[bobert20]

Ok to start, I'm 20 and She's 20. She has a 2 year old son. He means the world to her.

I was just insane about her, she's perfect. Everything I want in a woman plus much more, she's affectionate, she cares a lot. I gave her butterflies and she melted every time we kissed. I was In heaven. Everything was going great. I messed up on a few notes though. She had left me, and went on to someone else. She knew him before hand, they dated for about a week and he left for the army. She says she waiting on him. So that's where we stand right now, I'm going to explain in detail what happened and caused us to get where we are.

First off I thought I could deal with her having a child, but as I got further into the relationship it was getting harder. I have never actually had to take on the Father role before. It scared me a lot, I got to know him more started to fall for him. I started to realize he's an awesome little boy, and she's the best mommy ever! Well before that, I drifted away, I stayed to myself and thought everything over. I talked to everyone I know. My parents and everyone of my friends, trying to see what I could do. I was away for about a week, I would talk to her but wouldn't see her. She got sick and wanted me to take care of her, I should have but I didn't. I didn't want to get sick in fear of losing my job. I really tried, I really wanted to take on this relationship, and take on the father role. I really wanted to be a part of his life, in fact I still do. I know I'm ready for this.

The second mistake, I joined a dating site, that's how I met her. We talked a few times and we decided to meet face to face. I knew it as soon as I saw her She was it. I think she felt the same way, just by the look in her eyes. Well the problem with the dating site was I met more people along with her, So I decided to date around. I was talking to more than her, she knew that. We were just friends, She was the only one I met though. I drove everyone else off but one person. That one person was dating someone at the time, and she's over 2 hours away. I had no intentions of dating her, but I kept leading her on, kept her around just in case things didn't work out between me and the first girl. Well Things went well, I just didn't commit. I stayed the night, a few times. She held me so tight, she caressed me, she loved the fact I was there. Another reason I drifted was to lose the one on the phone, but I couldn't I enjoyed talkig to her so much, she helped me with a lot of stuff. Helped me feel better about my situation. I should have let her go as soon as I met my dream woman, but I didn't. Again I never even met the phone girl.

Well Right after My dream girl left me for Army dude, I told phone girl about it. I was In tears. I was upset and destroyed. She says' she sooooo happy with him, but she still wants to be friends with me, because I'm awesome. I'm a great person and she can't lose me. I agreed, but I messed that up because of my strong feelings towards her, every time I talked to her or was with her. I put her on a guilt trip about being with him, and I tried to show her I really felt the way I said I did. She said she was with him and she was happy. It killed me inside.

She still has my shirts, and everything I got for her, she still sleeps in my shirt, and wears all the jewelry I had given her. She has me all over her myspace, and says how amazing he is to her.

I made another mess up, I tried moving on and I bloged about this one girl I was seeing, I know it upset her because she wrote a hateful blog directed towards me. Stating that I've said all that to her and that she sees my true colors now. And I can't pull the wool over anyone else's eyes. My mom said she was hurt by what I said, and she's angry. She still has feelings for me. But she's happy I'm out of her life, but she still has all my stuff, and keeps my pictures around. She still looks at my profile all the time.

I think more than anything I hurt her, and she's upset that I'm upset. She even said she sometimes wishes she could just run and fall into my arms, because he's not here. Our zodiac says we are a match made in heaven, but theirs say they are a match made in hell. She told me this. I know she still cares about me, she says she does, I still have a part of her heart but she loves this guy she dated for a weeek before he left for the army. He's 19 and I don't know what to do. I messed up, I want to be her friend. I want her back, and secretly I know she feels the same way. Everyone says give her time, but I don't know whatelse to do. Some people say it's not a big loss, and she's nothing to worry about. She's been hurt a lot by past boyfriends, and well I got off to a wrong start. And she didn't even give me a second thought. Someone told me to send her flowers and apologize. If you were to see the pics of me and her together, she looks happy, very happy. She still has the ones of me and her up. But the ones of her and him, her smile is fake and she looks like she's not really all that happy. Even though she says she is.


Can someone help me and tell me what to do! I know I've forgotten some of the details but I will update soon. We haven' talked since the 17th because the girl on the phone told her stuff that was true, but not in the right sense. She said it in a way to destroy it. But I don't know. What do I do?! Help me pleasE!

