[Lacey19]

Im feeling so alone at the moment, I'm 6 weeks and 5 days pregnant and me and my partner have been having a few problems recently but we are getting back on track now. We both have a better understanding of each other. Only thing is my mum. She went nuts when I first told her was screaming at me to have an abortion and so was my dad. I thought it had calmed down a little as they both said that the think an abortion is best for me but it is my decision and what ever I choose to do they will stick by me.

But last night whilst having dinner my step dad was asking me questions about the baby and about scans etc and my mum just burst in to tears and walked out the room, she said she can't sit there and listen to me talking about it... Then she went mad at me because someone she works with found out that I'm pregnant. She was screaming at me saying she doesn't want everyone knowing until she is ready.

My head feels all over the place at the moment, I have longed for a baby for so long after having a miscarriage two years back and I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant but now I'm having doubts. I don't want to be feeling like that I want to be happy and enjoy my time being pregnant. I have been stressed out a lot recently and with everything going on I keep thinking to myself maybe it would be best if I didn't have this baby and if I did miscarry again but that's not fair and it surely isn't fair on the baby. I don't want to be thinking like that.

I worry about money and where we are going to live and my job as well as losing certain members of my family because of it and how much my life will change. I feel so selfish because of this, my child has done nothing wrong and don't deserve any of this. I was to be able to provide love and care for my child and I know I will be the best I can be but I'm just having mixed emanations at the moment. I just need someone to talk to that doesn't know the ins and outs of this situation and can give me some honest advise.

Sorry for my essay but I just needed to let it all out.

Thanks guys

[Lacey19]

Sorry for the poor spelling...

[buggage]

Oh sweety, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this drama. I wish that your parents could be more supportive of you. But no matter what they say, it is not their life to live. It is your life, your partners life, and your baby's life. You three are a family now, and as such, your parents need to take a step back and let you live. And you need to not pay attention to what they say. They can offer advice, but they can not tell you how to live. They should be supportive, regardless of how they feel. You shouldn't have to keep your pregnancy a secret until your mom is "ready." Its your family, your baby, and you should be able to be happy and excited and share the news with who ever you want. If your parents want to be in your lives, and be in their grandchilds life, then they need to put their preferences aside. Its in the past, and they need to move on. You are trying to be a good mommy and get a good life going for you, and they need to be supportive of that. It will be more difficult for you guys, starting young, but it doesn't mean it's a terrible thing. As you know, my hubby and I started the same age as you guys are. It was hard, but if you strive and remember why you are doing it, you will make it through, and it will just make you stronger people. Your parents are most likely just worried that you are so young, but they should understand that running away from the problem isn't the answer. They should be helping you on your road. With their help, things will be much easier for you. Don't let them get you down. Just concentrate on your little family. It will be a new life changing time for you and your guy, and it can really bring you much closer together, if you work on it together. Don't let other come between you. Sit down and discuss your fears, and your hopes. You might be surprised just how alike they are. Money will always be a fear I think. Most new parents face this fear. But things will work out. You just got to keep your chin up, and keep going. Face everything together, as parents, everything you do will be a joint effort now. You do the best you can, and in the end, that is all you can do. And you always have this site for help, should you need to just sit and talk, and need advice, or just plain vent. There is a wide variety of people and situations here, and someone somewhere will have something to contribute that will hopefully be what you need to hear for help. I wish you the best sweety. You are going to be a great mommy. Don't let anyone rain on your parade. Your pregnancy should be a wonderful time in your life.Boast as much as you like, flaunt your news as much as you like. Enjoy the road to motherhood.

