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n9182004 · Oct 27, 2007, 12:02 AM

Me and my husband are going through a hard time right now.. He doesn't want to spend time with me anymore.. He rather hang out with his friends are do other stuff without me. Things that we use to do together doesn't happen any more even if its just a ride to the store. I have a few guy friends who would love to hang out with me and give me the attention that I am dying to get from my HUSBAND but I know that it can lead to something else since these guys use to be prior boyfriends even though we are just friends now. Will it be wrong of me to go for the attention or just stay at home and get ignored and neglected by my husband??

charlotte234s · Oct 27, 2007, 12:05 AM

Hanging out isn't cheating, but it would be wrong of you to go if it could lead to that or hurt your husband. Why not have a conversation with your husband and talk about how you feel and how he feels and try to come up with some things you can do for each other to improve your relationship, regain intimacy, and be close, while keeping both of you happy?

KBC · Oct 27, 2007, 03:33 AM

You posted this twice now?

s_cianci · Oct 27, 2007, 04:20 AM

Unfortunately you're in quite a bind. I feel that it would be wrong of you to seek out the attention of these other men since you're a married woman. But it's certainly wrong of your husband to ignore and neglect you, too. Have you tried talking with your husband about how you feel? If you haven't, I'd urge you to do it now. If you have but to no avail, then you may need to give him an ultimatum. There's nothing to stop you from packing you bags, hitting the road and getting a quick divorce if he refuses to be a husband to you. Then you can seek out the company of whatever men you want. Not that I advocate taking the whole idea of desertion and divorce lightly but sometimes it comes down to that.

Marily · Oct 27, 2007, 06:25 AM

Maybe you should tell your hubby how you feel, seeking attention from male friends won't solve your problem.

donf · Oct 27, 2007, 07:41 AM

"N",

Before you climb out on the ledge, please stop and look at yourself. Are you presenting your husband with a person that you could spend time with or is your behavior such that it is repelling him.

Guy's are really dumb sometimes but even we know if the body language and the behavior of our wives is something we can live with.

For me, any where my wife is, is home to me. I do everything I can to spend time with my lady. However, I do not want to suffocate her so if you wants to go out with her friends or do something with her sister, that's fine with me.

Take a look backwards in you life. At some point it was important for your husband to spend time with you. See the person you were and try to recreate her. You did it before, you can do it again!

S SID · Oct 27, 2007, 07:58 AM

For you to hang out with these so called friends (ex-lovers) is not only unfair on your husband but is also giving them the wrong idea. I disagree strongly with the quicky divorce. You do need to talk to him and tell him what you feel is missing then LISTEN to what he has to say. It might be a good idea to go away for a short time, for you both to think about what is happening and what you're going to do to put things right, certainly no more than two weeks though.
Good luck and keep in touch.