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danieladam · Apr 30, 2008, 04:58 AM

Hi just need some input and some advice. Thanks.

Basically I feel insecure most of the time when I am with my girlfirend we have been with each other for a 5 months now, I feel so strong for her and I would do anything for this girl. She's 16 and I am 18, and I feel that sometimes I am just too mature and think about things too much. I show this girl so much love and care and sometimes she just doesn't show it back. She has just got back from holiday she was away for 12 days she said she missed me and loves me, but when she got back it seemed like they were just words with no meaning, she hardly showed it.

We had a little argument about it, but is it me thinking too much into things, I get worried if she doesn't text me and she if I am lucky she will show some affection towards me, it means so much when she does but I would like it a little more.

I just want this relationship to last, but I feel its me who might ruin it.

Thanks for reading hope you can help.

talaniman · Apr 30, 2008, 04:05 PM

Maybe instead of a relationship, you should get help for your personal issues. Your right, you can ruin things, unless you take action, and get a little help. Start with your family doctor, and let him help guide you to the right help.

tigerlilly3 · Apr 30, 2008, 05:14 PM

Well, Im 19 so I've been there done that but I was with him for 4yrs and notice I said was. It's not worth giving someone your all if they don't give it back. I would try talking to her about it and tell her if she's not really into you then stop wasting your time. I know how it feels to give someone everything and they don't want it. Evaluate the relationship and see if you are getting the fullfillment you need if not move on, it will happen eventually anyway. Life is to short I'm so serious I know I'm still young but I wasted 4 yrs of my life with someone who didn't once give back the love that I was giving. And what she's not willing to give you someone else will. I know because you love her it's hard to realize and see the right thing to do but seriously you can rarely change people. Even if you aren't ready to let her go just do a pretend brakeup and see how she reacts, don't call her for a day or what also works is act the way she is right back. You need to give people a taste of their own medicine so they see what it feels like. Sorry so long but I hope it helps!!

Miss Priss 007 · Apr 30, 2008, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by danieladam

Hi just need some input and some advice. Thanks.

Basically i feel insecure most of the time when i am with my girlfirend we have been with each other for a 5 months now, i feel so strong for her and i would do anything for this girl. Shes 16 and i am 18, and i feel that sometimes i am just too mature and think about things too much. I show this girl so much love and care and sometimes she just doesnt show it back. She has just got back from holiday she was away for 12 days she said she missed me and loves me, but when she got back it seemed like they were just words with no meaning, she hardly showed it.

We had a little argument about it, but is it me thinking to much into things, i get worried if she doesnt text me and she if i am lucky she will show some affection towards me, it means so much when she does but i would like it a little more.

I just want this relationship to last, but i feel its me who might ruin it.

Thanks for reading hope you can help.

You are still so young! Enjoy your youth and have fun. She is 16 and I know it might sound crazy to you but wait until your 20's or so to have a "serious" relationship with a mature person. You are too young for commitment. I am a lot older than you and I had a boyfriend at that age. Now I regret it and wish I did more than be wrapped up in him. You will be able to appreciate this advice 10 years from now!!

Jiser · Apr 30, 2008, 06:53 PM

Walk away if your not happy. Its not worth your emotions. Its much better without all the bull s***. Life is a lot simpler.

workedtoohard · Apr 30, 2008, 09:42 PM

People's advice is so monlithic. Its like they all copy each other and repeat each other. Anyway, here's what you do! You work on you! What are you good at? What are you interested in? I know exactly how you feel bro. Love makes you scared! But instead of ruining it with her, you just have to INVEST in learning about jobs, sports, the city you live, and you will find confidence when you do. Secondly she loves you. Why should you worry about losing her?

srulik86 · May 12, 2008, 03:03 PM

Exactly wrokedtoohard is so right. I'm currently involved in someone who I once lost by being too insecure and paranoid all the time. We got back 2gther recently which is what I wanted more than anything in the whole world. I still get insecure at times, espeically tonight... hence my being on here. But you got to do things that will distract yourself from her so your not contantly waiting for her to text, etc... make a life outside of her. That's what I have done... and things feel much better. I really missed her today and no matter what she said in her text I like you didn't believe it... because I am in missing her mode and just want her to be all over me and with me. Give her space and she will miss you and start showing you more affection. Play it cool. Play the polotics of the relationship. Like I text her today having not seen her all day, but tomorrow I won't and I'm busy all day and night tomorrow which will not only keep me distracted but also let her miss me a bit and let her know its her turn to initate communcation etc... all sounds silly but these little things work. Just be happy and think about how unhappy you will be without her. When my girlfriend first ended it with me back last year I was trumertised and didn't know what to do... all I knew was that I wanted her back soooo much and now I do have her back I appriciate it more than ever. Confidence and keeping it 'cool' is such an attractive quality. I'm not syaing treat her mean but keep her on her toes. Last week I wa meant to be meet my girlfriend at some party, I was 2 hours late... which annoyed her but as soon as I got there I gave the 'oh well' atitude which strangely turned her on and made her be all over me. Women are a strange breed my friend... just play the game. And don't be so wet!

anee1989 · Dec 26, 2010, 06:45 AM

Wow! Srulik86 has the same story as me. I am extremely insecure and parabnoid with my boyfriend, who I dearly love and it has pushed him away from me but now things are better. These are few tips to follow.
(1) If you love someone, you must trust them, unless you have witnessed them cheating with your own DAMN eyes.
(2) If u call them, and they don't respond, whether for an hour or several, do not call or text again. People are busy sometimes, and you must convince yourself that your partner is too!
(3) Let them call u/ text u.The less you show interest in them and the more you make them feel less wanted, the more they'll chase u. This is human nature.
(4) Give them space. Everyone is an individual.
(5)If nothing helps, think to yourself that you really love this girl, if you keep chasing her/annoying her, you will push her away, would that help? Is that what you want?