[BAsh1988]

Hey- my name is becky and I am having a lot of trouble. (I apoligize in advance if this is long) Im 19 years old and had been going out with my boyfriend for a litle over two years. He is about to start college this fall, and I go to a different college where I will be a soph this fall. Our relationhip was good a lot of the time (we had fun together, we loved each other, he was sweet and romantic, we made each other happy most of the time). But it was also really bad a lot of the time. He would put me down, never compliment me, was absolutely horribly mean when we got into fights (and I was ALWAYS the one to apoligize), and his mother was absolutely the worst. She always screams and curses at her husband in public and she is just plain cuttng and cruel to anyone who walks in her path. And on top of it, she is so in loe with her son and tinks that he can do no wrong and she spoils him like crazy.
Anyway, so recently we had been getting in fights more frequently than we used to, but I still loved him and I did not want to break up. Then this past Monday we got into a stupid fight which totally escalated and towards the end of it I was on the phone with him for 2 hours screaming and crying to just come over and we will work this out. My dad, after hearing his daughter be treated this way, came into my room and screamed "get off the phone with that piece of !" and my boyfriend heard. My dad apoligized two times, and we all know it was wrong but he said it in the heat of the moment.
My bfs mom was not too happy to hear that my dad said this (she was away and is wayyy too inolved and overprotective). I don't know whether it was her or my boyfriend, but he then told me that he will never come to my house or see my parents agan, that he hates my dad and is not allowed here anymore. But later me and my boyfriend talked and we thought maybe we should take a break or be in an open relationship, but finally we decided that we would try the relationship one more time, and if it didn't work then we would end it. So the next day I went to his house and his mom was acting weird. I told my boyfriend that I was going to talk to her and make sure that everything was better, and he told me I shouldn't but I figured that all it could do was help.
So I went up to his mom and apoligized for my dad again and said "i just want to make sure that everything is okay between us". SHE FREAKED OUT and screamed and cursed at me for 20 minutes straight. SHe called me and idiot and my parents f****** morons and so much mean/horrible stuff that I cannot even tell you. After she finished screaming I looked at my boyfriend and he said that he didn't stop her because I didn't listen to him when he said not to talk to her then.
So I was hysterical crying, not even believing that this just happened and went to walk towards the door. This is when my boyfriend ended things for good. He said the reason was that I don't listen to him (like I should have to have a time and place to be allowed to apoligize to his mother) and he said that I will never learn and that our relationshp has too many issues. After he said this I was just glaring at him and, he had gotten his wisdom teeth out that morning, he said "if you slap me right now, we will sue your family". And that was the end of the relatioship. I went home hysterical, not believing that this really happened.
Then the next day my mom got an email from his moter explaining all that is wrong with me, with our family, and with the relationship (and NONE of if was put nicely). And also a lot of the things in the letter were secrets that I told my boyfriend and obviously he told his mother.
This was probably the worst break up in history, and I do not know what to do. To make it worse I am so in love with him still and I just keep thinking about all of the good things and I miss him so so much. Last night was my first attempt to leave my house, and I went to a party, saw his car outide (I didn't think he would be there) and went home. I just do not know what to do and I do not want him with other girls (I know that I have no control oer this but the thought of it makes me sick). Its ridiculous, but if he called me today and asked me back I would say yes even though I know that I should not and everyone in my life thinks I'm so much better off, not only is he horrible but his mother makes it ten times worse. Please help me, I am so depressed and don't know what to do.

[huno]

Maybe it's that I'm not the one in love with this guy, but thinking about it logistically, you should have dumped his @ss a looooooooooooooong time ago.

This guy obviously doesn't care for you.

He would put me down, never compliment me, was absolutely horribly mean when we got into fights (and I was ALWAYS the one to apoligize)

I don't know whether it was her or my boyfriend, but he then told me that he will never come to my house or see my parents agan, that he hates my dad and is not allowed here anymore.

He said that he didn't stop her because I didn't listen to him when he said not to talk to her then.

He said "if you slap me right now, we will sue your family".

And also a lot of the things in the letter were secrets that I told my boyfriend and obviously he told his mother.

Can't you see he treats you like garbage? Your BF sounds like a douche. You should be THRILLED you're rid of him. Have a party at your place celebrating the end of the relationship. Invite him so he can watch you dance on tables with all the guys that will come to the party.

Also, this guy's family is f**king insane. Why would you put up with his psychopathic mom? Clearly his mother is possessive, hysterical, illogical and jealous. She lives in some fantasy world where her son is king (and it's rubbed off on him, too, because he treats YOU like some peasant in his "kingdom"). She isn't "all there." Let some other girl have him and his retarded family.

Logistically, breaking up with him is the best thing that could happen to you right now... besides winning the lottery. And it'd have to be a LOT of money.

[hair2007]

Maybe it's that I'm not the one in love with this guy, but thinking about it logistically, you should have dumped his @ss a looooooooooooooong time ago.

This guy obviously doesn't care for you.


Can't you see he treats you like garbage? Your BF sounds like a douche. You should be THRILLED you're rid of him. Have a party at your place celebrating the end of the relationship. Invite him so he can watch you dance on tables with all the guys that will come to the party.

