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sarah_s · Mar 18, 2008, 11:11 AM

Okay. I've been with my first boyfriend for at-least 7 months and finally he cracked the shell and said he wants space, and to be alone because, he can't be in a long relationship since, it's happening too fast for him and he's too young (and not in interested in a relationship at the same time) Which I totally respect and gave him.

He has said these to me ''he cannot forgive himself for saying that'', “any guy will be lucky to have you” ''he's being selfish'' and that ''that he's not good enough for me'' which I convinced is not true as well, after (emotional) sex he said ''Sarah. I'll make it clear. Nothing has changed''. It's complicated for us and it hurt us both. He said he still loves me. He has been in past relationships but, claimed not difficult as this one because, I'm different.
He said he'll call me after the break up but, he didn't. Frustrated I texted him instead the next day. I said something stupid in the end saying ''I miss you'' since, we were used to saying that all the time which he didn't responsed he only showed he's fine and said we can still talk. It's been 3 days now. I'm just worried he'll slowly let go of me because, we have been really really close and I don't want to ruin that bond. I'm not worried the fact of the break up but, I don't want to break the bond we've had. I want to be friends but, I still know the space and alone issuie. I know give the guy a break! I'm just worried.. mainly the ''nothing has changed'' he said which hit me.

Can I have some advice please? If my story is confusing I'll try to make it clearer for you.

talaniman · Mar 18, 2008, 02:05 PM

Sorry for your loss, and hope you can move on as he wants some space for whatever reason and you should give it to him. That means to leave him alone and occupy your time with other things and other people. It may not be easy, but is necessary, or you will become a needy pest, and push him farther away from you.

justanother · Mar 18, 2008, 02:50 PM

Wish I dropped contact with me ex from the get go. All it did was cause confusion and more pain. I tried to be a friend but it just didn't work cause I wanted more. So I'm one solid week no contact. Got to be strong and remember the things you did before that you had fun with or whatever it takes to get your self-esteem back up. I've looked into a change of career, change of style, and went back to breakdancing and working out to get my body cut back up.

Windshield21 · Mar 18, 2008, 05:30 PM

I felt the same way(for about 5 mins) about my ex.. I was not worried about losing her I Was worried about her not caring about losing me... I think we are on the same wave length. But I quickly realized that was just my own insecurity and it should in NO WAY effect you if the relationship is over. If he has completely forgotten you and who you are that is not something for you to worry about. The only thing it is, is their loss. Move on with your life and gain an even deeper bond with the next person you meet.

sarah_s · Mar 19, 2008, 11:48 AM

Don't get me wrong. I hear everyone's answers. I appreciate them. I just need some upcoming detail on this.

Point to the fact him and me have still became close friends as he said. He texted and called me today after just 4 days of break up. We talked saying how we were doing and stuff. It was great. He said he'll call me after he finished his college test. After, 8 hours. He didn't call me. Yet again. This issuie is a little bit different now.
I called him which I know I defientely shouldn't of. Then I hung up which is strange because, he ALWAYS picks up his phone and calls me after if I missed called him. If he ignored my call or if he got annoyed why would he phone me in the first place.. More space probably.. If someone were to answer ''give it up'' my words on this is not expressive enough then through action.

talaniman · Mar 19, 2008, 12:08 PM

Do you expect to get him back? Can you just be friends, while he dates others?

sarah_s · Mar 19, 2008, 12:25 PM

I might be a pest we are still friends so, it's not like I'm determind to get him back because, I respect his decision. Like I said, he's not interesting in a relationship including dating others as because, he wants to have space on his own (doesn't include friends & family obviously) and you probably might me thinking even we are still friends he still wants his space from me cos' I was the relationship but, that's not different till' he called me which was his decision and not mine.

sarah_s · Mar 20, 2008, 12:14 PM

The question(s) doesn't matter now as I'm still close with my ex and we still very much love each other. Of course, I'm still giving his space.

talaniman · Mar 20, 2008, 09:00 PM

Originally Posted by sarah_s

The question(s) doesn't matter now as I'm still close with my ex and we still very much love each other. Of course, I'm still giving his space.

Not enough in love for a relationship.

sarah_s · Mar 21, 2008, 04:28 AM

Not enough in love for a relationship.

I can see where your going through. It's not a game for us you have to be quite immature if you expected more into that. Although, it doesn't concern me as the relationship doesn't involve automatic one on one as we rely much more then I thinking about relationships. I admit I enjoy my space too.