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    royweins's Avatar
    royweins Posts: 24, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 18, 2008, 04:08 PM
    What should I do after so long?
    Hi to everybody,

    I'm 22, used to date a girl two years younger then me, we dated for 3 1\2 years.
    About 8 months ago, she asked for a break and we ended up breaking up.
    About 2 weeks later she told me she started dating someone else.
    We stopped talking since than.
    I don't really know if they're still together but it doesn't really matter.
    On her birthday a month ago, I text her a massage and all she said was "thank you".

    Not a day goes by that I don't think of her.

    How do I move on? How do I know ot's really really over forever?

    I have this fear in me that I won't meet anyone that I will love like I loved her.

    Will time do it's thing? Is 8 months long enough?

    We had something special and I'm afraid I wint find it again.

    Thanks for the help!
    spartan24018's Avatar
    spartan24018 Posts: 61, Reputation: 12
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Feb 18, 2008, 06:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by royweins
    Hi to everybody,

    I'm 22, used to date a girl two years younger then me, we dated for 3 1\2 years.
    about 8 months ago, she asked for a break and we ended up breaking up.
    about 2 weeks later she told me she started dating someone else.
    We stopped talking since than.
    I dont really know if they're still together but it doesn;t really matter.
    On her birthday a month ago, I text her a massage and all she said was "thank you".

    Not a day goes by that I dont think of her.

    How do I move on? How do I know ot's really really over forever?

    I have this fear in me that I wont meet anyone that I will love like I loved her.

    Will time do it's thing? is 8 months long enough?

    we had somthing special and I'm afraid I wint find it again.

    Thanks for the help!
    How do you know it's really really over forever? When she asked you for a "break". In your mind, you might think it's a break but in her mind, it's definitely over. If you think about it, you don't take a "break" with the person you love. And you'll definitely find someone that you'll love forever because really, there's millions of people out in the world. If you made a connection with one, you're bound to make a lot more contact with a lot more people later in life. And yes, time will do it's thing but only if you do it for the right reasons. You guys had something special and shame on her for breaking up with you. Don't initiate contact with her and give her space (it's what she wanted in the first place, and you'll have time to get your life back together and be happy again); it's a win-win situation, buddy.
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Feb 18, 2008, 07:24 PM
    There is an old saying people come into your life for a reason, and she was be thankful you met her, sometimes we see an unperfect situation totally perfect because sometimes we turn the volume down on our intuition and ignore the tale tell signs, A good relationship just don't take breaks, there is a reason for everything, while she may have been your priority you may have only been her option, it's okay to think about her, hell we always think about people that made an impact in our lives, negative or positive, its just a part of living and learning. Sometimes we even make things out to be better than what they really are... about you not meeting anyone like her, Please hope that you don't and be careful what you wish for you might not just want that... I would hope you wouldn't want someone like her who just takes break and move on within a couple of weeks. We all say this sometimes, but you may meet someone better, just don't put her that high on a pedastal. You will get over her eventually and maybe she may come back, by that time you may not even want her,. all I can say is time always heal... and just let it go, live life be thankful to have met her take that relationship learn, and live...


    "tis is better to have loved and lost then to spend your life with a psycho"
    kieranwong's Avatar
    kieranwong Posts: 38, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Feb 19, 2008, 01:45 AM
    You must really accept the fact that it's over. Time will always do it's thing - the reason why the feelign still lingers after 8 months is you're still hoping she'll come back.

    Also, if she doesn't want to be with you, she's obviously not worth your time, and what you had probably wasn't all that special. Sorry, but we all have to face this sooner or later.
    plumberman's Avatar
    plumberman Posts: 56, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Feb 19, 2008, 03:33 AM
    Time will heal all your wounds... Trust me one day you will wake up and know that you have to move on.
    DMBacoustic's Avatar
    DMBacoustic Posts: 65, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Feb 19, 2008, 08:47 AM
    I have this fear in me that I wont meet anyone that I will love like I loved her.

    And before her you probably never thought that you would meet a nice girl. When we all say the same things about moving on trust us, we've all been there. When me and my girl broke up after 2 years I was in your same mindset for a while. I always thought no other girls would have the same qualities.

    Turns out after I stepped outside my situation and knew it was time to move on, I started realizing not only did other girls have those qualities, but they were better.

    It takes time and who knows it could take another 8 months, but sooner or later you'll go from waking up and going to sleep thinking about her, to just going to sleep thinking about her, to thinking about her passively throughout the day. And then one day you'll just know that you've moved on. In the mean time just get yourself together, it will help speed the process up.

    Once you start putting yourself first and making yourself happy, everything will fall into place. And once that happens you'll start to see there are other girls out there.
    royweins's Avatar
    royweins Posts: 24, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Feb 19, 2008, 09:37 AM
    Hey guys

    Thanks a lot for our help, I couldn't imagine so many people will help me!

    I guess I just have to give it more time than.
    I thought I was crazy still being down after 8 months but I guess I need more time...

    It's just soooo hard sometimes that I'm going crazy
    DMBacoustic's Avatar
    DMBacoustic Posts: 65, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Feb 19, 2008, 09:40 AM
    I know for me I had to go crazy before I got better. In between I was fine then kind of crazy, fine then kind of crazy, and then I just kind of lost it for a little bit there and broke down mentally. But after that I started healing and it just felt right. You'll reach that point eventually.
    royweins's Avatar
    royweins Posts: 24, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Feb 19, 2008, 09:45 AM
    I sure hope so...

    I guess she will never how much she hurt me... to bad. She got out of it pretty easy I think...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #10

    Feb 19, 2008, 10:55 AM
    As you can see for yourself, we have all gone through that painful break up, and felt exactly as you do. You will get better with time, so just be happy with who you are. Click on the links in my signature, and let me know if they help, or fit your situation. Best Luck.
    DMBacoustic's Avatar
    DMBacoustic Posts: 65, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Feb 19, 2008, 11:01 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by royweins
    I sure hope so...

    I guess she will never how much she hurt me... to bad. she got out of it pretty easy I think...
    First mistake.

    It sounds like you're feeling sorry for yourself.

    We all make that mistake of being that person who just sits around moping and thinking about if they know how much they hurt us.

    The reality is you will look back on this situation very soon and be thankful that it happened, as odd and wrong as that sounds. It will teach you what you deserve and what you don't. You need to look back and try to find out why this relationship went wrong, on both ends. And that will help you with your future relationships.

    Don't try and think of yourself as a victim. Experience is what happens when you don't get what you want. We all go through it like I said, and believe it or not in the end this is good for you.

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