Also, this guy's family is f**king insane. Why would you put up with his psychopathic mom? Clearly his mother is possessive, hysterical, illogical and jealous. She lives in some fantasy world where her son is king (and it's rubbed off on him, too, because he treats YOU like some peasant in his "kingdom"). She isn't "all there." Let some other girl have him and his retarded family.

Logistically, breaking up with him is the best thing that could happen to you right now... besides winning the lottery. And it'd have to be a LOT of money.

I'm laughing so hard, not at the situation, the answer... so right, love the wording... lol

[SAB123]

This piece of crap doesn't deserve you! If it's this bad now, what's it going to be like 10 yrs from now or if you get married. Who's going to attend the wedding. Think about it, why waste time on something that will never work out. Your still young fine a good guy.

[vball43]

I agree with your dad. Right now get over him and go out with other guys. And if you are really that in love with the guy make him jealous. Go out with a friend who's a guy pretending to be together right in front of his face.

[BAsh1988]

I know that so many things are bad about the relationship, but so many are also good. I cannot get him out of my head. I can't eat or sleep, I haven't left the house in almost 10 days. I am so in love with this boy and I miss him so much.

His best friend called me 2 days ago and said that he was going to call me in a few days. I don't know what to say on the phone when he does call. I know it probably counds crazy, but all I want is him back. Please help me.

[Tuscany]

Remember that when you are in a relationship the famlies play a part, even if we don't want them too. If he is not sticking up for you to his mother now, it is not going to change later on. From the way he sounds in the post I think you would be much better off without him or his family. It will take time to get over him, but trust me you will.

[talaniman]

I think you can do better than him, and can be much happier, in a relationship with a healthy, happy person. You've been with him for a good part of your young life, and gotten so used to being put down, and humiliated that you think this is normal love, but its not. This is a sick, twisted relationship that goes well as long as your doing as your told, and since you don't know any better your going for this CRAP. Not healthy of you or him, and the rest of his dysfunctional family, and I hope you put in the work of breaking this cycle of mental abuse that is already getting worse. Trust me, if you could see what happy healthy relationships are about, you would run for the hills from this one.

[self_lnflicted_hell]

WHERE IS Yourself RESPECT?? Did you lose it somewhere along the way?? If you really cared about yourself, you would've dumped this loser a LONG time ago... He's no good for you, his mother is a huge problem that will never go away unless he stands up to her and lives life on his own... You are WAY better off without him, STOP beating yourself up over this. Go out with real friends and enjoy YOU for a change :) Good luck hun!

[huno]

I think you can do better than him, and can be much happier, in a relationship with a healthy, happy person.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.

Talaniman's hit the nail on the head (as usual). This dude is just bad news all around.

Honestly, I don't quite understand the fascination with stupid, pathetic, worthless men. It seems the more worthless the guy is, the more women want him. Ugh. I have a female friend who's also infatuated with this guy who treats her like complete crap, and she won't stop liking him. Maybe she's just f**ked in the head, I don't know, but it pisses me off to no end. Probably because I was after her too and I was passed up for that loser...

And this sort of thing isn't uncommon. I remember when Scott Peterson went to jail for killing his pregnant wife: he was getting love letters from women all around the country!

Seriously: what the hell?

I know that so many things are bad about the relationship, but so many are also good. I cannot get him out of my head. I can't eat or sleep, i havent left the house in almost 10 days. I am so in love with this boy and i miss him so much.

Who is this guy? Is he handsome?

Is he rich?

Is he huge?

Tell us what is so great about him, then maybe we can help you some more. Otherwise, my original advice remains: go find yourself a real man. Have your dad kick this guy's @ss, too.

[BAsh1988]

He is wealthy and so cute, but none of that matters to me. I am always the first one to say that the little things mean the most. I would rather get a sweet card and flowers for my birthday from him than an expensive piece of jewlery that anyone with the money could buy in 2 seconds.

I love him for all of the good times that we had together. I know that there always is bad, like I said before. But now that we are apart I am beginning to realize that I took so much stuff for granted. He might not be perfect but he makes me so happy and I want him back.

[talaniman]

I love him for all of the good times that we had together. I know that there always is bad, like I said before. But now that we are apart I am beginning to realize that I took so much stuff for granted. He might not be perfect but he makes me so happy and I want him back.

It is common to remember the good, and pass over the bad but take an honest look at this relationship and be glad its over. Just his always taking his mothers side, and letting her humiliate you is not healthy.

[altoids]

Look everyone is going to say he's an idiot and you shouldn't be treated that way by him OR his mom and its true. Ask yourself this.. can u see yourself being with him in the future making you feel insecure and his mother basically emotionally abusing you? I know there were great times you think about with him especially now believe me Im going through a break up myself. But you have to be strong and if he doesn't stand up for you when his mom is disrespecting you and your family when ever will he? You should really think about all of this.

[talaniman]

Altoid, your not paying attention to the dates on these posts this one is two years old too!

[altoids]

hey gimme a break I'm new at this =P