[JohnDoe200Three]

OK well this really isn't a normal scenario although having a girlfriend who is a stripper isn't normal to begin with. Anyway it makes it harder for me since I am in the military. Before I start we are both in our early 20's. I come back from being away for a 6 month deployment only to find out my girlfriend started stripping. Right now there is so much going through my head I don't even know where to begin and can't even fathom what I should do right now. Anyway here goes. Obviously she was waiting for me once I got back and everything seemed just fine. We went out to dinner and after that to a bar to play some pool and get a few drinks. While we were sitting there between a game of pool she says she needs to tell me something. Instantly I am worried in what she is about to say. So she says it. "I am stripping now". At first she was waitressing in there ad then when she needed the money to support her son and debt she started stripping. Now she's been doing it for about 2 months. I really didn't know how to respond so I sat there in aw for about a half hour without saying a word. Then we left. About two days later. I told her how I felt and that I don't think id be able to handle that. She started crying and eventually told me that she would quit. Now it is two days later and I asked her if she was serious about quitting. Now she says after she thought about it more she isn't going to quit. Not for anybody including myself. She stripped for a little while in the past which I knew about and quit for her ex husband and now regrets that seeing where it left her. So now she is in debt because of him and has a son who is very young. Being in a military town makes it all that much harder seeing that guys I know go to the stripclubs here regularly and now they will see her there. While we talked about everything again today she is very clear that she won't quit for anyone including me and she doesn't really know when she will quit even if she gets rid of her debt. She tells me she enjoys what she does and makes it seem like it isn't only about the money although she believe there isn't another job out there right now that she could get in order to pay off her debt and support her son. She thinks I'm selfish for wanting her to quit, but I don't think that's the case at all. I told her personally I think it is degrading and such but she disagrees. So then I asked if her parents knew and she said no and that she doesn't plan on telling them. Obviously I am not going to say anything to my parent although id like to ask them for advice but am worried what they will think of her and myself if they found out. I like her and care about her a lot and am really confused on what to do. There are so many emotions I am feeling right now. Im 99% sure that she is honest and faithful in the cheating aspect so I am not concerned about that. I just don't know if I could handle it if he planned on trying to make a career of something like this. Part of me wants to breakup because of her job but my mind and heart don't want to. Any advice and comments would be appreciated.

[Fr_Chuck]

Let me see, her working at the strip club as a waitress was OK,

You going with your friends to watch someone else's girl friend is OK,

You are not paying her debts for her,

So while I may not approve of strip clubs I have known dozens of girls who worked as strippers to pay off college debts, work while in college and to earn money to buy a home.

I only serious doubt is that she is actually paying her debts off but most likely learning to live at a higher life style where it will be harder in the future to quit.

And most strippers are not having sex with anyone from the clubs, ( at least at the better clubs)

But it is a easy, if you can not stand dating a stripper, and she is a stripper, break up and find someone else,

[talaniman]

Since your not paying her bills, its not your business, and if you can't handle what she does for a living, then you have your option to leave her alone. Sounds as most of the problem is, what you think others will say. The only fact is she gave you a chance, and waited after 6 months, so maybe you should give her the same chance she gave U.Keep your mind open, and see where your loyalty really lies.

[stormewhether]

I agree. I myself was a dancer and mother of two. I did it because like your girlfriend, I was a mother and a father. It's not easy being a single mom so any chance you get to spend time with your kids while they're awake and work while they sleep is not an opportunity to pass up. I think she should have definitely told you when she made the decision to start dancing again, and not two months later. Oh and another thing, I never recommend dating while you dance. Just my opinion but no matter who, there are jealousy issues, trust issues and all sorts of problems. Hang out in a strip club dressing room and you'll see what I mean. Good luck with it all.

[Homegirl 50]

You two are not on the same page. She wants to strip, you are uncomforable about it. You're not married to her so you have no right to ask her to stop and she does not care enough about you to give it up. IMO, you should leave her alone.
I would imagine it would be hard for a man to know his woman is stripping and showing herself to other men.