Should I?

Rinacakes1991 · Dec 4, 2007, 08:33 PM

Should I date him? He says he'll give me the world, but "they" say he'll give me pain. He has a reputation of cheating , but he's sooooooooooooo cute. If I say no we'll probably stop talking and I'll probably just die. But if I say yes I will probably be his little puppet. What should I do?:(

ChihuahuaMomma · Dec 4, 2007, 08:55 PM

If he has a reputation for cheating, then its probably because he was cheating...

Don't date him. You won't die. But if you date him and WHEN he cheats on you, you will be hurt... Why risk it?

Don't do it. Find someone that will treat you good.

charlotte234s · Dec 5, 2007, 01:17 AM

Don't date him, he's known to be a cheater he will only hurt you more than you can hurt yourself. Being cute doesn't mean he won't reat you bad, use you, and cheat on you like a sumbag. Cute doesn't get you very far when you're a lowlife, don't fall for that trap.

ChihuahuaMomma · Dec 5, 2007, 07:01 PM

Rina,

Don't do it... and being soooooooooo cute is nothing... There are boys are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute that will be good to you. Choose one of them.

The reason that he is a cheater is because girls think that he is cute, and he takes advantage of that when he's "committed" to someone, or supposed to be. He doesn't care about anyone but himself.

Your advantage is knowing this before getting involved with him, and saving yourself from it...

Honey, just don't do it, being cheated on is a HORRIBLE feeling. And it's something that you can never forget...

Fr_Chuck · Dec 5, 2007, 08:29 PM

Looks come and go, personality and moral character stays forever

oneguyinohio · Dec 5, 2007, 08:40 PM

Just for a different opinion, date him. If his cuteness is your primary concern, then forget about his reputation. You'll have the results that all of the above people have advised you about, but hey... enjoy the moment and all that cuteness. While you're at it you can think about the idea that the reason he is able to cheat is that there are a lot of shallow girls only interested in his cuteness. Who know's maybe someday you'll be able to write about the experience in an effort to help other victims of cheaters.

kp2171 · Dec 5, 2007, 08:41 PM

My partner used to have a birthday greeting card with a tanned, shirtless, ripped guy on the front. The caption said "somewhere, somebody is TIRED of putting up with his crap"

So here's the deal. You know his history. I'm not going to tell you not to go for it. Not all relationships need to be about finding the perfect man who will be devoted to you and kiss your feet.

But the deal is if you go for it... NO WHINING.

You knew what you were in for. You signed up for it. If he gives you grief or breaks your heart or drives you mad... you knew it was coming.

I dated a girl who wasn't a player, but she had a pretty wild reputation. I took the leap. We actually had a blast for two years together. Now in the end she cheated on me, even after I gave her an "easy out" clause, and hurt me like hell... but I blamed myself just as much as her... I knew she loved to party and was surprised she stayed so faithful for so long. If you asked me was it worth it... yeah, it was.

So don't think you are the girl that will "fix him" and don't whine if he uses you... cause you got in that line on your own.

That said... doesn't mean he isn't worth the trouble if you can manage the noise and keep in control.

But your "puppet" comment... makes it sound like he's already got you wrapped.

ChihuahuaMomma · Dec 5, 2007, 08:43 PM

What Oneguy is saying is, go ahead, and learn from the experience. It'll make you look at this question differently.

Some people really do have to just learn from their own mistakes instead of listening to other people's advice.

So, if that's you, then date him.

Rinacakes1991 · Dec 5, 2007, 09:05 PM

kp2171 claims that he thinks that I'm probably already rapped up by my friend. If so how do I get unwrapped? No matter what I do I can't stay mad at him. And ever other guy who's interested I brush aside, some of them are just as cute or cuter and 10 times nicer. What is it with this guy that I stay so sprung over him?

kp2171 · Dec 5, 2007, 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by Rinacakes1991

If i say no we'll probaly stop talking and i'll probaly just die. but if i say yes i will probaly be his little puppet.(

I claim very little.

"puppet" is your word.

You'll just "die" is your phrase.

If I misinterpret the meaning of those phrases, OK.

You have control over your choices. You shouldn't date anyone if you don't accept that first.

kp2171 · Dec 5, 2007, 09:20 PM

And sometimes a girl seems to "need" to date some bad boys for a time. It happens.

I've known girls who have done this until they are tired of the drama.

Is isn't right or wrong. But it IS your choice.

Rinacakes1991 · Dec 5, 2007, 09:21 PM

I'm not saying you are wrong. I'm saying that if I am wrapped up, do you all have any suggestions as how to get unwrapped?

kp2171 · Dec 5, 2007, 09:32 PM

1) don't date him

Or

2) make him do all the work... as in he initiates talking, calls, dates, etc. not to say you can't show interest, but being in control means you keep him guessing and wondering.

This is a dangerous game to play... and if its going to be played at least its better with casual dating. Mind games with the person you are trying to be with maybe for the rest of your life is just a bad idea. We both know this isn't what you should be after.

.. if you are trying to work out what it means to date and to be in control of yourself, maybe you are wanting to test yourself.

Again... it could get ugly, but that doesn't mean you can't do it.

First of all... he's not that special. There's a few billion people on this earth. He gives you the right vibes. OK. There are others out there... you just haven't met them yet or aren't ready for them yet. So don't put him up on a pedestal.

Second, never be in a relationship where you idolize the other person. It isn't healthy. You aren't his butler. If you find that you have to do all the work, its wrong. If you find yourself more frustrated than happy most of the time, wrong again.

Third, understand that this relationship, at this stage in your life, likely IS NOT life or death. The highs seem higher and the lows seem lower, but keep it in perspective. Even if he dotes, cares, and is good to you now... chances are that this relationship will pass in time. You can enjoy it. Have fun with it. But you shouldn't place yourself second to this relationship. It Isn't that important.

Most will say stay clear from him. Id suggest that too if you want to be safe or can't handle emotional disappointment.

But, like I said, sometimes the risk and the fun is worth the pain in the rear noise you go through. No regrets... in fact, if I have regrets, its sometimes that I didn't take a leap of faith just because I wanted to be safe...

But then again, a woman probably needs to be more careful than a man in some cases...

Rinacakes1991 · Dec 5, 2007, 09:40 PM

Awseome advice kp ! i would totally rate you, but the thing won't let me.
my only issue is that i don't have a cell phone and my parents get weird when he calls. So i have to call him.:confused:
and he doesn't act like a cheater it's just from all the rumors i've heard i feel like i can't trust him. Because my dad cheated on my mom i just overall have this automatic shield with guys and i start assuming there all bad.

brannan · Dec 5, 2007, 10:14 PM

Originally Posted by Rinacakes1991

Should i date him? He says he'll give me the world, but "they" say he'll give me pain. He has a reputation of cheating , but he's sooooooooooooo cute. If i say no we'll probaly stop talking and i'll probaly just die. but if i say yes i will probaly be his little puppet. what should i do?:(

I would say go out with him but if he seems to be all fine one day and the next all weird like he isn't intrested in you anymore just break up with him before he breaks up with you