[Marriedguy]

Hello everyone, I wanted to know what is a respectable time for two people who are dating to start having sex?

24hr - 1,2,3 months or what?

And how long are you willing to wait?

[Fr_Chuck]

What ever happened till you were married??

Still get a lot of people here that are in their 20's and 30's that are still virgins. But we get others that don't know their partners last name and do it on the first date.

I go for marriage and if not till at least a long term seroius relationship and we are talking a lot longer than 3 months

[Marriedguy]

I think waiting for marriage is out of the questions these days. I really that you should have sex boyfriend or girlfriend before you decide to try to spent the rest of your life with this person.

[frangipanis]

Good question. I'd say it would be a combination of time to let thoughts and feelings sink-in properly, and how much you know about the other person. Probably between two to three months if you've spoken a lot and exchanged important facts and thoughts, have met a number of times, and you know this person is special to you. Being sure you want to enter into a long-term relationship with them would be most important.

[ISneezeFunny]

My girlfriend and I waited a year before we started having sex...

[Marriedguy]

@ ISneeezeFunny; Wow. A year that's kind of extreme. Longest I waited was about 6 months.

[templelane]

I'm with Sneeze, a year is what I waited with my boyfriend and I'd try and do the same again. I wouldn't even consider it before 6 months. EDIT not that I think there is anything wrong with people who don't, it's just that is what feels comfortable for me.

Marriage, however, I definitely wouldn't do- try before you buy and all that! I would hate to get married to somebody and then find out we were sexually incompatible.

Also being non religious the only reason I would get married would be if I wanted to have children and then it would be to aid financial and legal aspects of child rearing.

[ISneezeFunny]

Well, we were in college... I was not a virgin, but she was... and she wanted to wait until she knew that I was one of the guys she could "possibly spend the rest of her life with."

[N0help4u]

Marriage is best, but with this instant convenient mentality that we now have it seems to be within 7-11-24 hrs. Sex first cause you *love* the packaging, questions later, then you realize what did I get myself into:(??

Short of marriage:
Get to know *HIM rather than how he wants you to see *him
Watch for all RED FLAGS
Get an idea of his family life and upbringing -I have come to realize that DOES tell a lot
Work history --if he doesn't work he most likely has a lazy attitude about life
Also I like to do a birth chart with basic astrological traits w/ a numerology profile for people --more accurate than anything usually-- I do NOT do the daily and future stuff with the astrology though
Also for me I have started telling guys, "I ain't no easy sleazy, no sloppy seconds. I don't want a dead end relationship. If that is what you want they come a dime a dozen so go spend your dime/time down the road.

*him *he /her she

[Simple Asian]

Lol... you no I always wondering what happends to sex after married.. lol... but there is no such thing as sex after married anymore...

As us human maturely growing up everyday.. and the socialty these day becoming... this kind of physical need is no longer can hold on to...

Well... it depend on whenever you feel like you ready then u ready... dont ever let anyone force you or you willing to do it b.c you want to keep him/her to you

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

I definitely agree that a potential relationship needs to feel out the intimacy part before making big decisions.

I was a virgin and waited with my boyfriend for 3 months. Not to short and not to long... for me anyway.

[MOWERMAN2468]

Ummm, lets see, wait until after the preacher pronounces you husband and wife.

[isabelgopo]

No more than 2 weeks!!

[Marriedguy]

Listen, everyone is entitled their own opinions and if you read the guidelines to leaving negative comments they would know, and understand that you don't leave because your opinion is different.

Now, let me address this whole waiting to get married which does not work for one. Two people who love each other should not wait until a church or government declares husband and wife. Sex which I feel is important and big deal should happen when two people decided that they are ready. And when there are ready they should use protection.

With the answer wait until they marriage means that couple could on the first date get married and in Vegas have sex and get it realized that they made a mistake and get the marriage annulled the next day.

Not when some Church or government establishment says there and now husband and wife. I honestly marriage starts in the hearts and minds of two people first. The actually act of getting married in the spiritual and legal manifestations of that.

I know couples that are just dating that have stronger relationship then people in 10-20 year old marriage.

Where in the Holy Bible does it state anything about marriage – the way men and women were joined together in the good book through sex relationship would recite give you chapters in verses but this not the forum.

Second, I think it is totally disrespectful and unethical to even assume that everyone subscribes to your belief. With the 300 + different dominations of Christianity, which makes you think that I subscribe to yours? How do you know we don't share the same faith in which your answer has its origin?

Finally, the STDs rates are so high because people are having unprotected sex. How does having sex less they a year time increase STD rates? Newlywed couples are more likely to pass a STD on each other because they will most likely will have unprotected sex. Or does you argument just assume that this two people would be virgins when they get together?

[NowWhat]

I would say the waiting game isn't necessarily about time. "In 2 months we are having sex"
I think it is about or should be when you can fully trust someone. When you can trust them with your heart, mind then your body.

Now, if you just want sex and not the relationship, then I guess the above would not apply.
If you are wanting to make love - then you should wait until you know it is more than just sex for the other person.

I do like the idea of waiting until marriage - I wish I had done that.

[mafiaangel180]

It depends on how much you talk, how often you see each other. I think two people know when it just feels right. It used to be that it took two months for me. Ideally I would want to wait 5 months, but having a set time is unrealistic. Face it... if there's a connection and the mood is right... candles, wine, music, a cabin in the middle of no where... do you really want to look back with regret and think "damn I shoulda porked her!" NO!! Lol.

[liar2]

I think marriage is best for virgins only! If you are a person who knows how sex feels wit other people waiting to get married to a particular person can be a mistake... Not every man can do it the way I want it. I don't think I would take the chance. But I say it all depends on the individuals... But if you looking for a relationship to last... I think after 4 to six months should be sufficient time. Knowing them and getting along is more important I believe.

[frangipanis]

I tend to agree with mafiangle180 except for the 'porking' bit lol.

However, people can make really stupid mistakes and knowing the other person sufficiently well enough takes time (there are no shortcuts) and without a little patience, giving in to the emotional rush of taking advantage of a lovely warm moment can lead to a hellish roller-coaster ride that can last for years. That's because once you take that step, it's much trickier to exctract yourself from the other person as sex can give a relationship momentum it wouldn't otherwise have. Besides, the build up of waiting to take the next step can be just as romantic and wonderful, and why not savour those early days of a new relationship? Waiting gives you both a special time to look back on, and greater trust in each other that you're not likely to skip off with someone else when struck by a similar mood.