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ISneezeFunny · Jan 23, 2008, 09:19 AM

With me, it's more movie/tv shows. I'm a movie fanatic... and I can no longer watch a movie anymore. Is that weird? Yep.

I've switched over to music. I likey.

Currently, my situation's not too good. I got the flu... so I'm stuck in my bed for the next couple of days.

ihatewestseneca · Jan 23, 2008, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Yea I have friends that "want me to meet this girl" and "you gotta meet this one" stuff like that. Which I am open to that one ha ha...I have 3500 songs on my IPOD and somehow everytime I play it, one of the first 5 songs is me and my ex's song we used to relate how we felt when she went to NC when we first got together. "Stay where I can see you" by The Starting Line...I really loved that song, even before we got together and now I can't listen to it

Yeah, our song was like "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. And the day after we broke up, I woke up to it, then when I got in the car to go to work it was playing, and then when I got to work it was playing... I hated that day so much... but I guess it was kind of funny thinking back to it.

ihatewestseneca · Jan 23, 2008, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

with me, it's more movie/tv shows. i'm a movie fanatic...and i can no longer watch a movie anymore. is that weird? yep.

i've switched over to music. i likey.

currently, my situation's not too good. i got the flu...so i'm stuck in my bed for the next couple of days.

Yeah, I can't watch "The Break Up" or "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" anymore... not really my favorite movies... but they were decent.

ihatewestseneca · Jan 23, 2008, 09:37 AM

P.S. isn't it funny how this site consumes your life.

ISneezeFunny · Jan 23, 2008, 09:42 AM

Hey, I have an excuse. I have the flu. I have a life!. or so I think...

BMI · Jan 23, 2008, 09:58 AM

Hey Seneca,

Facebook and social networking sites are the devil when it comes to break-ups. The SNOOPING has to stop my man. I wrote ALLLLLLLLLL about snooping my ex's wall on this site and it turned me into an obsessive freak (I'm sure those that know my story are agreeing:). I spent hours and hours a day looking for hints and checking all the people she spoke to and her ex-boyfriends profile, honestly I was out of control. I had Facebook blocked from my computer and Myspace. I can no longer use them because of the insanity of it all.

DON'T repeat my mistake, delete the thing or get rid of her profile cause it will make what you have to do an infinite amount of times harder.

As for the actual situation, I don't like what she is doing and I feel for you, I really do. HOWEVER, it seems like you have convinced yourself that she is sooooo happy with him and that he made her forget you in 10 days, Nonsense to that say I.

It is always the perspective of us guys to think that our ex's are happy and free and thatthey are doing all kinds of things with all kinds of guys. I thought her writing hello to an ex was basically because they were sleeping together, our minds jump to the worst case scenario. She is happy, she does not miss me, etc. In reality, no girl/guy is exempt from loneliness or heart ache, if you miss her chances are in many ways she misses you. Her seeing another guy so soon after is an indication of how emotionally stunted she is, she is with him to help get over you, so be a little proud of that (although it sounds weird... lol).

Just because it does not seem like she cares about you based on her actions, I'll wager she does, she's human. Show me a guy/girl who cared about someone andspent years with them that can honestly say after a month they feel nothing for the other person, if you can find one I'd love to sit and chat with them.

Finally, I really like 2 of my ex girls, A lot. If they wanted to try again I would not hesitate, but I gave up on it. What I'm trying to say is that even though I have feelings for them I won't make that known from now until... well... ever. Just because one does not act a certain way does not mean that's how they feel.

Hope this all makes sense.

TrueFaith · Jan 23, 2008, 10:31 AM

Id have to say that snoopying is not the best thing. Because we normaly find stuff we don't want to find :( and it does hurt!

that's why I never stay friends with my Xs. Because I couldn't even dear to dream that there with anyone else! :)

I agree. I hate FACEBOOK! Its awful you can find out everything :( how can anyone stand to see there Xs happy! :)
all the people that have sent me all this stuff ohh I love you and yeah were ideal together blah blah bling bling blah!
Words are cheap now a days..

in my strange mind my X went out with a crazy looking dude. So that made me feel a lot better. Hehe

its good you got it off you chest though :)

Regards

HistorianChick · Jan 23, 2008, 10:53 AM

Wait a minute... How did you get into your girlfriends inbox on Facebook? You must know her password... yes? I think there is a big difference between visiting a myspace/facebook page and accessing their personal profiles...

