[xmarksthespot]

I went out with this girl for a month and after that, she told me her feelings for me weren't as strong as before and we decided to stay friends, I know somewhere inside her, she still kind of likes me. This girl really means a lot to me, and it's killing me to see her alone. Especially when I think of the times we spent together.

We went out from December 4th 2008 until January 17th 2008, I'm thinking of asking her out again on Valentine's day, but I need to make her fall in love with me again, there's 2 weeks left until Valentine's day and I have to make the most out of it to make sure she says "yes" when I ask her.

I need to know how to make her fall for me again..

Things you should know:
-we're close friends, even after she broke up we decided to "move on" and stay good friends.
-i can talk to her about anything and she can talk to be about anything.
-we're both 17 years old.
-we go to the same high-school.
-she knows I still love her and would want to be with her.
-i see this girl every single day of school and talk to her at school on msn and on the phone.

There isn't much time left for me to get this sorted out.
11 more days, to be exact.

People please help me, I haven't been able to sleep well since she broke up.

[tickle]

I guess she knows her own heart, and she has already told you you aren't in it. I suggest you just move on, or try and keep the platonic end of it going. In other words stay, just friends.

[talaniman]

There is no winning strategy, or magic potent, for making someone fall back in love, and she probably wasn't that much in love, in the first place, since she changed her mind pretty fast. Get some sleep, and move on with your life .

[ISneezeFunny]

I'd hate to say this, but... love... after a month? Ehhhh... I don't see it.

Also, did you tell her you loved her?

[xmarksthespot]

Thanks for the replies but this isn't helping me, even if there's a slim chance I need it, and I know there's hope, someone please help me out

[tickle]

I really don't know what you want us to say, xmark. There is no possible way we could know her personality OR yours to call this shot and help you out. There is no crystal ball involved. This is an issue between the two of you. You alone know her so put on your thinking cap and JUST DO IT. Good luck :)

[ISneezeFunny]

We are helping you... by telling you from our own experiences.

1. I don't believe you can "love" someone after a month of dating. Sorry.

2. you can't "make" someone do anything. At all.

3. if she's saying, "yeah, I'm not feeling it as much as you are"... that's it. You can be the best boyfriend in the world, but if she's not feeling it, she's not feeling it.

If you ask her out on v-day, two things can happen.

1. she will say YES. You two will go out... and from there, who knows?

2. she will say NO, and this will push her a bit further, and you will be more upset.

As harsh as people on this forum are, it's because they've been through it too...

[JBeaucaire]

Hey, I know this girl well. The best way to have her fall in love with you is to hop on one foot and recite Rod McKuen poems to her in the cafeteria.

Or, skywriting.. yeah, she loves skywriting.

Wait, are we talking about the same girl?

Well I know YOU really well, so I say use your expertise in Thermal Dynamics to impress her, or your high diving skill, that she should love!!

Oh, wait, you don't know those things? I thought I knew you.

You see the point I'm making? No one on this forum is clairvoyant about you or this girl. There is no magic wand answer. You should try to glean what help you can from the responses people give, they're real life helps.

Since every relationship is a live dynamic, the only ones who will ever know are you and her. You're even a different person slightly for each person you'll ever date.

NOW - My actual suggestion: Get that Feb 14th date out of your mind. It's screwing with you.

Whatever worked for your relationship the first time around... go do/be more of that. Whatever you two went through that helped break you up... go do/be less of that. Learn. Calmly. Nothing is more unattractive to a girl than a "desperate" guy.

If you two end up back together a few months from now, have your own special Valentine's Day then.

[life1973happened]

I know this is hard. It's even worse when we love someone so unconditionally you need that in return. You stay awake wondering what you did, what you should have done, what you didn't do. However, as much as you want to make it happen you cannot change her heart. As her closest friend why would you want to? Learn to let love go and cherish her as one of your dearest friends.

I know this is painful advice we all give you but they are all right. We can't hand you a love potion #9 (okay old timers joke, had to throw it in there)

You will be fine and be grateful you are young. If you love her the way you say you do, learn to let her go. If you are meant to be you will connect in that way again. When you do you will be glad you waited for her instead of forcing her. You can learn a lot from a loss.

I know I did..

Good luck to you and I'm sorry this advice is so hard for you to accept. We also understand that feeling.

[talaniman]

Unless you learn to cope with your own feelings, and take NO, for an answer, you will have all kinds of problems later, as you can't MAKE someone do what you want. No one can, so let it go.

[HistorianChick]

Ask her.

Be ready for her to say, "Yes, I love you and I can't live without you."

AND

Be ready for rejection.

Set yourself up for both, but accept the answer you get.

Shower her with sweet-nothingness if she lets you.

Move on if she rejects you.

Bottom line: This girl, no matter how much of an angel-in-a-nifty-package she is, is not the only girl-with-wings in the world. If she's not your angel, go out and find the girl that is. :)

[xmarksthespot]

Thanks for the commments,

Can someone please at least tell me how to flirt with a girl in my situtation..

[life1973happened]

You don't need any ideas on how to flirt. Do you really not see it? You are already a good friend. What you don't know, as you do not have age behind you yet, girls love their best friends, it just takes a little longer for them to realize to what degree.

It may or may not happen. However, you don't need tips on how to flirt. Be yourself as you already did what most guys will never be able to do and that is to get the honor of being one of her closest friends. You have to try to stop forcing it, let it happen on it's own, in it's own way, in it's own time. Trying to fit and be somebody your not will only backfire.

Trust that you are a wonderful person, in her time she will see that for what it's worth. Allow yourself to be young and carefree. Don't try to find your, 'winning lottery ticket for life', at such a young age.

You are only 17 years old. You have so much to do. College is still ahead of you. Once you have completed at least 2 walk of shames, woke up next a really ugly person completely sober, moved out of your parents house and graduated from college, you don't need to worry so much about love. Trust me child, you don't.

Do you realize so many of us wish we were 17 years old again? Trust us old-timers, we know. We know from experience love at 17 years old, though important, is not that important. Be yourself and stop trying so hard. I promise you things will happen the way they were meant to happen. My guess is that one day you will be grateful your prayers were not answered, this might be one of them.

I think back to my first boyfriend and thank God those prayers were not answered. I was sure I loved him, certain he was my, 'happy ever after.' Little did I know 10 years later he was nothing more than a young love, a little crush, and it was good for the 19 year old girl I was then, not the woman I grew to be.

Love is funny like that. It hits you when you least expect it and lingers around long after you wish it wouldn't. That is one of the joys of life you will someday see a lot more clear than you do now, and you what? That's okay, trust me...

[ISneezeFunny]

Same thing for me.

I thought I was in love when I was 16, 18, then again at 20. Right now, I'm thinking the 20 one was really my only real "love"... but then again, who knows, maybe I'll change my mind in about 5 years. The 16 and 18... was just a little crush... heavy infatuation...

There's no manual on how to flirt (actually, there are a LOT of books on how to flirt... but c'mon... women aren't cars... you can't follow a manual and expect it to work all the time).

Be yourself. I know it sounds cliché, and you're thinking, "seriously dude...I AM myself and it doesn't work!" but to be honest with you, it will work. Just give it time. Once you're comfortable with yourself, you'll have more women than you know what to do with.

In accordance with life1973happened, college... is crazy. Luckily, I haven't done a walk of shame... (I usually stay at my place... so yeah. Heh). Def woke up next to an uggo... went through her purse looking for some sort of ID... moved out of my parent's house... and about to graduate from college. Don't worry about women. They come a'flockin.

[xmarksthespot]

Thanks for all the replies its really helping me, keep it up

[xmarksthespot]

Bump need more advice

[R0cKin_t33N]

If you really can not move on... than try to make her see the man that she's missing out on... change, make yourself seem too good to be true... make yourself more "Available". She knows that you like her so what's stoping her from getting jelious when you make a move on another girl... I really hope that this advice helps you and makes you also open your eyes to the fact that LOVE suckz and trust me Valentines is just an excuse to make people feel special... GUD LUCK

[raggablue]

Valentines day is statistically the day with the highest divorce and break-ups.
She might feel more pressure and be reluctant to commit to anything

[tinkerbell1194]

I think you should move on because chances are she did, even if she's not going out wit anyone she could still like someone else. But that's just some advice... u do what your hearts telling you to do.something good could happen or something bad could happen but you'll never know till you find out.

[JBeaucaire]

Let me bring a few things said together with some harsh reality:

• No one here can tell you exactly how to "win" this girl, no magic answer
• Be yourself is the only thing that will work
• Don't push it, don't put deadlines on it like Feb 14

And to be honest, being yourself may not work, but it's the only thing that WILL. If it doesn't, then you two won't end up together, and that's a good thing. You're going to like a LOT of people (and a lot will like you) that wouldn't really make a good match. In each case, just be the best you, cause when you DO end up in a mutual "like" scenario, it's already going to be difficult enough to make it work.

Enjoy the feelings you have for her, even let her know playfully now and again if appropriate situations present themselves, but in either case, don't let it get you down. It's great that you feel things deeply, it's NOT good when you want to "make" things happen. That can lead to bad behaviors on many, many fronts in an actual developed relationship where you again try to "make" the person give you your way.

Got to keep it natural.