Check out some similar questions!

crue_boo · Sep 1, 2007, 05:33 PM

My boyfriend and I love each other very much, but we fight fight fight. Sometimes our fights get violent (because of me) and we're not even 17... Our problem is that we are so in love.. or so in HATE! We live together not temporarily... and.. I don't know what to do anymore. We've been together for a year and 3 months and I've tried dumping him because we fight so much.. but.. I cannot be without him for more than 5 minutes. He's such a nice and respectful guy but really in control of MY money. He's my first relationship that lasted more than 3 weeks... Before him, I never even believed in love.. I thought it was just BS. So is it love? Is it worth it? Or should I try finding someone new? :(

J_9 · Sep 1, 2007, 05:37 PM

Wow, I have counted SOOOO many red flags in this post already!! This is not love, it is abuse.

My boyfriend and I love each other very much, but we fight fight fight

This is NOT love.

Sometimes our fights get violent

This is abuse.

Our problem is that we are so in love.. or so in HATE!

Come on now, which one is it? You can't be in love AND in hate.

He's such a nice and respectful guy but really in control of MY money

That is a major contradiction in terms. He can't respect you if he controls you.

Girl, this is an abusive relationship and is sure to get worse if you stay in it.

crue_boo · Sep 1, 2007, 05:41 PM

Wow you guys answer fast! No but when I said our fights get violent... but because of me... I mean.. ME gets violent but he just deals with it. And he IS really lovable and amazing... but when it comes to it... hes just spoiled brat and wants what I work for. Shouldn't that be worth giving him a chance to work on?

J_9 · Sep 1, 2007, 05:44 PM

Then you are the one who is abusive and he should leave you. Sorry, but sometimes the truth hurts. Abuse is abuse, doesn't matter who does it, it's illegal.

More red flags. He's a spoiled brat, wants what YOU work for and you abuse him.

This is NOT a healthy relationship by any means.

kt1205 · Sep 1, 2007, 05:44 PM

Me and my boyfriend were always fighting. After we weren't aloud to see each other for a few months we realized what it was like without each other and now we never fight. He's also a real respecful guy and he's tried breaking up with me but I NEVER gave up. Even if I wanted to give up and were still together. So if you love him a lot and think that things can work out. Try your best on everything. Don't give up. Maybe try a little break in which you both are togther but don't talk as much. There were times with my boyfriend when it was like why are we together ? All we do is fight. There's no love. But after the break things got so much better and we no longer fight everyday. It's been about 3 or 4 months since any of that's happened

kt1205 · Sep 1, 2007, 05:49 PM

I don't know if he lies.

kt1205 · Sep 1, 2007, 05:56 PM

In those pictures, you 2 look like you would make a good couple. Have you tried to work things out?

crue_boo · Sep 1, 2007, 07:13 PM

Thanks.. hey you are the same person who was talking to me about my poor little baby kitten :(.. but yea we try to break up.. but every time we break up.. within minutes we end up just wanting each other more. And NO no one is abusing anyone! :mad: Me and him both know that my slaps don't hurt :o... lol... and yes it is a problem that he tries to take over my money... but if couples listened to your advice... no one would ever get married! :p

Homegirl 50 · Sep 1, 2007, 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by crue_boo

thanks..hey you are the same person who was talking to me about my poor little baby kitten :(.. but yea we try to break up..but every time we break up ..within minutes we end up just wanting eachother more. and NO no one is abusing anyone!!:mad: Me and him both know that my slaps dont hurt :o ...lol... and yes it is a problem that he tries to take over my money... but if couples listened to your advice...no one would ever get married! :p

This is an insane an volatile relationship. You a 17 year old girl ,he 15. You slap him, he controls your money. How are you on your own living together?
Girl if couples have a dating relationship like that they'd be fools to get married. And why are you slapping him at all? You both need some serious help.

kt1205 · Sep 1, 2007, 07:36 PM

That's how me and my boyfriend are. Only he's the one always wanting to break up. And even if I'm okay with it which usually I'm not, he'll call the next day and say "so im glad to see your taking the break up well" but really he's just trying to find a way to talk to me again and we never really break up.

crue_boo · Sep 1, 2007, 10:49 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

This is an insane an volatile relationship. You a 17 year old girl ,he 15. You slap him, he controls your money. How are you on your own living together?
Girl if couples have a dating relationship like that they'd be fools to get married. And why are you slapping him at all? you both need some serious help.

