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SwingCEO · Aug 2, 2007, 11:42 PM

OK, so my soulmate and I got married when he was in the hospital. It wasn't a real marriage though... no officient. THe officent was Everybody Loves Raymond on TV. The witnesses were the patients in the hospital. THe ceremony lasted about 5 minutes. He took my hand and took my Claddaugh ring off my finger (which was in the fiancé position) and put it back on in the married position. I looked him in the eyes with tears in mine and asked, "what was that for?" He simply replied, "we had to do it sometime". I like to think of it as a "hieros gamos". I was so happy. Two and a half weeks later he was dead. I can't change my last name because we weren't legally married, but I want to honor him by changing my middle name to his last name. Is that possible? Can I do that? How?

PLease help me make peace with my late husband. We may not have a piece of paper to prove our marriage. But we were married all the same.

~the nameless widow

go-ask-mom · Aug 3, 2007, 12:51 AM

I suppose you can change your name to almost anything you want... especially with the help of a good atty. I would contact one and go from there if this is something you really want to do.

A friend of mine raised her niece, and when she turned 18 she wanted to take their last name. I know it cost them $300 to have it done, but it was well worth it to them. If I remember right, it seems at the time she had to write something out as to "why" she wanted her last name changed... and this was submitted to the judge along w/other paperwork. It may have just been because of her young age- 18.

With you only wanting the middle name changed, I wonder if you still have to go through thr hassle of getting everything changed... SS card, drivers license, bank accts. work forms and on and on... what a hassle! Lol!

LearningAsIGo · Aug 3, 2007, 05:42 AM

First of all, I'm heartbroken to hear of your loss. I'm so so sorry to hear such a terrible thing has happened to you. I can't imagine how much it must hurt your right now. :( {{HUGS}}

Secondly, I think you have a lovely idea to honor him and I'm sure he's smiling down upon you.
I'm not sure where you're from, but my county webpage lists what is necessary to change a name. You have to fill out certain paperwork to be seen before a judge to grant your request to change. Once he/she does (why wouldn't he?? ) then you just fill out a few more forms... plus there may be a charge.

Good luck to you.