I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have done that. Its not "snooping" if you visit a facebook/myspace page. That, sadly, happens a lot in break-up situations, I've done it myself now and again. But, to actually access someone's personal page by inputting their password... that's snooping.

Anyway... this is beside the point.

She is needy and in a rebound relationship. You shouldn't compare yourself to him. I'm so sorry that you had to see that same email to another guy. I know that had to seriously hurt. But really darlin, you're going to be fine. You got the better end of the deal on this one. Don't hurt yourself more by looking at her page. As hard as it is, you'll feel much better when you don't.

Keep your chin up - and don't log into her Facebook anymore! ;)

HistorianChick · Jan 23, 2008, 10:55 AM

Or, wait a minute, did she actually have that email/comment ON her Wall? Wow... that's a definite low blow if that's the case...

I'm sorry, hon. You shouldn't have to deal with this... save yourself. Don't look.

ihatewestseneca · Jan 23, 2008, 05:50 PM

Yeah, we set it up together so I do know it... I felt awful, because I know that that's a total invasion of privacy and stuff. I've only looked like twice, and I don't think ill do it again, ill just start ranting or something on this site next time I have nothing better to do. I know it was wrong, but I did it anyway... what can I say...

Anyway, I have deleted her as a friend, and I hardly ever use Facebook anyway just because I think its dumb. Its just when I have nothing to do I start to wonder... and I know I should just get busy when that happens, but I doubt it will anymore because classes have just started back up for me and with school, work, friends, and hoes, I think her Facebook will be the last thing on my mind.

ihatewestseneca · Jan 23, 2008, 05:51 PM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

hey, i have an excuse. i have the flu. i have a life!...or so I think...

652 posts in 2 months... I would say you lead a very fulfilling life, haha. I kid.

ISneezeFunny · Jan 23, 2008, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

652 posts in 2 months... i would say you lead a very fulfilling life, haha. i kid.

Damn. I've been caught.

Believe it or not, this site is very therapeutic. I saved thousands here by not going to therapy... I never believed in therapy... but I also come from a family that doesn't believe in hospitals unless something's broken... and even then, it has to be bad enough that the bone sticks through the skin. Anyway, yeah.

Still sick. Still in bed. Just found out today that TV these days has gone straight to hell. I have 120 something channels... and NOTHING to watch between 10am - 6pm. Goodness.

little firefly · Jan 23, 2008, 07:51 PM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

damn. i've been caught.

believe it or not, this site is very therapeutic. I saved thousands here by not going to therapy...

LOL, same here!! I would hate to think how much I would have spent over the last nine months if I had gone to see a therapist!

But anyway, Yeah Ihatewestseneca, try to keep busy so that you don't feel tempted to try to find out things about your ex. When mine first broke up with me, I tried to find out all I could about what was going on with him. Big mistake! He started seeing his best friend a month after he left me, and in trying to find out about their life together, All I did was torture myself and cause more pain on top of what I was already feeling... I definitely agree with a post comment that Maffiaangel180 made... Ignorance truly is bliss. I would much rather be ignorant than constantly hurting. Luckily I've finally reached the point in regards to him that I really don't give a *bleep* :p

TrueFaith · Jan 23, 2008, 11:36 PM

Never look back always look forward :)

Being stuck in the pass is just painful.

I agree Ignorant is BLISS :) when it comes to Xs chicadees

roogirl · Jan 24, 2008, 01:37 AM

Whether you realise it or not, what you discovered is actually a good thing. Even though it hurt like hell, the reality is, it showed her true colours - she is a player. The adage goes - the truth shall set you free.

Even if everything you read was true, bear in mind that whirlwind romances often finish just as abruptly as they start. And she probably started the relationship so she could get a 'quick fix' from feeling the effects of the break-up (otherwise known as a rebound relationship).

