[NeedsHOPE]

Why are some people so cynical when it comes to reconciliations?
My parents split up for three years before I was born, got back together, got married and stayed married for 30 yrs until he died 10 yrs ago..

[hair2007]

That's a great story, glad to hear it too. Sorry for his passing. I think some of us wish that could happen. In my case I've tried I was always there getting back, I guess it depends on the love you have for each other, if only one has it, it doesn't end up this way... ( ;

[MissingHim2Much]

I know that I don't want to get back and breakup over and over but once would at least let me know that we tried everything to make it work. To know we gave it one more chance

[shygrneyzs]

Why are people so cynical about reconciliation? Mostly because people do not change much. Patterns of behavior such as adultery rarely change for the better. It takes a real concentrated effort to modify behavior and keep it modified.

Also the trust factor - once a person breaks the bond of trust, it is not easy to regain that. Like that old saying, "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." People become guarded and often, for good reasons.

[Chery]

Dear needs...

It is possible, but takes longer than it does to ignore the past and start a new life.

If I loved someone and felt that a breakup would help us both grow and mature to the point that we both want to try again, it would probably work.

Your parents were lucky enough to find a great solution and kept their love alive. Not all couples are willing and/or able to do this.

There are probably satistics to prove it works, but they are not as popular as those that don't work.

I'm very glad it happened in your lifetime and helps you keep the faith.

[Ash123]

Why did they break?

What brought them back?

Who is cynical?

[Dennis777]

Hello.

Many couples break up and get back together. It depends on why they break up and if they learn from the problems before they get back together. The biggest reason couples don't stay together after a break up is they try to get back together without dealing with all the past problems. You will never make it through the future problems if you are still dealing with the past.

Dennis777

[s_cianci]

As you will read often on this forum, "it's broke for a reason." In other words, when a breakup occurs, it happens for a reason. Things didn't work out. So yes, it's natural to be somewhat skeptical in that, if it didn't work out before, what makes you think it's going to work out this time? You're still you and the other person is still who they are. Nobody is going to change overnight and, when you come right down to it, shouldn't just for the sake of appeasing a love interest. I personally think that one's time and emotional energy are better spent seeking out relationships with people with whom there is true compatibility rather than trying to "force" something to work out when the compatibility just isn't there.

[stilllearning]

I can't see why people don't work it out more. Its only logical. You spend years of good times, bad times hopes, dreams so there must be something there even if by defualt. Couples need to get into counseling more often together and separate.

Most breakups IMO are caused from unresolved issues from the past and not the relationship itself.

[MissingHim2Much]

I don't think my breakup had as much to do with my issues as it did his. We always got along and he seemed very happy with me. It almost seems like he has some issues he's trying to figure out in his own head that have nothing to do with me. So I think a reconciliaton could be possible if he figures things out. So I'm not cynical about it, I believe in it

[Chery]

Why did they break?

What brought them back?

Who is cynical?

They didn't beak. They got together, gave birth to the OP, and stayed together until one passed away. Please read the initial post so that you get the whole picture.

[Jiser]

Most people here are the dumpees. Although some hold a desire to have reconciliation, as said previously people become guarded. + It doesn't happen much at all, best to the leave past where it is! If you hold on to it... your never be healthy.

[talaniman]

It takes two healthy people to make a healthy relationship, and they must be compatible and willing to do the things it takes to make it work. Immaturity and confusion, often will keep two people from growing together. Nowadays I think people get involved to fast, and to deep before they figure their feelings out as attraction, and lust are as powerful as love, but doesn't last as long and can't sustain a relationship over time. Many just take the easy way out. Sometimes its all about just being lucky.

[Ash123]

They didn't beak. They got together, gave birth to the OP, and stayed together until one passed away. Please read the inital post so that you get the whole picture.

I was referring to the thread title post.