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sugarbaby222 · Oct 6, 2007, 02:15 PM

what do you think of a husband whom ecourages his wife to"stray"he definitely isn't the jealous type .we've been married a long time.the only way he would get concerned is if I would want to end my marriage for the other person.he likes to watch,it sexually exites him:rolleyes:

Leidenschaftlich für Wahr · Oct 6, 2007, 03:37 PM

I think that it is asking for disaster...

nauticalstar420 · Oct 6, 2007, 03:54 PM

If you are not comfortable with it, don't do it. Yes, we should make our mate happy, but we should definitely not do anything we are not comfortable with.

I agree with the above post, it is asking for disaster. The only question I have is, if he's encouraging you to stray, does that mean he thinks its okay if he strays as well?

sweetsorrow · Oct 6, 2007, 10:37 PM

My sister is sort of the same way, she always tells her boyfriend that if he wants to sleep with someone else its fine as long as he's honest about it. It kind of confuses me though, why would someone want their partner to sleep with other people? To me its almost like they don't really care about you then. I would hate if my boyfriend slept with someone else. Its all good to have an open relationship a lot of people do. If that's what you want and if that's what he likes then that's what he likes, but like nauticalstar420 said, does that mean its OK for him to do it 2? Would you care? But if you're up for it and it will make him (and you) happy then do what you will.

All the best

Dennis777 · Oct 6, 2007, 11:30 PM

Hello.

Many couples have tried to add a third and most end up in trouble. Some have made it work and the ones that do enjoy the life style. It sounds like you have tried it and it has worked for you both. If it gets you both going then go for it. Just keep it under control and don't let the excitement keep pushing you into more and more kinky things your not ready to do.

Dennis777

grammadidi · Oct 6, 2007, 11:42 PM

There are some people who think this is entirely normal and the best way to conduct a marriage, and there are others who feel it is wrong or disgusting. The key is, to marry a partner who feels the same way about it that you do! Personally, I don't see why anyone who wants to include a third (or fourth) party into a relationship want to get married! Why not stay single? I also feel that people who need more than one partner are basically unfulfilled and depressed and trying to fill that void with sex instead of communicating and dealing with their issues straight up. I don't think that a relationship based upon sex, different partners, etc. will last any length of time in a quality type of way. My guess is that your husband may have had issues as a child that he has not dealt with, and until he does, acting out behaviors will be the norm.

At any rate, it all really boils down to what YOU think of it. If you enjoy it as much as he does, then it works for you both, I guess. If it is NOT something that you enjoy, then you should not be forced into it, nor expected to do it. You will also have to question whether you really want to continue in a relationship like this.

Hope this helps...

Didi

Synnen · Oct 7, 2007, 12:12 AM

Oh good lord.

Why is it that the people who can be honest about attraction to other people, even when married, are the ones with problems? Maybe those of us who CAN and HAVE made open or semi-open (threesomes,etc) relationships work are the ones who can handle love and honesty in relationships, and everyone ELSE is hung up on morality and jealousy! It's all about trusting your partner, you know.

There... now that I've got that little rant out of my system--there ARE some people for whom being a voyeur is a turn on. Same thing for being a cuckold--some people REALLY love it. The problem is that not everyone does--just like not everyone likes oral sex (giving OR receiving).

You need to talk with your partner about what you are and are not comfortable with. If you are NOT comfortable with this, then DO NOT DO IT. Period. If you are--then GREAT! Just establish what the rules are in advance with ALL parties involved!

If you're NOT comfortable with it--maybe your partner would compromise with watching you masturbate? Something to bring up when you discuss it with him.

Matt86 · Oct 7, 2007, 03:14 PM

I think it is a disaster>>>>>
It is a very big prob.

Ash123 · Oct 7, 2007, 07:26 PM

Yes, it is a PROBLEM.

WHY?

1) it caused you to head to the internet in confusion and anxiety
2) It may very well be that he is telling you in code that he is sleeping elsewhere
3) He does not value as the center of his life
4) He has left you feeling alone - and not special

I would discuss this with HIM and/or a counselor Today.

The idea that three-somes are A-ok and all that may be fine for a while for some, but you are not even in that position... he has just said - do... whatever. And if he wants to watch - super, but it doesn't work for you... and you better speak up before you all get in an even worse spot.