[Megg]

Aw, you must feel bad about this situation. I know what it's like to have unsupportive parent's or family. I've been w/ my fiancé for 2yr's and neither of us want kid's but I don't know what I'd do if I got pregnant. Personally, I'm against abortion because either way I look at it, it's taking the easy way out of the situaion and it's not what I was rasied to think was right. My fiancé thinks that it's not just my choice, that we can't be parent's right now. It's YOUR choice to do what you want with your body. If you want this child, and you and your boyfriend both can try to handle this and if you are sure you'll stick together then tell your parent's to butt out. They are not your boss, you're an adult. If this makes you lose them, then sure it sux but move on. On the other hand, maybe when they see that little cutie they'll see that it's a gift and love the baby. This is too much stress for you hun. You need to figure out for yourself, ''do I want this baby, and can I give it what it needs'', ''am I willing to forget the voices that are negative.'' Stress is BAD for a pregnant women. You do want a healthy baby? Then sit down and focus on the important things, your love, your child and future family together. Let that put a smile on your face. Maybe stop seeing your parent's until they chill out. It's nessissary for YOUR health. Make sure that you do thing's for yourself, not your lover, parent's or w/e. I hope your boyfriend is supportive because if he's not, why have his child? Rest up and make sure you see a doc consistatly through out your pregnancy. Good luck.

[alkalineangel]

Well for starters, I know it is hard, when you are young and pregnant, because your hormones are all crazy to start with and then go and add even more with pregnancy, but take it from me (I had my son when I was 20, found out I was pregnant at 19) it will get better. It isn't like you are some 15 year old kid out there without any idea of how the world works. Chances are at your age you have a job and maybe even your own flat or apartment (and even if you don't, you are at leat old enough to get one). You are an adult, and your mother will have to deal with it. It is'nt her decision to keep things quiet or not, its yours. If you want to shout it from the mountains, don't let her rain on your parade. Scream it as loud as you can if it is what makes you happy. It isn't like it is a huge dissapointment for her or anything. YOU ARE AN ADULT.

As for the problems with your boyfriend, it happens. Everyone has fights and bickering. People who have been married for 50+ years argue from time to time, and you are at a stage in your pregnancy, where everything will irritate you, and you will probably irritate your significant other pretty bad with your emotions (not on purpose of course) Just sit back and enjoy it. Things will work out. It is a scary thought, being the sole provider for another human being, but believe me it is easier than you think. I mean there are rough times, but overall, your motherly instincts will kick in and you will know what to do. Sometimes the money might be tight, but it will be there. There are always ways to work things out. I have found that when the times get tough, the money has always come, or the sickness will finally go away... you know. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel... besides, once that baby comes, your mother will come around. Grandmothers have this instinctual "spoil" gene that kicks in as well. (although they will deny it up and down) I think in another month or two you will be feeling wonderful. Your hormones are wreaking havoc on your emotions, but they will pass, and then you will get to a point where you feel that little one kick, and nothing else in the world will matter as much as that. Think of that and hold to it. You will feel better soon. Let me know if you ever want to talk, I have been there, and survived. I never have regretted it and I wouldn't change it for the world. There is nothing better than hearing "mommy" and the little patter of running feet down the hall when I come home.

[Lacey19]

Thank you so much guys, it is so nice to hear it from somebody else point of view. I do get scared because I have a friend who is a single parent of one, a little girl of 14 months and how my friend is with her daughter scares me. She's my goddaughter and I feel so sorry for the little one she has no stability in her life and no routine and if I'm honest I look at her and what she has done and it puts me off big time even though I know I will never let it get too that...

[Lacey19]

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, my dad just called me telling them he would pay for a private termination... I feel like going mental. Im running out of ideas... I don't know what to do next.

[automansgirl]

You need to tell your parents to respect your wishes. Set boundaries with them. They are being completely disrespectful by telling you that your child isn't worth living. You are going to be an incredible mother! I can tell you this because you have thought it through, you've made the decisions on how to raise your child. Things between you and your partner aren't always going to be wonderful, but that's okay. We would think something was wrong with you if it were, lol. I'm so sorry that your parents are trying to put you in this position. Why is it that they want you to terminate this pregnancy? I can't imagine it is because of money or age... you aren't 15 years old! Just remember that this is a decision between you and your partner, and if you asked me I would say that there isn't a decision to be made, you're going to have this baby. Don't let your parents fears talk you into something you would regret for the rest of your life. If I were you I would shut the phone off for a few hours and just relax. Think about why you want to have this baby. Decide what will be best for you and your partner, then set things strait with your parents. If they are going to continue to try to push you into terminating this child, let them know that until that changes they are going to be cut out of your life. As long as it takes. I know it is hard because we all think our parents decisions and choices may be best, even when they aren't. Sometimes we have to grow up and make our decisions based on what we know is best for us. (I'm not at all saying you aren't grown up). Sometimes it is just way too easy to let our parents influence us into making a decision, even if it is something we never thought we would even consider. Our parents don't always know what is best for us. Sometimes we do! Good luck sweety. I hope you can stop allowing your parents to do this to you. You deserve better!

[alkalineangel]

You tell your dad to either keep his money or put it in a college fund. In the meantime, You do what you think is right. I think you will be happier keeping the child than dealing with issues that follow abortion... I agree with automansgirl. If they don't want to be supportive shut them out. Tell them that it is your body, and your baby and they have no power here. If they have a problem, good for them... but keeping them buzzing in your ear is just going to stress you out and cause you to have an unpleasant pregnancy. They will come around once that little bundle of joy gets here.

[Lacey19]

They don't like my partner, but it isn't there choice on who my partner is they will never be good enough to me according to them. Thanks you guys your right I'm having this baby whether they like it or not and I no that what ever happens he will support me throughout because that's the kind of guy he is and I love him with all of my heart. Im proud to be carrying his baby even if my parents don't agree and we will do what is best for our child. My b/f has always said that its my decision and he will stick by me through whatever choice I make, but it isn't just my choice its his as well and we have both come to the conclusion on keeping this baby. We will be just find I no it... And if my parents what to be idiots and foolish about it... LET THEM... I'm happy with my desison. Thanks guys...

[Lucyenyc]

Hi, I've just read your meassages and I honestly felt like crying for you. Now, I totally agree with everyone else that's replied to you but me being one to speak my mind as it comes, Who the hell do your parents think they are? With all due respect but you've already told them you want your baby and your Dad phoning you offering to pay for an abortion was way out of line. I know you don't want to be falling out with your parents at a time like this but you need to tell them they've over stepped the mark. Ask your father how he's going to feel when the baby arrives, or in a few years time when the baby is toddling round knowing that he wanted you to have an abortion? And your mum, you need to tell her this is YOUR time, YOUR feelings and YOUR life and that you don't care if her friends find out. You'r not the first girl to have a baby for gods sake. Please stop thinking that you are selfish because from what you've wrote you are far from it. You are constantly thinking about your baby and as far as I can see the only selfish ones are your parents. You've got your new baby growing inside you and your partner who loves you so try not to get too stressed out. I'm sorry if I've over stepped the mark here but it's just not right the way they are making you feel. Take some you time now and don't let them ruin your pregnancy! Good luck xxx

[Lacey19]

I really don't know what road I would have taken if it hadn't been for you guys. Thank you

[Lacey19]

Hi, I've just read your meassages and I honestly felt like crying for you. Now, I totally agree with everyone else that's replied to you but me being one to speak my mind as it comes, Who the hell do your parents think they are? With all due respect but you've already told them you want your baby and your Dad phoning you offering to pay for an abortion was way out of line. I know you don't want to be falling out with your parents at a time like this but you need to tell them they've over stepped the mark. Ask your father how he's going to feel when the baby arrives, or in a few years time when the baby is toddling round knowing that he wanted you to have an abortion? And your mum, you need to tell her this is YOUR time, YOUR feelings and YOUR life and that you don't care if her friends find out. You'r not the first girl to have a baby for gods sake. Please stop thinking that you are selfish because from what you've wrote you are far from it. You are constantly thinking about your baby and as far as I can see the only selfish ones are your parents. You've got your new baby growing inside you and your partner who loves you so try not to get too stressed out. I'm sorry if I've over stepped the mark here but it's just not right the way they are making you feel. Take some you time now and don't let them ruin your pregnancy! Good luck xxx

