[sequoiasempervirens]

I just turned 23 and have just begun my career this month in a respectable position in our community after finishing grad school. This summer when I was still working for a community sports program, I began seeing a coworker who is 5 1/2 years younger than me. We had worked together every summer since I was 20 and he was 15, but this summer we had the same job ranking because he got promoted, and now he is 17, turning 18 in November (he is now a freshman at the local college). To put a long story short, we fell hard for one another and left our significant others for each other. When we are together, the age difference doesn't matter. I am madly in love with him. But our parents have a problem with it and so do some of our friends. My parents say he is way too young for me and his parents say I am way too old for him, and they say they question my judgement with their son. My best friend and roommate say that we seem so happy and seem like we have so much fun together, and that age is just a number so it shouldn't matter. Other friends think its weird and creepy. Also, I am concerned that if my employer were to find out about our relationship (my new employer, we don't work together any longer) that I could get fired because I think it is technically illegal for 23 year olds and 17 year olds to have sex... I think. I would like some other people's opinions on this situation. Am I crazy to fall in love with a 17 year old when I am 23? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What happened? And IS it illegal? I cannot imagine being without him.

[J_9]

Is it illegal? It depends on where you are and what the age of consent is in you area. It is possible that it is illegal to have a sexual relationship with him, thus the possibility of you being tagged as a sexual predator for life.

I do agree with the parents though. With you being 23 and him being 17, you are in different stages in life. If you both get along though, he is either way too mature for his age, or you are way too immature for your age. He is a TEENAGER for heaven's sake. He should be focusing on high school or college, where you should already be out in the workforce by now.

[Synnen]

This is the FOURTH category you have asked the SAME question in.

I think you are already getting enough advice on this situation.

Question closed in this forum.

[Fr_Chuck]

Actually I believe J9 deleted all the other posts, this was the last one still open.

[J_9]

I have re-opened this question as I did previously delete all others.

sequoiasempervirens, please only post one question in only one category as all others will be deleted.

[Synnen]

My apologies.

I did a search of all questions asked by the OP, an saw 3 with essentially the same story. I didn't actually go TO the question.

My sincere apologies.

[Fr_Chuck]

In the mean while they posted it 3 more times, and they have been deleted also. I PM the poster telling them to stop.

[Dennis777]

Hello.

As I'm sure you know by now it is illegal for you to have any type of sexual contact with him before he is 18. Now with that said lets look at the real problems you will deal with.

The age difference is not much if you where in your 30's but when your in your 20's then it's a world of difference. Just think about how much you have matured in the last few years. The real you has developed in the last few years because you had to find yourself and move into the world. If he is with you he will never see that part of life. He will be a copy of you until there is no more you and then he will be lost.

It's not because your older then him, I would be saying the same thing if it was the Man being older.

If you honestly care for him be his friend and let him grow during the years he should be growing. If the Love is real then after he gets his schooling done and is ready to walk into the real world you can be friend and everyone will stand with you in this.

Dennis777

[smoothy]

Here is a point that can't be stressed too highly.

She has not matured emotionally yet. By the time she turns 21 she is going to be a different person... one you might find you really don't like. Few people never change from their teens through the 20's.

Assuming local laws allowed it, if you jumped into a marriage you both might find some serious resentment as she matures and changes.

Personally I'd stick with women who aren't still in the high school mindset. Get someone who has been through school and have matured into who they most likely will continue to be through the rest of their life.

Teenagers are not, and do not know who they are or who they will eventually be. They think they know everything and nobody else understands anything in that phase. Buy the time they are older they begin to understand how little they really know about life.

[ang8318]

I agree that age is only a number, to a certain extent. He is still a teenager... just got his driving license, and you are an adult. I do not want to sound judgemental but you two are in separate stages of your life... maybe it would be viewed differently if he was 25 and you were 30... but that simply isn't the case right now.

[smoothy]

ScottGem, yeah I got it mixed up which was which.. But I really don't understand a 23 year old women going after a 17 year old boy... and at 17 he still is emotionally. That even makes less sense than a 23 year old guy chasing a 17 year old high school girl.