[brashj54]

I am so sad and so afraid all the time, so depressed it hurts. I have a variety of physical problems, they alone would stop most people, but the depression over rides them all. I need to talk, I don't want to be scolded or told to pull myself up by my boot straps. I have been treated for Major Sadness it is an uncommon diagnosis and when I was being treated by Harvard Dr's I was given a diagnosis of Suicidally Terminal, it is a diagnosis that is almost never given. Yet I have been tested over and over, I am not bipolar, not manic, not even major depression. Yet they have me on more antidepressants than they consider safe to take. And every Psychiatrist has told me I have no personality disorders, I started seeing Psychiatrist when I was 17 and now I am 53. And my diagnosis has not changed, I get so sad it hurts physically, and I am afraid all the time. I need people who care to talk to. I have seen people on this site that truly care. Will you talk to me?

[Emland]

If there is nothing wrong, why the meds? I'm sorry you are having this trouble. Have you sought a second or third opinion?

[brashj54]

Over the Last 36 years if have been on just about every anti deperssive med there is, nothing works. I can't even remember how many DR's I have seen, but have been a good patient always taking what they give me, never just quiting it. I am disabled now with Poly Neuropathy, lupus, crippling arthritis, and the worst is dentures, I always tell young people to take care of there teeth, I would rather have lost a leg from the need down than have to deal with these dentures. Oh I for got, open heart surgery, five or more heart attacks, and 5 stints placed in one of my arteries. But the sorrow and deprssion far out weigh any of this. My wife decided when I got so sick (physically) she didn't sign on for that and left me, I don't even know where she is. She hasn't divoced me just disappeared. So I have to be my own care giver which is tough because she was going to have my car sent down to me when we separated, but instead she sold it and left me with no transportaton. This makes life even more dificult. I began to hurt from all my physical problems so bad at one point I cut my wrist ( I studied how did it corectly) had to have 5 suggers (sp) in the artery and 6 stiches. But it wasn't the depression it was the pain that made me do that. I wish I had the courage to do that again but I am a Christian and really don't want to meet God that way. I'm sorry for over answering but occurred to me I hadn't told everything. Also, thank you for your concern.

[Emland]

I was going to suggest exercise that is a natural treatment to depression, but it sounds like your disabilities won't allow too much activity.

Do you take any therapy along with all the meds?

[cal823]

I don't know how to help you, but I just want to say that you can overcome this! You can be happy! You can do anything you set your mind to! I believe you can do it, you deserve to feel happy! If you feel the need to talk use this thread or pm me ill listen to whatever you need to vent if you want to.