[hdawson1]

First off, I'm 26 and my hubby is 34. We've been together for 5 years and have 2 babies together. The problem is, he is very disinterested in sex. We have sex on average about once a month or once every two months! He works long hours out in the heat and I'm sure that zaps his sex drive during the week. Also, he has gained a little weight over the years (about 25 lbs) Not that I care, I'm still just as attracted to him as I ever have been. My question is, on the weekends, any suggestions for me to get him more in the mood. I'm willing to try anything to get our spark back!! I've tried dirty pictures, hinting around, and just flat out asking for it. All to no avail! I'm not thinking about leaving him, but a little bit more nookie would be nice!

[Dennis777]

Hello.

How about making his day / night a little more exciting. The next time you go to the mall or out to dinner wear a dress with nothing under it. Don't tell him until your out of the car in the parking lot walking in. Whisper to him that your naked under your dress just for him. If you can do it, give him a quick flash of your bottom or take his hand and let him feel that your naked under your dress. During the outing make sure you remind him in any way you can that its all for him but not until you get home. Make him wait as long as you can before you go home, even if you have to stop at a few quick stops to get something. If he is alive he will be so worked up by the time you get home he will be wanting to take you in the car on the way home hehehe.

If you want more just let me know.

Dennis777

[hdawson1]

Tried it before. No luck. Any more suggestions?

[smoothy]

You need to find out what turns him on the most... everyone has their triggers. Like someone here recently said drop him a note... tell him you aren't wearing socks... and your underwear matches. If he packs a lunch slip it in there.

Its hard to guess not knowing what sort of things turns him on.

[Dennis777]

If my last idea didn't work (and it has brought back the spark in a lot of couples I have help over the years) we need to look at this in another way.

Is he on any kind of med's. Has he had a real complete check over from a doctor in the last few years. Many times the lack of sex drive is from med's or a medical problem.

The chances of it being him not finding you sexy or him being tired or lazy doesn't hold true if your doing special sexy things for him. Men react with their lower head at any age so if your flirting with him he will react, Trust Me.

Dennis777

[ballengerb1]

Not a doctor but 25 lbs in 5 years and loss of sex drive sounds like there are less obvious issues here. Has anything happened to him that could contribute to depression?

[PippaSW]

Hi hdawson,

Well you could start the day off with some sexy texts to him (telling him all of the things you would like to do to him/him to you). Than get a sitter, meet him at the door in your best teddy. Take him to shower, help him in the shower ;-). Than take him to the bedroom, and make all of the texts that you sent that morning come true. **Just remember, it doesn't have to happen on a day that he works, you could do it on the weekend also.**
Just send him to the store or something, so that you can text him. Or for that matter, write it out in an e-mail, send it to him... that way he has something to look forward to on the weekend!

Just some thoughts, hope things work out for you!

[hdawson1]

If my last idea didn't work (and it has brought back the spark in a lot of couples i have help over the years) we need to look at this in another way.

Is he on any kind of med's. Has he had a real complete check over from a doctor in the last few years. many times the lack of sex drive is from med's or a medical problem.

The chances of it being him not finding you sexy or him being tired or lazy doesn't hold true if your doing special sexy things for him. Men react with their lower head at any age so if your flirting with him he will react, Trust Me.

Dennis777

No he's not on any meds. He's always been very modest when it comes to his body... even when we first started dating. For example, if we took a shower together it was with the lights off. Do you think he's lack in libido may have something to do with a low self esteem?

[PippaSW]

Well a low self esteem could hurt anyone's sex drive. And you did say that he put on some weight, sooooo that could be the answer to the problem.
If that is the case, than all you can do is try to make him feel better about himself. But don't do it too much, cause than he may catch on to what your doing and it may make his esteem even lower.

[hdawson1]

Ok, so here's an update... we're getting a sitter for Saturday for the whole night. We're going to have dinner at our favorite restaunt and club, then we're getting a room at the marriot. Friday, I'm going to Fredricks of Hollywood(to get something naughty) and getting one of those body wraps(that make you lose inches). If this doesn't work I don't know what I'm going to do!!

[PippaSW]

Ok, so here's an update....we're getting a sitter for Saturday for the whole night. We're going to have dinner at our favorite restaunt and club, then we're getting a room at the marriot. Friday, I'm going to Fredricks of Hollywood(to get something naughty) and getting one of those body wraps(that make you lose inches). If this doesn't work I don't know what I'm going to do!!!

Go for it and I hope you have a great night!
Keep us updated!

[hdawson1]

Thanks for all the help. I'll let you know

[Dennis777]

I bet your going to knock his socks off and other things hehehhe... Have Fun

Maybe try to make the night about him and how special he makes you feel. With a little luck it could pull him out of his shell and get him to see that he is as much of a man as any of us in his own way.

Dennis777

[hdawson1]

I bet your going to knock his socks off and other things hehehhe... Have Fun

Maybe try to make the night about him and how special he makes you feel. With a little luck it could pull him out of his shell and get him to see that he is as much of a man as any of us in his own way.

Dennis777

Oh, believe me he is a man... when I can get him out of his funk!:D
I can't wait!

[hdawson1]

I thought I would post a pic of me and the hubby.

[Dennis777]

Wooooooooooooooo Hooooooooooo you're a HoTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTy

Have fun

[smoothy]

I agree, hot, hot hot... having very impure thoughts here... There is definitely nothing wrong with how you are looking at all.

I'm not sure what his issue is, it could be medical, it could be stress. Has he recently had a complete physical? Maybe High blood pressure or some pre-diabetic symptoms he isn't aware of. Does he seem at all depressed. You look great in the picture, While my wife is way above average for her age (early 40's, and looks great in a string bikini) she isn't as hot you you look but still that doesn't stop her from getting me excited real easy. And she doesn't need to resort to any tricks.

There is also the kids thing. Some guys and some women get put off their horny feelings if kids are close (even in the next room) or they can hear them. Is he that type. Once a month is a real problem. There has to be a good reason for it at his age.

[hdawson1]

OK so the night didn't go well, obviously if I'm sitting in front of my computer at 1245 in the morning crying my eyes out. We went out to dinner and came home and all of a sudden he felt "sick". So, he's a asleep and I'm left wondering what the hell is wrong with me! I don't understand! I think I'm a fairly decent looking chic, and it seems that quite a few men think so. I work my butt off at the gym to stay in the best shape possible (for him) and nothing comes from it! I feel sooo insecure about myself and our relationship I don't know what to do!!

[Bkegg]

Hey dawson I feel for you girl believe it or not but I'm in the same situation. My wife of 3 years says she is have emtional issues. I think it is bull and I don't know what to do either. I also have 2 kids, work 6 days a week, and still lift weights because once I put on 15 pound and she decided that I wasn't looking to hot anymore. She says she loves me all the time but after awhile I get the feeling she is just lying to me. Some people are so selfish that either don't realize or just flat out don't care that the make their partners feel like pieces of crap.

I'm sorry I don't know what is problem is hopefully it gets worked out. I know what I'm going to do there is fixing to be a fight because it is just not fair. Maybe it can resolve something. Communitcation is key right?

[sarhbear201]

If your hubby isn't feeling good about himself at the moment mayb you could encourage him to go to the gym with you or something like that... the confidence he gets bak might boost his sex drive... good luck!!