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    needadvicenj's Avatar
    needadvicenj Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 13, 2007, 08:52 PM
    Why does it feel like she hates me?
    :confused: hi I am a single mom from nj,
    I work two jobs and do everything I can for my daughter and I just feel like its not ever going to be good enough for her. She is five years old and to smart for her own good. She has the most respect and well manners for everyone but me. What and how do I deal with it?? I never thought her words could hurt so much!
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Nov 13, 2007, 08:58 PM
    Welcome to motherhood!! Our children at this age expect a lot, much more than we can give sometimes.

    You work 2 jobs? How much time do you get to spend with her? Where is she when you are working? What kinds of things do you do together?

    She needs, wants, deserves your attention. Does she get it? Does she get enough?

    I hate to answer questions with questions, but there are so many unanswered questions here, so many variables, that it is hard to give an adequate answer.
    whoknowswhattodo's Avatar
    whoknowswhattodo Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 19, 2007, 09:23 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by needadvicenj
    :confused: hi i am a single mom from nj,
    i work two jobs and do everything i can for my daughter and i just feel like its not ever going to be good enough for her. she is five years old and to smart for her own good. she has the most respect and well manners for everyone but me. what and how do i deal with it???i never thought her words could hurt so much!
    She can sense that you are trying to please her. STOP! Take care of yourself. Take care of her, but set definite limits. Don't allow her to mistreat you, she'll hate herself for it later. She is just doing what we humans naturally do... we take advantage of those that let us. I'm sure you've seen this in other relationships. It's natural.
    Teach her to earn things.
    Teach her compassion when you don't feel good, let her get you a blanket.
    Teach her that moms aren't made for wiping feet on. Yes we give and give, but set limits for her own good. Take a hot bath & polish your nails, mom... you deserve a break.
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