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bbros · Feb 9, 2008, 09:09 AM

I'm 16 just found out I'm 6 weeks pregnant and I don't know what to d0.. should I tell my mom hopeing she will understand and help me tell my dad and hope they don't kick me out or should I try to get money to have an abortion... side note my boyfriend wants the baby.. but my parentz don't like him.. :confused: :(

MasuBhat · Feb 9, 2008, 09:16 AM

I think you should talk with your parents about this..!

It's a risk to take but it's worth it!

bbros · Feb 9, 2008, 09:52 AM

Thanks 4 da help but itz just I don't have a good relationship with ma parentz and I noe I'm to young.. I just don't noe

wewed100606 · Feb 9, 2008, 10:04 AM

Coming from someone who has been in a similar situation, you should try to talk to everyone involved. I would try to sit down with your parents, the babies father, and his parents. Basically, anyone who will have to be involved in this child's life should you decide to have it. This is going to be nerve wracking and very difficult, but it really needs to be done... especially if you are going to keep the baby. Obviousley there are options, abortion, adoption, keeping the child, but everyone of these options carries a distinct set of consequences, mentally, physically, and financially. It is best to hear everyone's point of view and there true feelings about things. Ultimately, it is going to be a decision you have to make, on your own, and then live with that decision for the rest of your life. I will tell you one thing is for certain, keeping the baby is a huge responsibility that I am sure neither you or the babies father are fully able to comprehend right now. There is a lot of reality checks that need to happen and a lot of preparation to be made for a new child. It isn't just adding a baby to your life... IT IS A COMPLETE LIFE AND LIFESTYLE CHANGE.

If you aren't certain about your decision now, and need more time, I would suggest carrying the baby to term and taking the time necessary to decide on adoption or keeping the child. I wish you the best of luck... just be sure when serious questions and decisions like this arise in life, you take emotion away from the decision making process. Don't hinge your future on present emotion.

Hope I helped... GOOD LUCK :-)

bbros · Feb 9, 2008, 10:20 AM

.. w0w thanks I agree with what you said but about my boyfriend parentz he is 24 and his mother doesn't realli care I mean I met her and everythin but like they not getting along right now.. I know its a lot of responablity to have a child specially since ma boyfriend nor I work.. and this wouldn't be his first child he also has a baby girl who just turned 1 in dec

wewed100606 · Feb 9, 2008, 10:33 AM

Originally Posted by bbros

..w0w thanx i agree with wat u said but bout my boyfriend parentz he is 24 and his mother doesnt realli care i mean i met her and everythin but like they not gettin along right now..i know its alot of responablity to have a child specially since ma boyfriend nor i work..and this wouldnt be his first child he also has a baby gurl who just turned 1 in dec

I am not being judgemental or anything, but if he has one child already and is not working... how is he supporting her?

You really need to remember that a child isn't something you can just try out and if you don't like it, or can't handle it you get rid of it. This is a life long decision. There is absolutely NO SHAME in admitting that you are not ready to be a mother to a child. The world would be a lot better place for a lot of children IF THEIR MOTHERS WERE ABLE TO ADMIT THAT.

Remember that you are not just making a decision for yourself, but you are making one for a child who has no choice, but to trust in you that you are making the right decision.

... not to say you are a liar or anything along those lines, but you really... really... HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH RESPONSIBILITY A CHILD IS. It isn't like baby sitting. It isn't like hanging out with your cousins. That child is there, and it comes before you always.

Do what is best for the child. Whatever that decision is... is the best for you and everyone else involved too :-)

bbros · Feb 9, 2008, 10:37 AM

Your right I don't know... but I'm just afraid of what my parentz would say... I mean I don't want to keep it for the simple fact that I know I won't be able to provide everythin that they would need...

Synnen · Feb 9, 2008, 10:39 AM

What the HELL is a 24 year old doing with a 16 year old?

YES you should tell your parents. Believe me, I bet your mom already guesses. MY mom knew a long time before I told her, and not telling her made for a bigger argument than being pregnant did.

Your boyfriend wants you to keep the baby, hmmm? Ask him how HE is going to support the child while you finish school. 24 and no job = loser, imo.

Honey... you've got a hard decision ahead of you, and only YOU can make that decision. However---your parents love you, even if you're not close to them. Getting advice from people who love you is a good thing, and they can help emotionally support you as you're going through all of this. It's YOUR decision though. Only YOU can make it.

PS--depending on where you live, your boyfriend may be looking at some jail time for this.

bbros · Feb 9, 2008, 10:53 AM

My parents know his age... they met him and everythin... I just don't want to be kick out or something like that

wewed100606 · Feb 9, 2008, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by bbros

my parents know his age...they met him and everythin... i just dont wanna b kick out or something like that

Unless your parents are evil they will not kick you out if they see you making a good decision. This whole process is going to make you wise beyond your years and I really hope that all of this makes you smarter about the consequences of sex. Sex is a great thing to share, but it was created by nature for more than pleasure.

You can play with fire, but you need to respect its powers.

Just keep your chin-up and know that no one matter more than you. Without you the baby wouldn't be and you are the only person you need to wake up everyday and answer to... regardless of what happens.

If you go through this and be strong and do what is right... I think you will prepare yourself for a wonderful life. You are going to learn a lot about yourself. LEARN FROM IT.

I really wish you the best... and seriously... I don't know him... but you need to lose the BF. An 8 year age gap at this point in life is ridiculous and it sounds like he isn't a real godsend by any means. I know you might like him, but trust me... his ways are going to rub off on you and lead you nowhere good. Just ask yourself if you would be happy with his life at his age, or do you want something more. Don't let him drag you down... you have a lot of decisions still to be made about your whole life... he seams to have already made his.

