[mamisapphire]

I need your help. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I really love him very much. He loves me but not the same as he used to love me very much. I live in pa and he lives in nyc. I have been through so much with him. He had drug problem and he asked me for my helps. I helped him and took him to rehab to get help. He was clean and sober for 9 months. Few months ago, we were in big agruement. He was out of control like I never seen him really very rage. I got scared and begged him to let me go. But he beat me up for the first time. I found out that he is back on drug again. He never told me that he went back on drug. I wish he warned me before and it will never happen. Now, I found out more about him doing behind on my back. He always lied to me. I always contact him every days 24/7 but he is being avoid me and teling me all lies. What am I suppose to do? I really love him very very much. The 3 years with him was great and wonderful then this year is getting out of control. He don't like if I found out what he did in nyc and he get mad at me. I know he is lying to me and deny on everything. He have my bank card and he get the money even I don't have enough money in. I support him, my daughter, and myself. I felt that he took my money for drugs. And what is more that I heard now he have 3 women. One is his baby mom, two is me, three is other girl. I think he needs 3 women. Because he need a place to live with his baby mom, he need me for my money and he need other women for sex. What is your suggest? Leave him? I'm afraid of him, yes... he abuse me, verbally abuse, ofc I'm afraid to leave him, I worry if something will happen to me if I leave him. He is latins king. He threat me one time if I leave him or do something to him, his queens sister will go after me. I'm scared. I need your help:(

[crue_boo]

Hi it seems to me that you have tried what you can do to help him through the drugs. I am also familiar with drugs and its not a good thing when people get out of control!! If you really love him... I suggest you try and try and try to help him be the way he used to be... until you give up. Tell him your love for him and that you can't be without him. Try to see if you can live with him! If nothing changes... you should defenitly leave him, and if anything happens just call the police. Chances are.. you're going to get a threat before anything happens.. and that will give you time to make your choice and tell someone and smarten him up. I feel really bad because I know what its like to love something that makes you upset. :( Good luck babe

[Homegirl 50]

You need to get away from him. Does your father know what's going on? Tell him.

[mamisapphire]

I have tried to help him and I have tried to talk him. He won't listen to me. I know because he is on drug and he don't care what he is doing. I have told him many times that he is in wrong crowd. I have told him that he can move in here to live with me and ill help find a job for him so he can stay away from his friends and drugs. He can't leave nyc, he wanted me to move back to nyc. I don't want to leave here. I have a apartment, I have a better job here. I'm trying so hard wit him. He knows I love him very much. I thought about leave him and get order of protection. I hate to leave him like that. If I do, I will worry about his life. He is trying to change his life, but his bad habit is drugs!! It is so hard! Maybe I can talk him if I can help him to go back to rehab to get help again. I hate to see him going through again like that.

You need to get away from him. Does your father know what's going on? Tell him.
No, my father disowned me for 2 years. Eventhrough my family don't know much about my boyfriend and I.

[Dennis777]

Hello.

You can't help him if he doesn't want the help. Tell him your done with the lies from him, your done giving him money, if he wants to be with you and only you then he has to go back to rehab and prove he is going to get his act together. If not then your gone. If you have to get an order of protection form him and his family do it. You have to live your life not his.

Dennis777

[Homegirl 50]

Girl you seem to be so worried about him, what about your life? You either leave him or end up dead. He is a loser and will drag you down with him. Get out of there.

[mamisapphire]

I wrote him this afternoon.

I've always wondered what would it feel like to be with you forever. I don't even know are you worth it or not. I know these so much a ton of things just sneaking behind my back. I'm not saying with a girl or with drugs. I know something because I'm not stupid. I don't want my life wasted but the fact is the way I feel not in love with you that I don't know what to do. But keep myself strong. I don't want to be with you but I'm saying I don't know what to do. All I know is I don't want be taking as a fool. Because that I'm not but what more can I do but I sit here and wonder what happening in my life. Where is it going? I don't want to waste my life again. I don't want to make other mistakes and make myself a such loser again. I'm afraid to get hurt or ruin my life. I always wanted us to meant to each others. I want no such fool myself again. It hurted few times and it is been enough. I hate to get hurt and hate to fix my heart back together from pieces. Of course I do really love you very much. I wanted us to be together. My heart belongs to you. Your heart belongs to whom? So are you search for other women that you want to be with or just be with me.


He replied me and told me he wanted to be with me. He loves me and I told him I had enough with all his lies. He told me he have a surprise for me and I begged him to tell me. He won't tell me or I will get too exciting. My best friend is going to find out what is his surprise for me. I hope he is planning to move in with me. As he told me that his probation will expires in oct. I'm waiting for my best friend to find out what is it. And she will let me know asap. It is hard for me to leave him.

