your life to replace the time/energy spent still thinking about him.

There is not shortcut. Only time and new things in your life will heal it. You've spent the time. Continue... and now start bringing in all the new stuff and people. New new new.

It's the only way. Without newness and change in your life, what you have now is what you will have.

[progunr]

It has already been said, Time is the only healer of this type of wound.

In addition, your attitude and the amount of time you spend dwelling on this subject will have an effect on just how much time it will take.

Best of luck to you in getting over this.

[talaniman]

How proactive are you about your own healing? Are you keeping busy, and making friends, and finding things to do that you enjoy? Are you exploring yourself, and challenging yourself to new activities? If not click on the links in my signature, for some good suggestions, and insights, to what you should be doing to move on. You are sure in the right place, as we all here have gone through it with being dumped, and getting our lives back. You are not alone.