[Coy Campbell]

Oka I will check them out I will be right back

[Coy Campbell]

Well to tell you the truth I am seaching for my mother because I feel empty inside. I want to know what happen? Why me? Who are the others? I know they were with us in the beginning and they separated us? I need to know who she is so I can finally figure out what is missing in my life. I feel that she is the one missing. That she is what I want to know. Who I came out like was I a crack baby like my adoptive parents say I was? Why is it that I have the dreams that one I am going to see her? Who did I come out like? Why I believe she is still alive? I need to know these answers so that I can complete the puzzle that has been missing in my life.

[Sand Daddy]

I completely understand your plight. You have to understand a few simple things first. It is going to take a significant amount of hard work to track them down, and that's not even the difficult part. The hard part here is preparing yourself for the reality that they may not want to be found or worse. I pray that this is not the case, for all you know she is looking for you too, but you have to be prepared none the less.

I will help keep this thread alive to help you in your search. I am also confident that the other members will also join in to assist you, but this is going to require a great deal of personal effort on your part.

[Sand Daddy]

I know this may sound silly, but you can try posting an ad on Craig's list in every major city. You never know, she might respond.

[Coy Campbell]

Thanks for the support and I will take your words in consideration. I am ready to take what it is that is thrown at me. If she doesn't want to meet me then that is a chapter in my life I will have no choice but to close. I want to know who I am but if that question can not be answered by my birth mom then I will look and find me somewhere else. The only hard thing with that is my questions will go unanswered and it will hurt me a little but I put my part to search and find the answers but if what I am looking for doesn't want to be found, then I can't do anything else. Thanks for the help and I pray that I do find her. Do not give up on me and this research because I do not plan to give up. Thanks for the support

[Sand Daddy]

Well it seems like your mind and heart is geared in the right direction, I will keep digging for some useful information in the mean time. Any other specific information about your past you feel comfortable sharing will help.

Just don't be passing out personal info that can lead to identity theft!

I personally don't know what the word quit means... I might have to look it up in the Dictionary for a refresher! Lol

[Coy Campbell]

This is what I wrote on the Craiglist:

I am an 18 year old female in search of my Biological mother. I have been in foster care since birth (or so I am told). My hair color is dark brown, I am light skin, I am Puerto Rican (as far as I know). I was raised in Puerto Rico as well in miami. I was in a foster home called Children Home Society and another one called Hands in Action. I have a sister as well and she is Puerto Rican (as far as we know) she as well as me are mixed with another race.

I am looking for my mom to know more about me and who I am. If you are out there and you really do not care to meet me its oka all I ask is that you please answer some questions. I need to close this chapter in my life but I need some answers. No I do not need anything all I am asking is answers to close the chapter in my life that has been hurting me for a long time.

So please if you are out there contact me. I will be waiting for you as well looking for you.




This is the most I can give out on computer and this may help you a little bit. Thanks

[Sand Daddy]

That's a good start. You may have to post that ad in several cities. Additionally, you may have to keep reposting on a regular basis to keep the ad on top of the stack. I will cross my fingers and say some prayers for you! Let me know how it goes! If I find other resources, I will send them your way.

[Coy Campbell]

Oka thanks, But one question how do I put it in all the cities do I have to wait some time or can I post all at once

[Sand Daddy]

Good question, I haven't used it in awhile... I want to say you have to wait, but you can try and contact Craig's List to see if they can assist you in listing in all cities.

[Coy Campbell]

Okay thanks for all that you have done and I will keep you posted as well.

[Fr_Chuck]

You are not going to like my opinion, but perhaps you should look into counseling, there are many experienced people who work with adopted people, to help them find and be happy with who they are, and understand there is nothing missing, that they had a wonderful life, or at least had the best life they could at this point. And to help them understand that the real parent is the person who raised you, not a sperm and egg donor years ago. The person here to bandage a cut, the person at your school plays, that is the parent.

A good couselor can help you find peace within yourself.

[Coy Campbell]

I must say they did not raise me they left my grandfather to raise me. But I must admit I understand what you are saying. Butto tell the truth what good would counseling do when you need questions.

P.S. Most people do adoprting for the money they receive every month

[Synnen]

I must say they did not raise me they left my grandfather to raise me. But i must admit i understand what you are saying. Butto tell the truth what good would counseling do when you need questions.

P.S. Most people do adoprting for the money they recieve every month

Most people adopt because they want to raise a child.

A FEW people raise foster children for the money they get every month.

I'm a birthmom. I hear from my daughter's family every few months how grateful they are to be raising my/their daughter.

You probably DO need some counseling. A lot of people in the adoption triad do at some point.

Posting on Craigslist, by the way, is not going to get the attention that posting on an adoption forum would. Plus, your ad doesn't have anywhere NEAR enough information in it.

You need to get a hold of your adoption papers and/or birth certificate. You need to find out your mother's name, if possible. You also need to see if you can get court records for your case, if you were taken as an infant into the foster care system.

If you are truly that desperate for answers, there are several pay sites that will help you search.

[Fr_Chuck]

Now I don't have a problem with you looking for you mom, it is the part where you are missing something.

Sometimes what you find is not what you want as part of your life.
For everyone of the "Oprah" type of reunions, I wold guess there are two where the birth parent curses, spits at, tells them they wish they had a abortion, gets a restraining order against them, * get the idea**
So when the searcher who is expecting a loving person who missed them, and find a drunk, or a drug addict or a hooker or find they were a product of rape, or

Now if you understand the risk, are just nosey and willing to accept what you find, then finding some history of your past can be OK. But I have counseled untold number of people who went and searched and found the worst.

[Coy Campbell]

To being with they already told me that my biological mother was a drug addict. And maybe it was because of drugs that she gave me up. I am not really expecting a reunion that is suppose to leave me feeling good. All I am saying is that I just want some answers rather I like the answers or not. Humans make mistakes and maybe hers was a mistake. I do not plan to judge my biological mother for her mistakes. Answers is all I want. Counseling doesn't do anything I have already done that.

[Sand Daddy]

GovernmentRegistry.org - Public Records Online

Give this website a try...

[Synnen]

Counseling didn't work, huh?

How long did you go to counseling? Did you see a counselor specializing in adoption issues?

I've been going to counseling, off and on, for 15 years to deal with adoption---and I'm the one that CHOSE adoption.

If you go into counseling looking for them to fix it for you, well of course it's not going to work. What counseling does is help you learn to either fix it yourself, or at least learn to deal with it.

[Sand Daddy]

With all do respect to those that are pro counseling, it's not for everyone. Counseling certainly has it's place, but every now and again the mind just needs answers for there to be closure. It is reasonable for her to want the specifics surrounding her situation.

[Synnen]

I'm not saying it's not reasonable for her to want answers.

I've given several ways for her to search for them, as well.

I'm just pointing out that talking to someone about the search would probably be helpful for her.