[Time Keeper]

:confused: I know love is not a feeling and its far deeper than what the eye can see; it's a heart thing being there for the long haul. My wife does lots for me. When she's out she brings back something for me. She includes me in things. However I do not. I do get compulsions to buy her things when I'm out but I wander from shop to shop not knowing what to get and end up getting nothing. I think the most important part in my marriage is I am unable to talk. I find it really difficult. How can I talk to my wife?

[N0help4u]

I am sure your wife doesn't concern herself with if you buy her anything.
The main thing a woman looks for is being attentive to her needs and feelings and making her feel important and that you really do care by the little things you do.
If you really feel like you need to spend money on her do things like take her out places she enjoys. I am sure the memories of the two of you going places and doing things together would mean more to her than anything.

[donf]

Over the time of our marriage, I learned bunches of new junk about the way my lady thinks and what she likes to do. I'm most vulnerable about the way Bon thinks. We are universes apart in the thought process, but surprisingly close in responses.

Since you are the one who has the "Problem" you might start by asking your lady if she notices it, cares about or is constantly struggling about it. If it's a problem and your lady has any backbone she will tell you. But I warn you, be prepared for her answers. They may be stronger than you are willing to deal with.

Start by telling her you Love her and that you have this problem of not being able to talk to her. Ask for her help. She should be able to tell you what she needs from you. I know my wife lets me know if I've drifted the wrong way.

Once the first step is out of the way, learn to listen and read. By that I mean listen to the lady and then read her body language. Learn that your lady is probably the one who needs your trust more than anyone else in the world. Be close and touchable. Over the course of my married life I cannot even begin to count the number of hugs an little affections are exchanged each day. Even in the midst of the most furious battles remember the other combatant is someone you chose for your lifetime, respect that decision, embrace that decision and tell her so. Right in the middle of the fight!

Start talking "with her" not "to her". Pick common grounds or mutual concerns. Deeper topics will follow.

[zizigooloo]

Donf said all. I just wanted to add a few things. Carefully look at what she does for you over and over and what topics keep her more involved and interested in the discussions. Those are the things that it is important to her. For instance, you said she buy something for you when she is out. Certainly, she likes to be surprised by you by buying her something small or something she needs. Even if it is as cheap as an her favorite chocolate. Something that shows you were thinking of her and she is important for you.
It is same as HOW YOU TALK TO HER. First step is LISTENING to her. Don't just look at the general meaning of her sentence. Go deeper. Look at her face expression. Her tone of voice. Her feeling about what she is saying. The reason of the importance of the topic to her. Example: she is describing a memory of a BBQ day when she was child. It is not just a memory. Ask her the details. Look for why she is telling you this memory.
When you learn to go deeper to her mind you will found unlimited discussion topics to talk about...