[Dustin2239]

My baby's mother and I recently broke up after 4 years and I can't seem to get over it. I have done everything possible to be with her she's means so much to me and I love her. I have to see her because of our son and get emotional sometimes when this happens. I donno why I do this I tell myself that I won't but it just sometimes happens. The first few years were good we got together the last year of high school we went out and done things and it was fun. But over the last 2 years we broke up a few times and got back together and it is really hard on me and I wouldn't say that I have trouble with women. I always say its not what u look like its what you know. I am just so attached to her it drives me nuts. My friends always told me to break up with her and I never listened. I think about her all the time. What do I do to move on.

[I wish]

A useful tool is no contact.

Here are the rules: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-332732.html

If you have any urges: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html

I would also like to add that since you have a child together, you still need to see your child. So in this case, try waiting in the car when picking up your child or have a third party help you do some of the picking. Any possible way to avoid any unnecessary contact until your feelings for her have completely healed.

[jaime90]

Past feelings can always come up unexpectedly. Surveys and studies have shown that a significant amount of people (especially women) have past thoughts and emotions that are hard to get rid of, that show up throughout their entire lives. This means that a woman who is 10 years into a happy marriage, can have thoughts and emotions linked to the break-up of their first relationship pop up out of nowhere. Not only that, but it is extremely difficult to shut those thoughts down, and they will more than likely show up again in the future. So, it is possible that you really are "over" this, and these emotions are just revealing themselves again.

There also is a chance that you just weren't over this to begin with. You were fooling yourself into thinking it was over, and now you realize otherwise. It's like you were over it once, and now you have relapsed... Do whatever you did to get over it the first time and soon enough the awful feelings that come with a break up will fade away... Remember though, they will not completely disappear. You will carry memories and feelings with you your entire life, and they will always be reappearing. For your own good though, you need to move on, forgive, and let things go. A relationship is "over" when one person decides to break it off. The feelings that follow, however, will never completely go away. It is just a matter of moving forward.

[talaniman]

You must put action in your life, and get busy building a life that you enjoy without her being the main focus.

That means activities, and friends, and family, so you can be happy without her. You have a child together, and will see her for a long time to come, so be friendly, and polite, but keep it brief until you can accept this new situation, and deal with it for the sake of your child.

Just be a great dad, and put him first. Keep your lives separate so there is less conflict with what you do, and your ex does.

Just because your not together doesn't mean you can't work together to build a healthy, happy, loving life for your son.

[Dustin2239]

My baby's mother and I split up about 1 month ago. We were together for 4 years previous. I really love her how do I socialize with her about our son and Christmas today and tomorrow without breaking down like I usually do. How do I get that feeling to go away or subside for awhile long enough to get done with what we have to do. The tears come without me knowing it and I can't stop them. HELP FEELING TRAPPED

[talaniman]

Its only been a month, and it will probably take more time before you're completely under control. I would take a complete break from the situation for a while, and come back refreshed.

[Fr_Chuck]

Just because you have a child together does not mean you have to "see" her. You get a third party to pick up or take the child,

And/or you merely exchange the child at the door, depending on age of child, they merely walk out to the car and you go.

[sully123]

First of all, get a hold of yourself and stop with the emotions and the tears. Enjoy Christmas with your son, and put the breakup behind you. Focus on making it a special day for him.

[jaime90]

I agree with the above. There's no sense in making Christmas awkward because of a break up. Make this Christmas more about your son, and less about yourself. It's just a matter of getting into that mindset, and putting things behind you.

[crazybabymother]

I hope everyone understand the pain involved in a break up with your baby mother I'm going threw the same thing and its killing me.. I don't get happy or see a new future she's has moved on and moved a new man in who see my son more than me.. the human nature in me is outraged but I also regret why we broke up we never realise the damage we do when we do it and we only realise when its over...

Someone tell me if this is not true because I don't see any way of getting over my baby mother

[JudyKayTee]

i hope everyone understand the pain involved in a break up with your baby mother im going threw the same thing and its killing me.. i dont get happy or see a new future shes has moved on and moved a new man in who see my son more than me.. the human nature in me is outraged but i also regret why we broke up we never realise the damage we do when we do it and we only realise when its over...

someone tell me if this is not true cos i dont see any way of getting over my baby mother

This is from 2009 - I'm sure the problem has been solved.