[Romefalls19]

OK, so everyone on here by now knows my situation with my ex. Well, I have been doing NC for over a month with her. Talking only when spoken too and it's short n sweet like "hi" "i'm good and you" stuff like that. Well I thought it would be best to just stop going on my myspace page, so I deleted ALL her friends off my myspace along with anyone who had her as a friend on myspace, then made my page private and haven't been on since(about 8 days). Now I was addicted to that site, but knew it was in my best interest to get off it for my own sanity.

She is now dating this guy who is so below me(looks wise and personality wise), everyone sees it. Except her, which is fine as long as she is happy. I just didn't want to know about it. Wel I sign onto my Facebook account and a very close friend of mine sent me a message saying this
"Hey,

Something a little bizzare happened. First of all is Brianna's last name Lyn? If so, she facebook friended me today. Even though we were sort of friends at shoprite, I think it is kind of wierd that I'm getting this friend request now. Are you guys still broken up? If so, I'm going to reject this request. Let me know."

SHE HAS NEVER HAD A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT! Now all of a sudden after I stop my myspace account she signs on. I try to get away from her, and she starts up a new account that she knew I had and is now requesting ALL of my guy friends. They are denying her and everything.

I'm not going to break NC I'm just wondering why she is doing all this crap

[HistorianChick]

She's doing this "crap" (as you put it) because she's trying to get into your head.

And, actually, you should be proud at this turn of events... because it means that you're making a difference. She knows that you're doing well without her, she knows that you're doing NC and she doesn't like it. Because she's not in control. She doesn't like seeing that you're getting along fine without her... and that you're actually growing as a person... completely without her.

Don't let this affect you, dear RomeFalls. And hey, I've got Facebook and myspace if you want to "pad your friend lists!"

Really, be proud of this. You're making a difference. :)

[Romefalls19]

Yea, Historian, I am proud of it, it's like that site was to be my Oasis lol... She said she would never get one ha ha.. Now she has one. It shows who my true friends are, the ones that delete her request. Sure what is your name on there and I can add you

[jpm247]

She'll realise what she's missing one day, well done for the NC. Historian is right, be proud, as she's no longer in control. Your doing well my friend.

[DMBacoustic]

I'm not really sure how I feel about all of this "being on control" stuff.

I mean isn't the point of NC to get yourself better and put yourself first?

It almost seems like "being in control" or winning is still keeping you just as emotionally involved in the situation. Just to play devil's advocate here but her doing this is obviously getting to you, otherwise you wouldn't think twice about mentioning it. I think you should just try to ignore all of this, and not think about it as a "contest" because I don't think its doing you any good. You need to further yourself from this situation.

I can't really tell if I have any validity in saying this, or if I'm just really in a bad mood today at work haha. Oh well feel free to shoot me down.

[Romefalls19]

It's getting to me simply because I did everything to get away, and she pops up lol. I'm not going to let it show it bothers me to her. I couldn't care less if I was in control or anything ha ha. I'm doing NC for me, to let myself move on.

[HistorianChick]

I don't think that its as much about being in control as it is knowing that you're making a difference. Knowing that what you're doing (for yourself = NC) is not only helping you with closure, but also is creating a self-sufficient, amazing person that is free... free to create a future void of a bad relationship.

And yes, as I wrote on another thread this morning... NC is not a means to an end. Its not a way to "get her back" or to show her you're worthy... it is for you and you alone. Its empowering yourself to be in control of your emotions, heart, and mind...

So, I guess it truly is a matter of control... but not over someone else, over yourself. :)

[DMBacoustic]

You guys could have just told me I was being a moron haha. I was up all night being all giddy because I'm going to see the foo fighters tonight. And now I'm pounding cups of coffee struggling to find ways of amusing myself at work because its so slow. I'm thinking of just puilling up a pie chart for a couple of hours and just staring at it and wandering off in my head.

So another coffee break sounds great.

[HistorianChick]

Yessss...

All right, boys... Cheers! Coffee's on me! :)

[Romefalls19]

YES! I love coffee... So now an ex friend of hers told me that when they used to talk(about 3 weeks ago) she told Sam(her friend) that she stalks my myspace... Not sure why or what's that about. She can't anymore since it's private, so maybe that's why the Facebook.. I don't know.. It's whatever anymore, I'm not going to start a conversation with her or send out a friend request ha ha... I've come to far to blow it over this

[DMBacoustic]

Yeaaaa boieieieieieie

[HistorianChick]

Oh yeah... pull out the good ol' Kevin McAllister...

"I'm not afraid anymore!" :D

[DMBacoustic]

I don't really know if that means anything. A LOT of girls stalk not just ex's but people on those kind of sites. I know plenty of girls who stalk their exes on myspace and Facebook, and it doesn't mean anything. Its just what girls do I guess.

[DMBacoustic]

Hahahaha I was waiting for that historian

[HistorianChick]

"just what girls do"..!

DMB... rah...

I'm a girl, I don't stalk on Facebook or myspace! What kind of girls have you been around?

I'll forgive you... e-chocolate may have to be involved in the forgiveness process, but I'll forgive you...

Just make the blanket statement when you talk about "what girls do"... "HC not included, of course" :D

[Romefalls19]

Its just weird how she didn't have a Facebook account while my myspace wasn't private and she was on my friends list. Now after a week of it being private, she makes a Facebook and requests one of my best friends.. Who she knows I am with 24/7

I come on here saying this stuff strictly so I don't tell anyone else, so it doesn't get back to her. Maybe that's a bad thing? But I think it's good

[DMBacoustic]

Immediately after I posted that I thought oh no I said girls and not most girls or even some girls.

I was just saying that I know plenty of not crazy girls who tend to uhm check up on, or if you want to say just "stalk" their exes from time to time when they have nothing better to do. They openly admit it. I don't think they do it for any other reason than curiosity and sometimes you just like to see what someone else is up to. I'm not saying that its what "all girls" do and I'm not even saying its right, it sounds shady I know but I think in the end its just harmless and human nature to be curious.

Hopefully I have redeemed myself and if not I blame it 100% on a lack of caffeine.

[HistorianChick]

Awww... you're sweet...

I was just messing with you... but one of my exes was very "girly" in his stalker mode. My friends now know him as "stalker boy." Police were involved... it was actually quite messed up. And... my myspace is now private due to his constant "checking up" on me.

Yes, you redeemed yourself. Honestly, there wasn't anything to "redeem"... my sarcasm tends to rear its ugly head when I have a deficiency of caffeine. ;)

[DMBacoustic]

And rome its good that you're telling all of this to us. You never know what could get around to her if you told even friends. This is a great place to vent and chances are we've all been in the same spot so you know you're getting good advice.

[HistorianChick]

Hear, hear! What else are e-coffee breaks for but to vent about problems! I'm enjoying this e-coffee thing we've got going!

(Oh, and DMB, I still want that fine print thingy... "HC exluded, of course" :D)