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bre4uask · Jan 20, 2008, 01:36 PM

My former boyfreind says he wants to take me to court. When we were dating he bought me a lot of expensive things and now he wants them back or the money he paid for. Can he do this if they were gifts? :confused:

ScottGem · Jan 20, 2008, 01:39 PM

He CAN take you to court, but I doubt if he will win. Unless he can prove these things were loaned to you or given with the expection of marriage and you understood that, then he ain't going to win.

N0help4u · Jan 20, 2008, 01:42 PM

NOPE! Judge Judy and many other judges tell the one who bought the stuff for their ex to chalk it up as a lesson learned. If he can prove anything in his favor the Judge might tell you to give an item or two back. He would have to do a whole lot of lying to get everything.
If he has receipts that might work to his favor some... Tell him to take you to court otherwise leave you alone.

Get him to take it to Judy Judy

Fr_Chuck · Jan 20, 2008, 02:28 PM

Can he ask for them back, or can he take you to court of course he can ask and he can take you to court, nothing illegal in either of those.

Now most likely he will not win, if they were truly gifts then they are yours to keep.

bre4uask · Jan 20, 2008, 03:37 PM

He said that they were only gifts while we were dating and that he wants my laptop and the money I owe him for all the other things he bought me. I told him to take me to court if he wants anything from me. He could lie and say that they weren't gifts and I could loose that's what I'm afraid of..

Synnen · Jan 20, 2008, 03:43 PM

General rule of thumb in a breakup:

If it was given for an occasion (Christmas, birthday, Valentine's day, etc) it's yours, and was a gift.

If it was given other times, well... it may still be a gift, but generally you give those gifts back.

Aside from the laptop---what kind of gifts are we talking about here?

ScottGem · Jan 20, 2008, 03:55 PM

He can lie, but can he prove it? A gift is given unequivocally. Did he say to you, I'm buying you this laptop but you can only keep it as long as we are together? Unless he did and can prove it, it doesn't hae a leg to stand on. All you have to show the judge was that you were his girlfriend when the gifts were given. He's got to prove they weren't gifts or were contingent gifts. Something very hard to prove.

N0help4u · Jan 20, 2008, 04:05 PM

He doesn't have a leg to stand on. I agree with Synnen that technically, ethically you are suppose to give back things meant only IN the relationship like if he put a down payment on something in aspects to a future for the two of you, or if it was something that belonged to him before the relationship, if it has sentimental value to his family, etc...
anything he bought in the relationship as a gift he has to prove.
An engagement ring is a bit disputable, some Judges say since you broke up with him why do you want it anyway.

JudyKayTee · Jan 20, 2008, 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by bre4uask

He said that they were only gifts while we were dating and that he wants my laptop and the money i owe him for all the other things he bought me. I told him to take me to court if he wants anything from me. He could lie and say that they werent gifts and i could loose thats what im afraid of..

If you go to Small Claims on this issue I would be a little careful of the way you phrased this - "the money [you] owe him... " I think I know what you mean - he's saying you owe him - but it doesn't sound that way on first read.

bre4uask · Jan 20, 2008, 07:03 PM

Gifts like my laptop, he bought me a lot of clothes, expensive purses, blackberry etc.. Stuff like that nothing like a car though. I do have the receipts to a lot of the stuff also. And mostly all the stuff WAS bought for a special occasion like my birthday, xmas, anniversary.

N0help4u · Jan 20, 2008, 08:28 PM

You should have a fairly decent day in court if he takes it that far.

oneguyinohio · Jan 20, 2008, 08:37 PM

So, do you want to keep the stuff to remember him by? Give him the clothes... they'll look good on him... as will the purses!

Give him the laptop... after you have the memory destroyed... you wouldn't want your personal info left on it!

Then you won't have to worry that anyone will think you were just a gold digger.

ScottGem · Jan 20, 2008, 08:42 PM

Good, if you can show how the receipts correspond to special occasions, that helps you.

JudyKayTee · Jan 21, 2008, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by bre4uask

Gifts like my laptop, he bought me alot of clothes, expensive purses, blackberry ect.. stuff like that nothing like a car though. I do have the receipts to alot of the stuff also. And mostly all the stuff WAS bought for a special occasion like my bday, xmas, anniversary.

Hmm - this could be problematical in Small Claims Court - these were gifts but you have the receipts? Could be seen as contradictory.

bre4uask · Jan 21, 2008, 10:22 AM

I see what you mean, he told me to keep them just in case we needed to return it or something.

mraquino21 · Jan 21, 2008, 10:30 AM

Well if you have the reciepts it looks to me like he can't even prove that He bought them. Just sit back and let him take you to court if he's that stupid. I wouldn't even worry about it. It seems like everything is in your favor. Hey quick question while you were together did you buy him any gifts? If so did he give them back to you since you have split up?

JudyKayTee · Jan 21, 2008, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by mraquino21

Well if you have the reciepts it looks to me like he can't even prove that He bought them. Just sit back and let him take you to court if he's that stupid. I wouldn't even worry about it. It seems like everything is in your favor. hey quick question while ya'll were together did you buy him any gifts? If so did he give them back to you since ya'll have split up?

Are you suggesting that she lie about who bought the various gifts, that she say she bought them and not him because he doesn't have receipts - ?

(Whether or not she bought anything for him, whether he gave the gifts back, is immaterial.) Interesting but not pertinent.

mraquino21 · Jan 21, 2008, 01:22 PM

I think that you are reading too hard into what I typed and said. I never said anything about her "lieing" about it. Just simply that she has the reciepts and not him it will be a lot harder for him to prove that he bought them.

Whether it is immaterial or not I was simply asking a question as to her purchasing things for him during the relationship. I was asking out of curiousity.

JudyKayTee · Jan 21, 2008, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by mraquino21

I think that you are reading too hard into what I typed and said. i never said anything about her "lieing" about it. Just simply that she has the reciepts and not him it will be alot harder for him to prove that he bought them.

Whether it is immaterial or not I was simply asking a question as to her purchasing things for him during the relationship. I was asking out of curiousity.

And my point was he says he bought the gifts but doesn't have receipts; she says he bought the gifts and she has the receipts - and the receipts are a non issue. Why is this harder than having the receipts in hand?

Or else she lies and says he didn't buy the gifts, she did, she has the receipts. Sorry if I misunderstood you - I thought that was where you were going.

mraquino21 · Jan 21, 2008, 01:36 PM

That's okay. I didn't explain myself. Earlier she said he might be taking her to court. Usually in that situation the judge wants to see proof that he bought them. If she has the reciepts and he doesn't and if she didn't want to volunteer that information it would just make it harder for him to prove he bought them and it would probably get thrown out. Regardless, with them being gifts it will probably get thrown out like someone had stated earlier. But no I am not for lying or saying that she lie.