Love yourself. Learn from this!

bbros · Feb 9, 2008, 11:27 AM

I agree with you sometimes I want to break up with him but I feel like I'm in to deep with him...

wewed100606 · Feb 9, 2008, 11:32 AM

Does that really sound like a reason to you? You are 16... when I was 16 I said I was going to be single until I got married at 40... I am married to the love of my life and have two perfect kids and I am 25. Things change... your life has barely started... just end the relationship and learn from it. What is the worst thing that could happen?

bbros · Feb 9, 2008, 11:37 AM

How can I end the relationship if I'm pregnant... I can't go threw this alone... n he says he love me... I think I love him 2.. I'm just so confused I mean it is possible for the relationship to work with the age difference

wewed100606 · Feb 9, 2008, 11:50 AM

Sweetheart... you got a lot on your plate right now. You do what you feel is best, but just know that everyone on here gives you the best advice they can from experience. You also should look very closely at why your parents don't approve of him. Us as children are often quick to discount the advice of our parents because it is not what we want to hear, but the one thing you do know, without a doubt, is that your parents are the two people that WILL ALWAYS have your best interests in mind. Could they be wrong... sure! But is isn't as likely as them being right. You have friends and family to help you through this. You can wait until later to end the relationship if you want. I am just saying ABSOLUTLEY DO NOT let this man who has not learned from his mistakes and cannot even provide for himself talk you into keeping this child because HE WANTS TO KEEP IT. You know damn well he isn't going to be working two jobs to pay for diapers and making bottles at 3 am. Once again, I don't know him, and I am not judging, but I can assume by what you say about him now and obviously his past action that he definitely lacks the responsibility of a good parent.

And just another way to look at something. If you were 24 would you date a 16 year old? If you were 24 and met a guy and then found out he was dating a 16 year old what would you think? There is nothing a 16 year old can give a 24 year old, but one thing... and by the situation you are in, you have obviously already given him that. Stop having sex with him, all forms, for a few months... see how much he loves you then.

Stop and think with your head... not your heart... or your vagina.

bbros · Feb 9, 2008, 11:58 AM

Yea I understand everythin you saying and I'm all for that I guess I just realli need to thik long and hard about what imma make out of this... and what imma do thanks for your advice itz been real helpful.. I'm actually tired and going to rest for a little I'm also a bit stress thanks

wewed100606 · Feb 9, 2008, 12:10 PM

Take care of yourself.

babeej · Feb 11, 2008, 12:58 AM

Okay, the very first thing that you need to do is talk to your parents. Then you need to look deep deep down and ask yourself, without anyone's opinion, what it is that you want. I got pregnant when I was 16, I found out too late to do anything either than adoption or keeping him. I know that your sooo scared rite now, but if your parents really love you, then they will support you. When I told my parents, they were in complete shock. My mom didn't speak or look at me for a week, and my dad gave me the biggest hug and told me that everything would be okay. Then my mom sucked it up and realized that no matter how she's feels about the situation, this baby had a due date and things needed to be dealt with. I think the fear of what people will do or say prevents us from doing what our hearts tell us to do. You need to have a plan first. You know that your boyfriend wants to keep it, but honestly, do you? This is the biggest decision you will ever make. Think about it carefully. I'm not suggesting abortion as the only answer, but if you do want to keep it, your going to go through a lot in the next few months. Your parents and his parents are not the only ones that are going to know. You are still in high school, what about your education? My son is 5 years old now and I couldn't imagine my life before him. But this is a decision that is going to be hanging over your head for the rest of your life. Please think carefully. When my son graduates high school I will be 34. And sweetheart, so will you. Is your boyfriend the one you want to be with forever? Is he going to be able to support you and your baby? Your parents will help you if that's the road you choose, remember they cannot make that decision for you, it is entirely yours, but you cannot rely upon them or your boyfriend forever. I know that everything will work out for you in the end. I hope you make the decision that is rite for you in your heart. And once you have made that decision, no matter what it is, don't let anyone tell you or force you differently. Otherwise you will forever regret no making the right decision, the one your heart told you to make.

Michelle Miller · Feb 14, 2008, 06:08 AM

Originally Posted by bbros

im 16 just found out im 6 weeks pregnant and i dont know wat to d0.. should i tell my mom hopeing she will understand and help me tell my dad and hope they dont kick me out or should i try to get money to have an abortion...side note my boyfriend wants the baby..but my parentz dont like him.. :confused: :(

Hi,

I think you should tell your parents.

Michelle

JaiBlaze · Feb 20, 2008, 06:38 PM

I went through this same thing, fortunately I was working at the time and still am. There is no question about it, one has to get a job. Children are beautiful, and they do take time and money for food and diapers and such. Communication is the major key here, everyone needs to be aware and on the same page about what's going to happen exactly. Your boyfriend is a man, and as such he needs to step up and do the right thing. I was 24 myself when my son was born, he's 4 now and I've never regretted any of my decisions... I am a single father due to certain issues, but it's a beautiful life with a child. Responsibility and patience is the way to everything. I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck.

J.

bbros · Feb 2, 2009, 09:49 PM

so i dated my ex boyfriend for a yr..but broke up with him because i felt i was putting more into it den him..i loved him then n love him even more now...we are super close friends known each other for 3 yrs now..so he just started goin out with this gurl n says dat he loves her but they only have 3 months goin out...WHAT SHOULD I DO!! I spend day n nite thinkin bout him..and we still mess so i know he doesnt love his gurl like dat... itz hard for me to let him go...should i? or should i keep fighting for his love?:confused: