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new2relation · Jan 30, 2008, 10:02 AM

Well first off, this is my first relationship. Its going very well, except for the fact of my nagging worries. Seems all I do is dwell on the worries, I know in my heart I love this girl, so I guess Im just confused.

These worries didn't exist when we first starting dating, it right after the I love you's came out. She makes me happy, every time I see her, and I know I miss her. The spark is still there. I always treat her good, we hardly ever have spats, and things are going so smoothly, I know should be happy which I am but the worries are just nagging in the back of my head, like screaming to get out.

Are these worries, normal and you just get used to them as time progresses?

talaniman · Jan 30, 2008, 10:05 AM

If your insecure, then worry is normal, but not healthy in a relationship. Work on your issues, and learn how to stop worrying.

TrueFaith · Jan 30, 2008, 10:24 AM

Learn to enjoy it. We can worry about everything in life. Walking talking

Any second something could happen.

Even our sun might blow up to soon.

Its normal for your first relationshisp maybe your just scared because you really feel strong for her and your scared that if it goes south you'll be heart. Well you will be hurt one way or another :)

So you got to enjoy it as much you can

Don't let fear stop you from doing anything

thegirlishurting · Jan 30, 2008, 02:06 PM

What exactly are your worries? I believe its best that you know every one of them so you can sort it out accordingly. What does she do that makes you feel insecure? Know this and discuss it with your girlfriend. She loves you therefore she understands you most.

Fear of losing the one you love is normal. Its an instinct we feel towards people we love but you have to make sure this doesn't effect how you treat your girlfriend. When it becomes too much, you will turn into a clingy and jealous boyfriend. INstead of protecting her, that would actually drive your partner away.

katringette22 · Jan 30, 2008, 08:59 PM

You've done one better then me you got a girlfriend

Simple Asian · Jan 30, 2008, 10:23 PM

well.. I think pretty much every first relationship is the same thing.. you just scared that you will lose her.. so that you always treat her so good always be there with her and be nice...

well... try to lose it up pal... girls don't like that... they like space... and you be nice that good but don't be too nice... it too easy lol well that what girls think

and be there for her when she need but not all the time you have your life and friends deal with your friends... so the girls won't think you needy.. always want to be wit her...

you no.. just be cool.. be yourself.. but slick ^^

new2relation · Jan 30, 2008, 10:51 PM

Yeah think its my biggest worrie of losing her, I miss her when she's away. It's a matter of getting used to knowing I won't lose her, and getting used to her period. Also I'm scared a bit knowing I fell in love and still in love with her. Also scared how well we click, its like we have known each other for years instead of 3 months.

I need to just relax more and continue to be myself. I don't try to be nice all the time. But there are times when I want to take care of her if she's ill, and I want to be part of her life, including work and her friends.

TrueFaith · Jan 31, 2008, 06:21 AM

Just back off a bit from her.

Step away. And let her come to you.
I know its hard with your first love.

But you must not think. That you will have it forever. Becaue that will just lead to pain. Think of it as just fun until something more serious comes out of it

Regards

new2relation · Jan 31, 2008, 07:02 AM

The funny thing is when we first met, we were around each other like 7 days aweek. Through the christmas season. Now she's back to work, and we are seeing each other less, and Im trying to readjust to that.

So we hadn't seen each other for three days, she didn't return my calls so I got worried that it was over. I really overthink everything. I just don't know how to overcome these worries. Slowly my worries get lighter and lighter.

Its almost as if Im knitpicking cause I'm scared.

*shrug* Im so confused half the time hah..

Simple Asian · Feb 1, 2008, 12:01 AM

Originally Posted by new2relation

yeah think its my biggest worrie of losing her, i miss her when shes away. Its a matter of getting used to knowing i wont lose her, and getting used to her period. Also im scared a bit knowing i fell in love and still in love with her. Also scared how well we click, its like we have known each other for years instead of 3 months.

I need to just relax more and continue to be myself. I don't try to be nice all the time. But there are times when I want to take care of her if shes ill, and I want to be part of her life, including work and her friends.

It OK man... I no what you going thought right now... you just want to be with her every second that possible.. and don't want to get away from her... and treating nice... which you think is good... hell everyone no it good...

But no... girls don't like that... you are too nice.. too easy to get and to give,, girls want challenge... they want to play with fire...

Be yourself... and be nice to her.. but not too nice... like I already said... have fun with yourself first.. go hang with your pals... give her space... give you space too... you no...

Simple Asian · Feb 1, 2008, 12:04 AM

Originally Posted by new2relation

The funny thing is when we first met, we were around each other like 7 days aweek. Through the christmas season. Now shes back to work, and we are seeing each other less, and Im trying to readjust to that.

So we hadnt seen each other for three days, she didnt return my calls so i got worried that it was over. I really overthink everything. I just dont know how to overcome these worries. Slowly my worries get lighter and lighter.

Its almost as if Im knitpicking cause im scared.

*shrug* Im so confused half the time hah..

don't worried. . it nothing wrong with it... when a relationship just started?. it fresh.. it new.. that why pplz always be with each other to get to no and to have company with... but then after a while they got bored and start to get away...

the reason she not calling back or seeing you.. is that she want space... and time to think about stuff... it might lead to break up... which happens half of the time.. but look at the bright side... ^^ you are a NICE GUY... there more fishes out there to catch...

ISneezeFunny · Feb 1, 2008, 12:56 AM

Why don't you... find something else to do? Go out with a few friends.. go find a hobby.. play some video games..

You waiting by the phone will make seconds turn into hours.

talaniman · Feb 1, 2008, 07:30 AM

She can be a part of your life not your whole life. You must stay balanced for this to be healthy.

EuRa · Feb 1, 2008, 10:49 AM

You have insecurities. You are afraid of things that are basically out of your control. Since they are out of your control, you shouldn't be worrying about them.

What is it to be insecure? You don't love yourself enough. And because you don't love yourself enough, you search for other things to fill the void, such as a relationship. So the relationship holds more value than it really should, which is unhealthy, and she feels instantly. The pressure she feels forces her to push herself away from you, and you feel it too.

Anyway, because you over-value the relationship, since it means too much to you because it's filling that void, you are more-than-worried that it will end, because if it ends, it's like taking a HUGE PIECE of you away. Then your heart break and pain becomes much larger than it should be. And then the pattern repeats itself over and over.

You need to work on your insecurities, which means you need to learn to love yourself more. If you want me to elaborate, I will.

new2relation · Feb 1, 2008, 10:55 AM

Well I really don't think Im insecure. Denial? No. I'm a chronic overthinker, and when I get stressed out my mind wanders and worries are really not worries. Just me stressed out from work or other things in my life.

ISneezeFunny · Feb 1, 2008, 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by new2relation

when I get stressed out my mind wanders and worries are really not worries.

... yeah that's kind of what happens when you're insecure.

You ever worry about what your girl is doing when she's out with her friends? That's insecurity.

You ever worry that your girl might leave you because you did/didn't do something?. that's insecurity.

You ever worry that you might not find another girl if it's not her?. that's insecurity.

Ask EuRa how to love yourself. It's a good one. You'll laugh. You might even cry. Believe it or not, it works.