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JRM1969 · Feb 9, 2008, 04:15 PM

My ex & I have been broken up for a couple of months now. I recently sent him an email, asking if we can get together for a drink and talk. He agreed, but after he gets back from his vacation. Is there a chance of us getting back together ? :confused:

imation · Feb 9, 2008, 05:17 PM

Ahh I suppose there is a chance, but you have to decide if that is what you really want. In the first 6 months of being single people usually hate their ex, or put them on a pedestal wishing they could be together again. It's a natural feeling that just happens to come with breaking up. You need to really think and decide if you really want it or if your mind is just playing tricks on you because it doesn't want to face forgetting him.

Cheshire2008 · Feb 9, 2008, 07:29 PM

Hmmmm Who broke up with who and why?
Why would you want to get back together?
Have you been to counseling of any kind?
I agree imation You might just be hurting.
I think you need to look into yourself and write down the pros and the cons here
See which side of the list is longer and be honest with yourself.

JRM1969 · Feb 9, 2008, 07:50 PM

Originally Posted by Cheshire2008

Hmmmm Who broke up with who and why?
Why would you want to get back together?
Have you been to counseling of any kind?
I agree imation You might just be hurting.
I think you need to look into yourself and write down the pros and the cons here
See which side of the list is longer and be honest with yourself.

He broke up with me. After I was dishonest with him. We initially talked and worked through it, but a week later, he wanted to end the relationship completely. That was in December. In January I saw him out, and I asked if we could talk, and he said, lets give it some time. The rest of January was no contact, then just last week I sent him an email, apologizing and asked if we could get together. To my surprise, he said yes, but after he gets back from his trip.

Cheshire2008 · Feb 9, 2008, 08:00 PM

As long as you do not have a lot od baggage this could work. I strongly believe in counciling it can help bring things out that need to be discussed. Comunication is really the key to the whole relationship. While he is gone why don't you work on what you want
Write down on a paper what you want in
A partner
In a lover
Out of life
In a relationship
See if he fits in your future..
You said you were dishonest Trust is a deal breaker in any relationship
It brings with it a sense of security.
You will have to work to bring that back to the relationship.
Talking is the beginning if you do not get back together you will at least have some closure.
Good luck

talaniman · Feb 9, 2008, 08:07 PM

You said you were dishonest Trust is a deal breaker in any relationship

I would like more details on this issue, if possible. There is always a chance in a relationship, if both partners are willing to work together. My concern is your own healing, to be honest with you. How have you been spending your single life, for the last two months??

JRM1969 · Feb 9, 2008, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I would like more details on this issue, if possible. There is always a chance in a relationship, if both partners are willing to work together. My concern is your own healing, to be honest with you. How have you been spending your single life, for the last two months???

Thanks for your insite. The past couple of months, I have been thinking about him. Thinking of ways to get it better again. I really care for him, and I believe that he cares for me. The communication is picking back up, but very slowly. If and when we do get together and talk, what advise do you give to "not over do it". To show that attractive side again ? ;)

Cheshire2008 · Feb 9, 2008, 08:25 PM

How about be honest and humble and regretfull.

What is the attractive side?? This sounds scary.

JRM1969 · Feb 9, 2008, 08:36 PM

Originally Posted by Cheshire2008

How about be honest and humble and regretfull.

What is the attractive side??? this sounds scary.

I don't understand.? What I meant was, I don't want to show a needy, desperate, side. I want to go into this conversation with the right moves.

talaniman · Feb 9, 2008, 08:53 PM

What I meant was, what have you been doing for yourself? And what were you dishonest about, that could have caused this break-up, and you are talking to each other right? I honestly need a lot more background into you both, please?

JRM1969 · Feb 10, 2008, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

What I meant was, what have you been doing for yourself?? And what were you dishonest about, that could have caused this break-up, and you are talking to each other right?? I honestly need a lot more background into you both, please?

I was dishonest about an online dating account that I had. We initially worked though it, but he ended the relationship anyway. Honesty is very important to him, and rightfully so. Over the holidays we only talked a handful of times. He is slowly coming around by agreeing to get together in a few weeks. Im just hoping to get back together, but I want to do it the right way. The healthy way.

s_cianci · Feb 10, 2008, 10:09 AM

I wouldn't bank on it. Remember, you broke up for a reason. It's not likely that whatever issues drove you apart have just magically resolved themselves.

talaniman · Feb 10, 2008, 10:54 AM

He is talking okay. The thing is when there are trust issues he may forgive, but never forget. Anything you do will be under a scrutiny you can't believe, so be aware of your actions at all times. All you can do is reassure him, as you have already apologised. I can only hope the best for you, and hope you get what you want. Much luck.

Brandino747 · Feb 10, 2008, 11:37 AM

There is no guaruntee... BUT

When you see him make sure you look absolutley fabulous, have a really positive attitude (not to to positive or he'll see right through you), and make it seem like your okay without him.

This should, if he is interested, turn him into wanting you again.

ForeverZero · Feb 10, 2008, 12:16 PM

There's always a chance you can get back together with your ex. It all depends on how much went wrong and how much has changed since then. My ex dumped me a year and change ago and I'm still finding things wrong with how I treated her and working on them for myself, well, actually, it's for that totally hot bartender who works on saturdays. (she doesn't know she loves me, but she will... soon... ). Anyway, give it time, try not to make things happen and do your best to let them.

caldwell · Oct 20, 2008, 06:03 PM

Relationships are a gamble. Breakups are just that... "A break" . Maybe it will work out but giving someone space usually makes the other person realize what they lost. If they don't surface it's because YOU are going to meet someone way better... Be strong.