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Homegirl 50 · Dec 4, 2007, 08:36 PM

Originally Posted by younglady13

i meant that she shouldn't be punished yet explained to why she shouldn't do that until older and anyway what's your recomended age for sex

If she is doing something she has no business doing, then yes, she should be punished. Otherwise she just does it again.

younglady13 · Dec 4, 2007, 08:38 PM

Sex is natural such as a boy humping his mom's bra magazine it should be prevented yes but if you really want to you should because if you refuse these urges your body could fight against you such as helping diseases destroy your body

younglady13 · Dec 4, 2007, 08:39 PM

Yes punished but nothing as harsh as being locked up in her room for months at a time

Rinacakes1991 · Dec 4, 2007, 08:45 PM

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Homegirl 50 · Dec 4, 2007, 08:47 PM

Originally Posted by younglady13

sex is natural such as a boy humping his mom's bra magazine it should be prevented yes but if you really want to you should because if you refuse these urges your body could fight against you such as helping diseases destroy your body

You don't act on every urge you have. Masturbating is a lot safer at 14 than having sex. Kids that young should not be having sex.
You cannot get sick at 14 from not having sex.

younglady13 · Dec 4, 2007, 08:48 PM

If older your grades can drop

Homegirl 50 · Dec 4, 2007, 08:54 PM

Your grades don't drop from lack of sex either. Your grades may drop if you are preoccupied with it, but that could happen with preoccupation with anything. You discipline yourself to do your work to keep your grades up.
I wasn't having sex as a teen and my grades never dropped because of it.
People often go for long periods without sex and they survive. A 14 year old teen will too.

younglady13 · Dec 4, 2007, 08:58 PM

I think we should agree to disagree I can see your right but wrong like me and I think your kind of stubborn like me and this could take awhile

Homegirl 50 · Dec 4, 2007, 09:08 PM

I'm not stubborn. I'm 54 years old and I think I know what I'm talking about, but if you need to believe what you do, you go right a head.
I'm done.

Baby-_-Girl-_-19 · Dec 4, 2007, 09:17 PM

Not to get in the middle of your guys' discussion but either way you want to look at it 14 is way to young. I don't think an extreme form of punishment is going to help her daughter any. As I said before chances are, unless she understands the full consequence to having sex at such a young age she's just going to think that "mommie's out to ruin my fun" and be twice as likely to rebel and repeat current behavior.

younglady13 · Dec 4, 2007, 09:18 PM

That's what I been trying to say

Homegirl 50 · Dec 4, 2007, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by Baby-_-Girl-_-19

Not to get in the middle of your guys' discussion but either way you want to look at it 14 is way to young. I dont think an extreme form of punishment is going to help her daughter any. As i said before chances are, unless she understands the full consequence to having sex at such a young age shes just going to think that "mommy's out to ruin my fun" and be twice as likely to rebel and repeat current behavior.

At her age any punishment is going to be seen as extreme and "momma trying to ruin my fun"
She would be punished or grounded if she were mine. She would have a strict curfew and would not go anyplace unless I took her. No dating and monitored phone calls. She would have to seriously regain my trust.

younglady13 · Dec 4, 2007, 09:30 PM

You have to give a punishment that doesn't seem like a punishment or a small one

Homegirl 50 · Dec 4, 2007, 09:45 PM

If you're going to give a punishment that does not seem like one, or a small one, what is the point? You give a punishment that fits the crime so the person thinks about what they did and the conseqenses. And you don't make it easy for them to do it again

younglady13 · Dec 4, 2007, 09:47 PM

If she understands what she did and knows that the next time she does it you will crack down harder why punish

angel0772001 · Dec 4, 2007, 09:52 PM

Maybe you should see if anyone that you know has a baby that's fairly young where they have to watch the baby and get up with it at night that's a big lesson to learn. I had to learn it the hard way. I got pregnant in school barely graduated and never got to go to college. I love my daughter and all but I wished I would have waited. If you want me to message her on here and talk to her just let me know I'm more than willing to

alkalineangel · Dec 4, 2007, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by younglady13

if she understands what she did and knows that the next time she does it you will crack down harder why punish

Because you learn from punishment... would you tell a person who commits a crime against someone else that as long as they understand what they did they can go on, but next time they will "really" get it?? no... the problem with children (and yes 14 is a child) is that if you give even one inch with them, they will learn that and use it against you. If you keep threatening punishmnet but never enforce it, they will learn that. At 14 if my child was caught having sex, her phone would be revoked, she would be driven to and from school by me, and she would not go out with friends unless I personally were chaperoning. Simple... she may hate me for it now, but she will respect me for it later.

Homegirl 50 · Dec 4, 2007, 10:00 PM

Originally Posted by younglady13

if she understands what she did and knows that the next time she does it you will crack down harder why punish

You punish so there won't be a next time. The next time she could get pregnant or an STD or hurt some other way.

Baby-_-Girl-_-19 · Dec 4, 2007, 10:10 PM

I wasn't saying that she shouldn't be punished, she should, But grounding her for eternity and locking that are only going to tick her off, and quite frankly if my mom had done that to me, I would've found a way to get out of her sight and do exactly what she didn't want me to just to spite her. All I'm saying is that before she can be punished she needs to FULLY understand the wieght of what she did, and why her mom is reacting the way she is. To most teens sex is not a big deal, its extremely casual, they don't even think about the things that can happen to them. The making her baby sit idea, and the mother daughter discussion are both extremely good ways to punish her but also get her to see what she's doing. As far as punishment goes I wasn't saying let her go out and do whatever she wants, I was saying that yes she needs to EARN her freedom back BUT she also needs to feel like she can trust her mom with information like that, how's she going to be able to if her mom grounds her for the rest of her life?

Stare At The Sun · Dec 4, 2007, 10:14 PM

I have a friend whose mother found out she was having sex and she is 14. Her mum made her get an implanon so she doesn't get pregnant, she also buys her condoms. There's also another girl in my year level whose pregnant and the babies due in January.

I don't think you should punish her. Talk to her about how you feel and listen to how she feels about it. If you punish her and tell her not to have sex she'll find some way of doing it behind your back. The most you can do is make sure she's using protection so she won't get pregnant or get STD's