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chris28 · Oct 9, 2007, 12:12 PM

Listen I already feel like a loser hjust going through all of this as well as thinking so much about it. I just not sure what to do the advice is all great and I appreciate it. I just guess Its like I started over after finding out this information about her and it could be because I think she might be re-consideringn things while in fact she might not even be thinking about it... ughhhhhh what to do...

smoothy · Oct 9, 2007, 12:15 PM

Put it behind you or you will be reliving it all over again down the road. You already know she's capable of it, and that's reason enough to be a winner and not be sucked a second time.

Remember the old saying.

Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me.

Repeat those words when you think about her. She shafted you once... go back and the next time its your fault, not hers. You know she's like this now.

Those words mean learn from your bad experience... and don't repeat it a second time.

chris28 · Oct 9, 2007, 01:00 PM

Okie so I'm officially a loser I signed on to myspace and coudnt help checking hers and on it she had the song wich she added today jorden sparks tatooed. So I caved in and texted her and said that I understand were from different world and I don't refgret anything but I miss her and she said she missed me back yada yada and she said she just thinks it's the best for both of us right now. So I agreed and said take care... What have I done am I a idiot??

smoothy · Oct 9, 2007, 01:03 PM

You can check your gonads in at the closest women's center.

If you can't stand up for yourself then what can you stand up for.

chris28 · Oct 9, 2007, 01:17 PM

Yea your probably right but the conversation through text didn't go anyway there were only 5 and I feel relief not sure if it was tempory but I feel relieved

chris28 · Oct 9, 2007, 02:21 PM

You

chris28 · Oct 9, 2007, 02:38 PM

So everyone I broke down I heard she was upset, I heard her new interenet song jorden sparks tatooed I cracked I text her. It was long text just said Hi she answerd hi back told her I now we are from different worlds and I miss her she responded miss you to. I told her I no I could love w/o her but I never thought we wouldn't be 2gethor she agreed and then said that she things its better for both of us right now so I agreeed and told her I had to get that off my chest and ended it there... I feel like I got it out and I'm okie... did I just ruin the 14 days we didn't contact each other and that song just set me off if anyone knows what its about ull no y

chris28 · Oct 9, 2007, 09:22 PM

Okie so after all that I contact her. She texted me back earlier tonight and said she don't want to call cause its to hard and that she's loves me and cares for me but she's young and wants to live a little bit. And how its better for the both of us I kind of think this was the closier I was looking for now I no its over and that's the way it is so as she hung up she said love you again and used her old pet name... Sooooo I kind of feel at ease hope this feeling stays around...

crushedovernover · Oct 9, 2007, 09:29 PM

False hope is a bad thing my friend. Move on... Just wait till she is dating some one else which she probably has her eye on some one already.. Harsh reality but tough love is what I'm giving you. Let it go.. Be a man. Let it go , if she matures and comes back then sweet but you can't count the min. Go to the gym #1, #2 go out with friends and be yourself have fun. # 4move on #5 move on #6 move on #7 see where I'm going with this.. Where here to talk about moving on and letting go. . No waiting for her to come back.. I'm having the best two days of no contact where I'm thinking clearly.. open your eyes

chris28 · Oct 10, 2007, 05:07 AM

Yea I woudnt that what your saying false hope was running my life I guess its out of sigh out of mind and when in mind forse it out you her being with someone would drive me nuts ughhhh I don't want to even think of it but its going to happen sooner than it will for me probably sucks o it sucks but keep the positive enforcement coming thanks for the support all...

smoothy · Oct 10, 2007, 06:03 AM

Like I said... be a man, stand up for yourself and walk away from her, or be a wussy and be her doormat.

If you want to be a doormat you give up your rights to complain about it because you were warned and choose to do it. You therefore wanted to be kicked around because YOU made the conscience decision to go back to her.

However if you don't then stop crawling back to her... take charge of your own life and shut her out of it.

There are plenty of women out there that don't treat others like that, and that are a better match for you.

The more I read these threads the more I think divorce should be outlawed. Because people insist on picking the worst people and know it, yet insist on ignoring common sense and advice by sticking with people that are emotionally, or physically abusive to them. So they should be forced to stay in those relationships. They deserve each other.

I can't fathom why people keep doing this.

