[laurlaurlum]

Hi. Im in college and I have had one boyfriend but I don't have a lot of experience otherwise and Im pretty shy when it comes to guys even though in general Im not that shy.

I started liking a guy last year right away when I met him. We became friends. Hes never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl and Ive heard other guys call him a pansy so that's why Im posting in this forum. I guess he's a bit like me because in general he's not crazy shy either. I hardly see him at all this year because our social circles have diverged a bit. Anyway, he found out I liked him. Now I want to mention he did do some things to suggest he liked me but is just shy. I don’t think it was wishful thinking because other people agreed with me. I won't go into detail but there was a lot of drama, basically people meddled without asking me, I never told anyone but my close friends that I liked him but once his friends figured it out they pestered him a bit and told him Ive liked him. (his friends are still stuck in the high school mentality which is why I stopped hanging around them in the first place) Now he told his best friend and close friend he didn't like me more than a friend and I believe him because from what Ive seen he tells them everything. I won't lie I was a bit surprised he wasn't at all interested. Im hesitant to say this because people will assume Im very arrogant, but Im a lot prettier than the past girls he has liked. Im not saying the past girls he's liked are bad- they are all very nice just not that attractive. Im not calling him shallow by any means (neither am I. I have had a lot of guys like me I assume because I am a prettier girl but I do have a good personality too) but I thought he would at least consider it. Anyway the one close friend whom he told this to apologized for meddling himself and said it might have turned out different otherwise if people hadn't done that. (I don't know if he is just saying that- this guy use to like me also.)
Anyway I ignored this guy and his stupid friends for awhile. The guy I like isn't particularly mean or catty but his friends get on my nerves a lot and I really don't like drama in the first place- when it happens I always tend to back off. He noticed apparently and kept asking a mutual friend why I don't talk to him. This confused me a bit since he had nothing to go off except for greetings and me walking around. I just assumed he was just worried I was mad or something. But then for awhile after a break from school he was acting like he didn't see me and didn't try to greet me or say hi.
Last weekend there was a party and he said he didn't want to go apparently. Someone called him trying to convince him to go. A friend of his answered his phone and the guy trying to convince him was like "but shes here" (no idea why he said that) I don't know if the friend relayed the message to him but he came right over. It was really awkward, he tried to talk to me a few times which surprised me. He randomly asked how my semester was going (havent seen him all semester) which was weird because at the time he was acting like he wasn't paying attention to me at all. He just kind of confuses me because he seems to talk to me when he acts like he's not noticing me if you know what I mean. Most people will look at you or you will know they will soon say something to you, know what I mean? He did sit next to me for awhile when he didn't have to (Im not like assuming he likes me or anything off this) but it was weird, he didn't look at me or try to talk me when he did this. Usually lack of eye contact means someone is disinterested or uncomfortable so I assume he is just worried I'm mad. Is this a reasonable explanation? Im sorry I guess I just don't understand guys like this. When stuff happens between me and my other guy friends they don't act like this at all.

[N0help4u]

Lack of eye contact means someone is disinterested or uncomfortable ---OR he is shy and uncomfortable too. You say he is shy and most likely you are confusing him too.
He said he likes you as a friend so why not try and be friendlier when he is around and not trying to analyze the situation so much.

[Marriedguy]

In your post there is a lot of he said, she said. Cut of the people in the middle I think he does like you but he wanted to date you on his terms no his friends. So in a defensive move he told a friend that he thought of you as a friend, that way his friends didn't try to hook the two of you up. What you need to do is stop the BS and talk to him alone. That means putting yourself out there.

I was shy once and I hated myself for not taking a chance.

[s_cianci]

It does seem like he and his friends have a bit of a maturity problem, like you've suggested. There's really nothing you can do about that. The best you can do is to try talking with him at your own level and maybe he'll respond in kind. Ultimately he's going to have to man up and steer his own ship rather than relying so much on his "friends."

[Marriedguy]

I second s-cianci on this one. These friends are acting like 6 graders. I like you if you like me check yes.