I understand your comment.. but I'm 16 and he's 15. We don't live on our own... he lives with me and my family because his parents split up recently and his family is breaking apart. He only controls the $4.00 in tips I make every day at work because I haven't even been paid yet. He doesn't have a job yet because he had to quit the one he WAS at because he had to move away into my town and my home. I slap him because he deserves it, and we both know why we do the things we do, and we understand where we are coming from,. its just a matter of handling it so young. Like living with my boyfriend at 16 is not that good of an idea but he has no where else to go.
Lol sheesh I guess I shouldn't ask questions unless I get my story completely aline.

kt1205 · Sep 1, 2007, 11:19 PM

Honestly I think you should stay with him. Unless things get too bad. But my boyfriend and I have been through several fights and things can get better.just try to work things out and whatevers causing you to fight try to stop it

Homegirl 50 · Sep 2, 2007, 05:57 AM

Originally Posted by crue_boo

I understand your comment.. but im 16 and hes 15. we dont live on our own... he lives with me and my family because his parents split up recently and his family is breaking apart. He only controls the $4.00 in tips i make every day at work because i havnt even been paid yet. He doesnt have a job yet because he had to quit the one he WAS at because he had to move away into my town and my home. I slap him because he deserves it, and we both know why we do the things we do, and we understand where we are comming from,....its just a matter of handling it so young. Like living with my boyfriend at 16 is not that good of an idea but he has no where else to go.
Lol sheesh i guess i shouldnt ask questions unless i get my story completely aline.

Gilr slapping someone is abuse. It dosen't matter why you do it. You are an abuser and there is something wrong with him for allowing it. And why are your parents allowing your boyfriend to live with you two?
This whole situation is insane.

berrysweetncgurl · Sep 2, 2007, 06:27 AM

Wow this is a strange relationship
Girl take my advice, I am 23 I have a couple of years on you and I have been in some really bad relationships
If it is bad now think about 5 years down the road when you 2 really get used to slapping each other around, Don't get pregnant whatever you do
You think he controls your money now? Think about if you are out of work pregnant and he is the only one raking in any dough, you think he controls the money now? Wait until he is actually the one having to take care of you (by the way if he is 15, I don't see him growing up anytime soon)
Good luck but you need to be a kid, you both need to quit trying to be so grown because when you do get older you are going to regret not living your teenage years to the fullest.

J_9 · Sep 2, 2007, 07:45 AM

So, you think slapping is okay? Most law enforcement people don't agree with that. It is a crime called Domestic Violence, yes, even a little slap can land you behind bars.

talaniman · Sep 2, 2007, 01:19 PM

You two love the drama but abuse cannot make a relationship work and you should not be together. You both need counseling.

J_9 · Sep 2, 2007, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by crue_boo

I slap him because he deserves it,

At 16 you think "slapping" him is cute to get your way. It's NOT, it's abuse. Putting your hands on another person in anger or frustration is abuse, plain and simple. Hun, if you think anyone deserves to get "slapped" you need some counseling in anger management. Does your mother slap your father? Does your father slap your mother?

NO ONE DESERVES TO GET SLAPPED!!

Originally Posted by crue_boo

He only controls the $4.00 in tips i make every day at work

You ONLY make $4 a day in tips? Not the best job in the world is it? He controls that money because you let him.

This is very obviously an abusive relationship. Be careful, it WILL escillate, you may even be facing some jail time if you don't keep your hands to yourself.

berrysweetncgurl · Sep 2, 2007, 03:06 PM

It pretty much sounds like to me that this post is her way of justifying the slapping

talaniman · Sep 2, 2007, 03:47 PM

Dysfuntional people who need help is the way I see this whole thing.

Treeny · Sep 2, 2007, 04:39 PM

You seem like you don't really want to hear the truth you want to here what you want to hear.
You are young you should not be so serious any way, how will you know if he is the one if you don't date and have other boyfriends first? You should not let him have anything to do with your money you are not married. What do your parents say?