Thank you so much you asr so right. Im going to live my life how I want to and do the best by my baby and partner. Thank you xxxxx

[Megg]

As long as you follow your heart through out life, everything will work out in the end. Sure people will try to get you to do other then what you want, sure you may lose a few friend's, (but then they were never true friends) but at the end of the day all that matter's is what's closest to you. You child and lover. Listen to your heart, no matter what those blurred voices say! Good luck.

[mescha]

Let me just say, I kind of know what you are going through. I am pregnant with the love of my life and 1. my parents don't like my fiancé and 2. think I am too young to have a baby. Although my parents don't suggest an abortion, I know how you probably feel being around them and hearing what they have to say. My advice is to follow your heart and your man's and start your own family. They may come to it when the baby is born and things may smooth over. If not, you will always have your new family. So don't worry about what everyone else wants and just focus on what you want. I hope this helps.

[endlessecho]

When life gets hard (and I don't know if you are religious or not, if you aren't, I apologize if this offends you) but I keep in mind that God never gives us more then we can handle, WITH he's help.

Just stay strong. I know you don't know me but if you ever need to vent or anything I'm here.

[lianne22f]

I know you are thinking of your parents but you shouldn't let them upset you.I have a 18 month old son and when he was born nothing else mattered and you will feel the same.you have to think about you your boyfriend and the baby none else they will come round in the end I am sure once the baby is born you will wonder how you will ever manage without him/her.they are a great joy.good luck

[tinkerbell77]

This brings back so many memorys. I was 19 when I had my first. Same situation!! My parents begged that I have an abortion. I went with what my heart told me to do. Kept my child and moved in with my b/f at the time. We did get married, and unfortunately it didn't work out with him and I. And I was a single mom for 6 years. I didn't think I could be a good single mom, but I did great. I had a rental place for 4 years and then bought my own home. I stuck to the same job for the last 5 years. And just focused on my children. I ended up having another while we were married. In any case, I made it threw... And as sad and hard as this is going to sound to you. My parents dis-owned me, and my children. They never came to the hospital when I was in labor. They yelled at me when I got divorced and kept saying "we told you, you should have had an abortion." Now that my children are older my parents are fighting me in court to get visitation. YEA... visitation of the children they never wanted!! Soooooo sad... They have nothing to do with me, and I have nothing to do with them. I will tell my children when they are older what all my parents put us threw. But even now they know. That's the down fall of it all... I'm not saying that is the choice your parents would make. But, believe me... IF I had to do it all over again. I wouldn't have done it any other way. I love my children... I love the life I have now. And most of all, I'm a much happier person with out them over my shoulder telling me I'm always wronge. So I know you'll make it threw. And I'm sooooo sorry for the pain they are causing... It will be hard, but you'll be a wonderful mommy!!

[Lacey19]

Thank you all so much for your posts and advice. It just seems like a never ending struggle with me. My work are now telling me that they don't allow part time work in my job, What am I going to do?? I love my job and I don't really want to leave. I only plan to take 6 months maternity leave (Well I say that now) and was hoping to come back part time and work the rest from home, doesn't look like that's possible. What's my other oprion??

[tinkerbell77]

I actually am remarried and having another baby this month. I am faced with the same work issues. I have been approved to get 6 weeks maternity leave paid, and I will receive another 12 weeks unpaid family bonding time. I am garenteed my job back, but not part time either. And I don't know that full time with the cost of day care will work out. So I'm planning on looking in to "work from home" options. I have a friend that does tech support part time from home. So I'm going to look in to that. But if you love your job, maybe you could find a good friend or a supportive family member that would help with the baby so you could go back and feel comfortable?? I'm sure you'll think of something before he/she is here.