[klovesj110603]

Hi... Well sounds like your in a fix.. If I were you I would first off tell the phone girl to stay in her own corner and not get into yalls. You should break it off with her and tell her you really like the other girl. Then tell the other girl you are sorry and find a uniqe way to do it... maybe a blog on myspace about how you miss her touch and how you messed up and would like another chance. The guy in the army has not made any commitments to her either has he? Well if not then your really not hurting anything by trying to patch things up. Take her and her son out to dinner or something to show you really feell for the son and that you want to take on the father role. If she only dated the other guy for a week she can't really know if she loves him yet a week isn't long enough to be sure. She is young and is confused show her you are here for her when she needs u. She might want a little space to think and if she does give it to her. Just lay your feelings on the table, tell her how you feel and if she still walks away then maybe it is for the best. Good luck love can be hard but remember it is always worth the risk

[bobert20]

Well, he asked her to Wait for him. I've already spilled my guts to her. She's not talking to me. But she Does read my blogs. All the time. I know she does. She hates me, won't talk to me and says she happy with me out of her life. I already told the phone girl I wanted her out of my life, but She got upset and contacted the girl her, told her everything. The girl here didn't even want the hear my side. Just told me to F*** off and lose her number, forget where she lives and get out of her life. That was on the 17th. She says how wonderful he is, and awesome and amazing. But he's not there for her. How he's done nothing wrong for her to not like him, She said so far she's happy with the decision she's made to be with him. I don't think she is really, all she has to go on is what he did that week, and what his friends are telling her. So I don't know. She won't talk to me, but she'll read everything I write. Doesn't delete anything either, keeps it all. She saves everything.

[klovesj110603]

Well if you have tried to tell her and she won't listen just give her a little time. Don't hound her on myspace but maybe send her one good letter and tell her if she doesn't respond you will have to move on all together. Tell her how you feel and that you care and that you love her (if you do that is) if she is that hard headed just leave it at that. She probably worries about the army guy a lot of them have all thoses mistresses over there. How long have you known her? Just keep in mind that you might get hurt at the end of all this... BUT believe me if you give it your all at least you will know you weren't the one who messed up in the end

[bobert20]

He's in boot and then he's going to AIT. I don't know what she's thinking. I know I messed up I know I screwed up. I don't know how to say I'm sorry and be original about it. I don't know.

I've known her for about 3 months, we dated almost 2 of them. She's been with him for a month, only been with him for a week of it physically. I know it's fast but I connected with her like I have never before. Same as she did me. We just knew each other. We cooked together, we slept together, she even helped me mow my yard. She came to get me from the city, when I got back from my trip. She was the one there waiting for me.

She says all this about him, but is hesitant, I see it in her eyes. The last time I was with her, I looked at her, and gazed into her eyes. They were saying, I want you but I'm with him. I messed up big time, my uncle says send her some flowers and see what goes from there.

[klovesj110603]

Flowers can be good... When you send them send a letter too. Just tell her how you truly feel and put your heart in it. That's the only way to be original. Post a blog and tittle it something like I want the world to know I love her or something like that. If she reads it and sees your telling everyone maybe she could come around. Then again she may be with this guy to get to u. like I said you can't really know you love someone after one week. If she hasn't connected with him like she did with you she will see the error of her ways one day. When it comes to love don't be shy just lay it out there. I mean this is ut future at steak GIVE IT ALL U HAVE GOOD LUCK

[bobert20]

Yeah, I hope it's all good. I still want some other opinions. Yours are what I want to hear. But I want to know if there is even another chance. A few people I know, says she is in love with me, but she's wanting to be with him because he's filled her head full of everything she wants to hear. If he's done nothing wrong and all right then, something isn't setting right. IF you know what I mean, She did know him for a while before hand, she never had an attraction towards him, but all of a sudden she's in love. SO I don't know.

[klovesj110603]

Well I hope I could help you in some way. I almost lost my husband to another girl and I had to fight so hard it took it all out of me and I got so depressed I thought I was going to explode. But we made it threw because I gave him space and he came to see that he was wrong and we made up. Im not trying to compare my story to yours its just that I know how it feels to be in limbo. It isn't easy to let someone you care about walk out of your life. I believe you should never let love slip away. You sound like a good guy and I'm sure if things don't work out you can meet someone else. I know you don't want to hear that but its true. She may very well be sucked in by him. He might have a hold on her she can't understand. If u give it time things could really change. I hope it all works out for you and I hope you find happiness

[bobert20]

Is there anything else I can do? Anything at all?

[bobert20]

I'm still out of answers, I still don't know what to do. Thank you everyone for everything. I still want some opinions on what to do. I really love this woman, and I know she knows it, I think she's just scared of everything more or less.

[Foxy459459]

If you love her then you need to tell her, everyone makes mistakes, and your both still young, but what you need to relize is that she has a little boy that she prob isn't looking for a father for, but a role model. I know how that feels I'm a single mother and my son is 7 now. If you truly love her, and want to be a part of her and her little ones life then you need to cut the crap and tell her everything and how you feel. If she still has feelings for you then you will know when you look into her eyes. Send her flowers, and just keep trying, like I said if you truly love her don't give up...

[bobert20]

All I need to do is just keep going at it until one of two things happen. Either she see's I really Do love her and she gives me that second chance, or she's stubborn and stays with him? So the harder I try the better my outcome? Im going to send her flowers today, but Do I send them To her work, or her house?

[klovesj110603]

Work shows that you are willing to tell everyone so yea I would. But its up to you what you want to do. You say you really love her... Well as foxy said and I tried to say give it your all and don't give up.