[sweetlady7]

I have never been married, never engaged... I'm in my thirties, educated, very successful career, more than one person has told me that I'm the nicest person that they have ever met, and I've been told that I'm attractive all my life... blah, blah, blah Somehow love has eluded me. There have been times when I've avoided it altogether because I didn't want to get my feelings hurt again. Most recently once again I met someone out of the blue, and once again it didn't work out (never really got started). I am discouraged and don't even want to try. My friends, relatives and co-workers don't help because they keep saying that no one is good enough. How can I keep from losing all hope?

[GlindaofOz]

Well would you rather be single or be married to the wrong person and stuck in a miserable marriage?

Are you maybe sabotaging yourself in these relationships? Are your standards really high? Where are you meeting people? Are you out there trying? Have you tried dating sites? Speed dating? Matchmakers? There is always hope and always another avenue you just have to work at it. If you want something in your life I'm sure you go for it so why not this?

[sweetlady7]

I do have high standards, but I don't think they are overly high. I don't want just anyone - being alone is better than that. I have barely tried a dating site... honestly I found it depressing. Thanks for the answer.

[GlindaofOz]

I would give it another shot. My brother met his wife on eharmony. She is his perfect match in every way. He has high standards and decided that he wanted to meet someone. So he signed up for eharmony and approached it like business. He went out with everyone who he was matched with and spent a month or two just dating everyone then narrowed it down to three girls and then to his lovely wife. You never know.

Also a lot of cities have matchmakers that work with successful people like yourself and match them with other high caliber individuals.

[nicespringgirl]

Aw... sweetlady7, pull a chair, hugs... tears... laughters...
We are def. sisters! :)
I feel the same thing as you do!!

[nicespringgirl]

I have never been married, never engaged

I have never had a boyfriend,I am 23

educated, very successful career, more than one person has told me that I'm the nicest person that they have ever met, and I've been told that I'm attractive all my life... blah, blah, blah Somehow love has eluded me.

EXACTLY LIKE ME!

There have been times when I've avoided it altogether because I didn't want to get my feelings hurt again.

Most recently once again I met someone out of the blue, and once again it didn't work out (never really got started).

I went to couple dates just movies and hang out but didn't work out, they think I am overqualified, I was a little bit hurt.
I met a guy who is in Cambridge now a year ago, didn't work out either.

I am discouraged and don't even want to try. My friends, relatives and co-workers don't help because they keep saying that no one is good enough.

Same here, everyone thinks there is no one is good enough for me.

HUGS!

WHat are we going to do stweety7??

[sweetlady7]

I wish I knew what to say to you... you are actually young (that isn't helpful though, is it?).
Oh "I look younger when I smile ;)", I still get carded everywhere, and I'm 37.

[nicespringgirl]

I think guys like us, but they are a little bit intimidated...
And they don't really admit it.

I am young, but there is not one single person I know that have never had a boyfriend by the age of 23. I basically never dated only two dates in my whole life. So total should be about 4 hours. Period.

:D Hey do we work at the same place? U work for global 500?

[GlindaofOz]

I'm 28 and only one of my friends is engaged. The rest of us have no boyfriends and we always have a hard time meeting quality guys. I feel like my standards are that high I just want someone who matches me. Is it so wrong to want someone who is ambitious, mentally and emotionally healthy, funny, smart and close to their family oh and they can't smoke or do drugs. But I feel the pinch from people. Its like they always ask why you aren't seeing anyone in a way that says "what' wrong with YOU?".

I tried everything however I recently moved and I'm considering trying it all over again. I had little success with online dating when I lived in NY. I think that guys in Jersey are a little less stuck up and jerky then New Yorkers. I would love to have a great result like my brother.

[nicespringgirl]

I don't really trust online dating. NOt the site but the people. It seems like everyone is perfect,lol. Ppl can hide stuff during advertising themselves.

[GlindaofOz]

Yeah but you usually figure that stuff out in the first few dates. Some stuff people can't really hide. Some people have no social skills which you can figure out in the first phone call. Some people are crazy which you can usually tell from their profiles. Its all about reading between the lines.

[nicespringgirl]

My concern is what if he has mental problem, or a rapist, therefore, I won't even go meet them. Not even one date...

[GlindaofOz]

That's why you meet them in a public place and have an "escape clause". I never leave the place where we met with anyone. I will only meet people where I'm familiar. I talked to one guy who kept insisting that I come by him for our first date and it made me so uncomfortable I blocked him. You just have to be smart about it I've employed friends to go to the same place with me. Now I'm more comfortable with it. I've known a decent amount of people who have gotten married or found boyfriends so it has to work sometimes, right?

[nicespringgirl]

Yes, I will do all these. It does work out for some people.
And I am also afraid that what if he likes me too much, end up being a stalker.
I had couple stalkers in college before, I had to call cops on them!!

[GlindaofOz]

Oh jeez! That's really scary. Its not for everyone that's for sure. I have friends who won't touch online dating with a 10 foot pole! So you aren't alone in that.

I sometimes just wish all great eligible guys were somehow corralled into one space and we could all just spring on it and find some awesome guys!

[nicespringgirl]

Glinda,I'd date you if you were a gentleman... you pretty much meet my requirements,:D

:D

[GlindaofOz]

You too! Why can't more men be like us??

[Ash123]

can you take this short survey?


1) describe your relationship with your father
2) did you date much in high-school/college
3) are you comfortable in a swimsuit
4) describe your last boyfriend
5) what do you do for fun on the weekend
6) what do you do for a living
7) what do you do for fun? Hobbies? Passions?
8) what type of guys do you like?
9) what's your favorite movie/book
10) what age did you think marriage was for you?

Standing by --

[GlindaofOz]

1) my father is mentally unstable and has been out of my life since I was a kid
2) Yes. Long term relationships
3) Yes
4) Very appreciative and respectful of me.
5) Hang with family and friends, run in the park, shop, rock climb, play bar trivia, wine tasting
6) Own my own business - it's a personal growth business for women
7) I love to knit, crochet and sew. I love rock climbing and working out. I'm killer at pop culture trivia. I'm passionate about the work that I do helping people especially women is my life.
8) I like men who are ambitious, confident, love their life, are mentally and emotionally sound, funny, laid back, outdoorsy, intelligent and who are close with their families.
9) Favorite books are The Mists of Avalon, The Wizard of Oz, Eat Pray Love
10) Around 26 (I'm now 28)

I can't wait for Ash to tabulate these results

[Suelle383]

I've had great results on online dating as well as some of my friends. You just have to be patient and have fun with it. And remember, give people a chance. Don't base everything on that one initial date or one e-mail... someone love/attraction needs to grow. I mean it shouldn't take that long. After a couple of dates, you should know whether you're into the person. Just don't put so much pressure on that one first meeting.