[kt1205]

If he beat you up then you need to stay away from him. U should go to counciling to help you leave him and stay away from him. Your not safe with him if he will act this way.

[musicfreak]

Hi listen bottom line get rid of him period yes you had a couple good years but that's over and your stuck on loving someone that doesn't exist anymore your loving the past look at him now for who he is and what he is and chances are you wouldn't give him a second look in public especially if you knew all the baggage he comes with , you sound like a nice caring person who deserves a whole lot more then this punk can give and if he hit you once he will do it again maybe not now or tomorrow but it will happen and if your afraid of him get a restraining order change your numbers block his email etc you have to move on in a while you will be wondering what the hell you ever saw in him in the first place believe me you will be happy maybe not right away but soon after and for a long time because now you know how to spot mr wrong but whatever you do don't go back it's a timebomb waiting to explode hon and you don't need it life is way too short good luck sweetie and once you get rid of him I promise you it will feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted from your back best of luck
Xfighter
Ps any man who hits or abuses a woman has serious problems women are amazing and should be cherished the best thing god ever made was a woman and you all should be placed on pedestals and treated like the princesses you are don't settle for anything less

[crue_boo]

;) Wow musicfreak what's your number? Hah just kidding.
Yea girl but seriously... only you will know what's going on with him... only you know if he can change... only you know! You have to think about this. They are totally right that an abuser shouldn't be in a relationship with a nice girl like you... but not all abusers stay abusers... its hard to explain but I know where you're coming from. You seem to love this guy very much and have some faith (faith has to come from somewhere) because anyone else in this situation probably would have left him by now. You know that you'll be safe if you leave him.. so stop the excuses... I think the problem really is... you know somewhere inside him, there's a sweet loving man that needs you, and needs you to need him. Like I said... keep trying, BUT that does not mean stop your life and focus on him. NO. Break up with him, or "take time off"... and make sure you let him know why. Let him know that you need him and he better smarten up and take care of you, or he's really going to lose you. Let him know peoples thoughts of him and his actions, and that you have been having all this faith in him all this time that he will one day be back to himself. Let him know that drugs are to have fun, not be a bully (drugs shouldn't even be touched)... what kind of drugs is he doing anyway. Some people haven't seen true love yet... I know I have, and I see that you have too. Marriage represents love, and when you marry, you promise to love through sickness and health, good times and bad. These are bad time girl, but no one ever said that once things get bad, there's no hope in things getting better!

One thing, if he ever in any way makes you REALLY believe that he is going to harm you or kill you... leave him, but still tell him what you think, and let him know that you're open arms whenever he gets out of this silly faze. You know what... its plain immaturity!

[Homegirl 50]

I think you are not thinking. The man is on drugs, he's been in jail, he has beat you up in the past, you're afraid of him. Now what does all of that tell you? Love has nothing to do with being stupid. Get a brain and get out of that mess.

[musicfreak]

I know you care for him but honestly your worth more then this you have given him many chances to get it right and he hasn't and won't as long as he knows he can do as he pleases and there is no way he will get better with you in the picture anyway he needs to seek help and he has to do it for him not you or anyone else but in the meantime you cannot live like this life is too short to be unhappy like this , the fact that you're here means your ready for a change so don't hesitate do it now, every second more you spend on this is a second more you could have been happy or at the very least on your way to happiness.You have a great thing ahead of you now taking back the control of your life it will all work out if you take the first step but to stay trapped in this mess is to guarantee your unhappiness,email me if you need any help at all I would be glad to lend a hand .good luck
XFIGHTER

[talaniman]

Sorry you cannot help him, and are in danger of being dragged through hell and worse, so get the heck away from him.

[mamisapphire]

hey y'all thank you for all your support n advices. Right now I need some time for myself to think about it and I need to focus on myself n my life. Again, thank you =)

[crue_boo]

Hey... remember what i said to you before okay? You could have just come on here to have someone agree with you in your heart that he deserves ANOTHER chance. Im not saying that he does and im not saying that he doesnt.... i think you need to decide...and again like i said, think about what will hurt you more? the pain of leaving the man you obviously Love, or the pain of waiting and hoping for him to be him again. What will be more rewarding? The happiness of having the love of your life in your arms, or the happiness of leaving this stress and moving on. Remember, this world is full of possibilities and miracles. Im not one to give up on something special....everyone is a sinner...but anyone can change if they're dedicated to the reward, which is you. Make sure you let him know how much of a reward you will be. Baby if you want him..try until you've made your choice to stop. You'll know when the time comes to you. Follow your heart is always the most acurate way to go :)

[Homegirl 50]

Your heart can tell you that you love someone that is no good for you. You need to use your head. This man is poison, and poison can smell good and taste good, but be deadly.