[rambolion]

I have a long, specific story but some advice would be great

So I started seeing my girlfriend freshman year of college, I am now a sophomore. She makes me really happy, is real pretty, and is a fun person.

She is crazy about me, and is afraid of losing me which is great. I am a confident handsome 4.0 engineering student.

She brought up to me that there was a guy back home that she was getting over, and he was all over her. He would text her sappy stuff, and she would play along with it. I told her I was uncomfortable with it so she stopped (apparently). She had put his number as a different name in her phone, and would text him stuff saying that he is hot, or she misses having sex with him. I called her out (we would play around with each others phones and see messages), and she was apologetic and stopped talking to him. But that lie sometimes gets to me and makes me wonder if there are others.

One thing that really bothers me, is the amount of guys she has been with. Drunk one night, she told me that she had had sex with 15 guys. That just disgusted me, but I tried to put it aside. But after she signed into her Facebook on my computer, I realized that she still talks to all of these previous guys that she had sex with. That made me even more uncomfortable. The bad part is that she claims to have never had sexual relations with these guys, when their conversations show otherwise.

Another big lie that is currently ongoing is that her grades are god awful, but she continues to tell me that they are great. I know she is a smart person, but she does not manage time well. After she signed into the grade website one day, I saw that her grades were under a 2.0. Almost bad enough to get kicked out of the university. This scares me, because at some point she will be kicked out if these grades keep up.

I could normally deal with a long distance relationship, but I know that all the guys that she had had relations with are in her home town, which makes me very uncomfortable. Her friends have told me that she was known for being pretty "easy" in high school which disgusts me. However, at college, I am the only person she wants to be with which is reassuring. I honestly think she would do anything for me, but I just lack trust with her.

I know I am not overreacting with these lies, because all my friends think the same thing, and that I should just get rid of her. But she really does make me happy and I want to be with her.

I will confront her about her grades and hopefully she will react accordingly, but I don't know how to talk to her about all these other guys she talks to claiming to be friends with.

[odinn7]

First you say she is crazy about you and is afraid of losing you... then you say she was texting a guy and lying to you about it. You further add that you think she is lying about other guys.

That doesn't sound like someone that is crazy for you and afraid of losing you.

Now we have a trust issue. Without trust, you have nothing. You will always be wondering what she's doing and with who... you won't be able to believe her when she tells you something. So then what have you got? You've got a relationship where you think she's crazy about you, you say she makes you happy, but then she gives you reasons to believe she is lying to you and you can't trust her.

How long are you going to do this for?

[Jake2008]

I agree with Odin.

A relationship without trust, has no foundation to build a future on. I have to wonder why she is with you in the first place. Security maybe?

She does not sound very mature with her grades being so low, and her lying about them, saying they are great. A lack of trust, followed by lies. Not good.

That when she is at school, near you, things are fine, and when she is back in her home town, you wonder what she's up to (particularly because of the texts and contacts she has with all her ex's), almost sounds like she's living a double life.

I think you would be wise to consider what the future holds for you, being with her. What you have, isn't likely to change, or it would have already. So, be prepared for more, not less, of what has become predictable behavior.

I would say it's time to move on.

[Oliver2011]

"But she really does make me happy"

That's happiness? Me thinks not.

"She is crazy about me, and is afraid of losing me which is great"

Sounds more like dependency and only a dependency when you are around. The wise Odinn is correct when he says there is no foundation to build a relationship on. And I have to wonder what girl has sex with 15 guys in one night and how long do you have to be in a relationship before you spring that on your partner?

If you are truly a handsome, confident, 4.0 engineering student it sounds like you can do better.

[joypulv]

It boggles my mind how many people come here saying how absolutely wonderful the relationship is. Only to then delve deeply into the fact that it isn't.

"She makes me really happy, is real pretty, and is a fun person. She is crazy about me, and is afraid of losing me which is great. I am a confident handsome 4.0 engineering student."

Baloney? You tell us.