There are a LOT of women out there... they aren't all alike. Why do people keep insisting on staying with others that don't respect them or worse. If you are fighting, needing a break from each other or are just unhappy, then that's a flashing NEON sign that you aren't a good match much less a perfect one. Leave, move on, find a new partner. If you waste time with losers you will never find that perfect partner.

chris28 · Oct 10, 2007, 10:35 AM

Abosulty correct, I was just scared cause I didn't think I was good enough to get another good looking girl that was nice most of the time. Im starting to think different and feel better about myself that had a lot to do with it. Im scard of meeting new people but that will be a new leaf for me to introduce myself to the new me... im working on myself so I can do these things easier we will see what's happens no she's not right for me I was just scared to walk away

smoothy · Oct 10, 2007, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by chris28

abosulty correct, I was just scared cause i didnt think i was good enought to get another good looking girl that was nice most of the time. Im starting to think different and feel better about myself that had alot to do with it. Im scard of meeting new people but that will be a new leaf for me to introduce myself to the new me...im working on myself so I can do these things easier we will see whats happens no shes not right for me i was just scared to walk away

Keep in mind looks aren't everything. Most women lose their looks with age... then what do you have if they didn't have a personality to match? Not much, right.

There are plenty of perfectly decent looking women with great personalities... if you look for a trophy wife, that's all you usually end up with, a trophy, but not much of a wife.

A lot of serious hotties have this mindset, they think they are gods gift to man, and as such they are perfectly justified to do whatever they want.

Wait till the looks fade and the realities of life hit her. Payback can be a B1tch. By then you are happily on your voyage of life with a far better woman. She ends up settling for a drunken troll that beats her because unlike her he has a real job.

chris28 · Oct 10, 2007, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Keep in mind looks aren't everything. Most women lose their looks with age...then what do you have if they didn't have a personality to match? Not much, right.

There are plenty of perfectly decent looking women with great personalities...if you look for a trophy wife, thats all you usually end up with, a trophy, but not much of a wife.

A lot of serious hotties have this mindset, they think they are gods gift to man, and as such they are perfectly justified to do whatever they want.

Wait till the looks fade and the realities of life hit her. Payback can be a B1tch. By then you are happily on your voyage of life with a far better woman. She ends up settling for a drunken troll that beats her because unlike her he has a real job.

Smoothy, I will tell you one thing you do make a lot of sense. Was this all from life experience?? I am not 100% on looks personality is very important as well. Perfect example is that my ex thought she looked better then all her friends as well as most people and always told me how lucky I was. I new she was beautiful as well anyway. But to be honest as pretty as she was I still found the uglyness in her and that's the truth. Like I said before I'm not the best looking guy but definitely not the worst. So id be happy with the perfect match no matter what the looks really were on her outside...

smoothy · Oct 10, 2007, 11:56 AM

Originally Posted by chris28

Smoothy, I will tell u one thing u do make alot of sence. Was this all from life experiance???? I am not 100% on looks personality is very important as well. Perfect example is that my ex thought she looked better then all her friends as well as most people and always told me how lucky i was. I new she was beutiful as well anyway. But to be honest as pretty as she was I still found the uglyness in her and thats the truth. Like i said before im not the best looking guy but definatly not the worst. So id be happy with the perfect match no matter what the looks really were on her outside......

Some it was the school of hard knocks... others was from observation and friends that went that same route. I'm in my mid 40's so I've had a lot of years to learn these lessons. Most of them long before places like this existed. I like to watch people and see what they do and how they act... sort of bet myself that something is going to happen, and started to notice many times I was right. You can learn a lot by just sitting back and watching people sometimes. You can pretty accurately judge someone's character from how they behave. You don't even have to know them if you can watch them long enough.

And yeah, I've known quite a few of these women that think they are gods gift to mankind... they can also be refereed to as "high maintenance" women.

If you constantly have to spend money on them to keep them happy then its time to open your eyes. Many date guys just for the stuff, I've had them actually tell me this. The right woman wants you to be with her, she doesn't want you to buy her.

Many of these women are really not all that much to look at when you really take the time to look. And No woman is gods gift to man. Nor any man gods gift to women.

chris28 · Oct 10, 2007, 12:35 PM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Some it was the school of hard knocks...others was from observation and friends that went that same route. I'm in my mid 40's so I've had a lot of years to learn these lessons. Most of them long before places like this existed. I like to watch people and see what they do and how they act....sort of bet myself that something is going to happen, and started to notice many times I was right. You can learn a lot by just sitting back and watching people sometimes. You can pretty accurately judge someones character from how they behave. You don't even have to know them if you can watch them long enough.

And yeah, I've known quite a few of these women that think they are gods gift to mankind....they can also be refereed to as "high maintenance" women.

If you constantly have to spend money on them to keep them happy then its time to open your eyes. Many date guys just for the stuff, I've had them actually tell me this. The right woman wants you to be with her, she doesn't want you to buy her.

Many of these women are really not all that much to look at when you really take the time to look. And No woman is gods gift to man. Nor any man gods gift to women.

Yea I hear you experience is key... Life is so short and I want to live it and have fun this is a stepping stone that I had to start with I appreciate your time as well as everyone else and anymore advice feel free to lay it on me...