Rise above this, and realise you are the better person. I too had the compulsion to keep checking my ex's Facebook, and it hurt me as well. If you can't stop yourself from checking her Facebook, remove the temptation altogether and delete your profile, at least temporarily until you can get past this point. I deleted mine and won't put it back up again until I don't care anymore.

daisydew · Jan 24, 2008, 02:14 AM

Facebook and Myspace were the WORST after my boyfriend broke up with me. He immediately got in a new relationship too. Do yourself a favor and don't look. If you're feeling tempted just come here and vent! Read through the posts here and look at all the people who support you. It will lift your spirits and you'll realize you don't really care what's on her Facebook anymore. Hang in there!

ihatewestseneca · Jan 25, 2008, 02:28 PM

So I was thinking about the break-up... naturally, haha. I never really got a straight answer from her, because she just wanted to take a break, but she would call me and stuff. So then I told her that I can't be her friend during this break, and she was upset, then NC started.

I'm not trying to justify any reason to call her and ask if we are absolutely done or not. After seeing what she's wrote to that other guy, I don't really want her anymore. I just can't help wondering if moving on would be easier if she had told me straight up if she wasn't interested anymore. Cus when she came over before she went back to school she told me that she was still interested in me, but she was just confused. That's the only answer I got, that she was confused. Judging by her messages to that other guy, its hard to tell if she is interested in me anymore or not. So yeah, I think it would be easier if she would just say "No, i dont want to be with you anymore". Guess, ill just have to wait till she tries to contact me, if she does... haha, bad day...

ihatewestseneca · Feb 5, 2008, 02:47 PM

*sigh* its funny how a simple email will send me running to this site. Haha. Today is exactly a month of NC, and yeah, my ex sent me an email... it reads...

"hey, i dont really know how to do this... i know you need to be able to heal and that its hard when i contact you. right? i guess i just want you to know that i dont expect anything from you and i understand everything you must be feeling. i dont know, i want you to know that i still care and that i havent forgotten about you. so you dont have to write anything back, obviously, i just dont know what the right thing to do is.. i mean in terms of showing you that i hope youre doing well."

What the crap... I love how she thinks I'm still that depressed loser she saw when she left... and I don't think there's any way for her to understand, after all I was her first boyfriend... unless her new guy dumped her already.

Anyway, is this her "coming around" thing, or is she just curious? I was seriously shocked when I checked my mail today, I didn't expect to hear anything until she came home for the summer, because I figured she'd be bored this summer away from her "amazing" school and her new guy.

But yeah, do I write back just saying I'm doing good? That I'm actually starting to get over her? Or should I just ignore this?

Thanks in advance for the wonderful advice I'm about to receive!

DMBacoustic · Feb 5, 2008, 04:13 PM

It really all depends on how you feel. If you think you're completely over the situation, and you feel that you care for her enough to let her know how you're doing and such, then go for it.

But when you say how she has a new guy and everything and you're not sure if she's bored now or something like that, by all means trust your heart and don't say anything in return to her.

It depends also who broke up with who? If she dumped you for another guy, by all means don't even give her a thought in your head. But if it's the other way around then as long as you're OK with it and you do care about her give it a shot.

ihatewestseneca · Feb 5, 2008, 04:27 PM

She broke up with me over "long distance" but days later (maybe the same day or maybe before she broke up with me) started dating this other guy she met at school. We went out for 2 years, and I'm not over her, I'm starting to get over her, because she's not on my mind 24/7, more like 15/7. I still love her because our relationship was just so great, and she really did make me a better person.

I want to tell her that she can't possibly understand how it feels to hear someone you love tell you that you're not worth waiting for... basically what she did to me. But I know that won't solve anything... I just don't know what to do... the balls' in my court I guess, because she thinks I'm still way down about this.

In all honesty I still want her back... but my brain is telling me that she needs to be alone for awhile and work on herself, and she is failing to do that while she is with this new guy... I really think that would be best for her because I really do care about her a lot and I want what's best for her... but me telling her isn't going to solve anything, and I know she's got to figure it out, and I know I shouldn't be thinking about what she's thinking but I'm lost here...