[mred]

Hi! I'm a 27 year old female in near desperation for finding Mr. Right. Just recently, I tried to surf the name of an old friend in grade school. He used to be a die hard admirer of mine and back then, I never had any feelings for him. Whatever's gotten into me recently, I don't know... but I found the guy's contact number and texted him. He started telling me that he missed me and that he still admired me like he used to. I was beginning to feel excited when he admitted to me that he recently just got married. He told me that he had he looked and waited for me and even thought of me before he got married. My whole world suddenly fell apart and although I knew our consversation would only be idle talk, I continued to text him. He texted me how regretful he is that he wasn't able to wait. He has a child now. I can't believe I'm falling for him despite the knowledge that I am liable to destroy his relationship with his family. Lately, the guy isn't texting me anymore. Could it be that he had come to his senses already? How do I convince myself that we're not meant to be? Does it help to erase his number and go steady with some guy I don't really like? Please help.

[oneguyinohio]

Erasing his number, yes. Going steady with someone you don't like... ugg... why bother?

He's off limits. Think he knows it. Take the hint. Guess life can be a B- sometimes, but you weren't interested before, so too bad that now that he has moved on you suddenly miss having someone wanting you??

You don't really seem to want him, just someone who wants you. When you have someone who is interested, then you're not satisfied with that person...

Figure out what you want, and why you aren't happy with people who are in your life.

When you know what kind of guy you are looking for, it will be easier to figure out how and where to find them.

[George_1950]

You wrote: "Lately, the guy isn't texting me anymore. Could it be that he had come to his senses already? How do I convince myself that we're not meant to be? Does it help to erase his number and go steady with some guy I dont really like?" It sounds as though he did come to his senses. You shouldn't pursue him out of respect for him, his wife, his child, and their relationship; it is exclusive. You would do him a favor if you reminded him of that also. Just be firm. What if your role and his wife's were reversed? Don't go steady to forget him; just date around and have some fun.

[peggyhill]

Erase his number but don't go out with a guy you don't like. As a married man, this guy is off-limits,as you know. He most likely isn't texting you because he has come to his senses. He needs to be working on his relationship with his wife and the mother of his child. The way to convince yourself you aren't meant to be is to remember that he has vowed to be faithful to his wife. You had the chance to go out with him in school, didn't take it, so that ship has sailed.

I know it's hard when you want Mr. Right and can't find him. But don't keep trying to contact this guy. He knows your number, if he wanted to talk, he would have. Maybe he feels guilty for talking to you as much as he did. Just focus on you right now and do things that make you happy. In my experience, sometimes good things come along when we least expect them. So focus on you and do what you want to do in life, and when the time is right, you WILL find Mr. Right.

I met my fiancée when I joined a paintball league. Get yourself out there meeting new people. A great way to meet a guy who you have things in common with is to get involved in an activity that you like. Is there something that you have always wanted to try or learn, but have never gotten around to it? Now would be a great time. Then, when you meet guys at your new activity, you know you have at least one thing in common.

I'm sorry that it didn't work out with this guy. I know it sucks when you think you might have a chance with someone and then find out he's married. I also looked up an old classmate once and he was also married. I was seriously bummed for a little while, but after some time went by, I realized that the world was full of other guys that were available and I started going out again.

Absolutely don't go out with someone you don't like. It's not fair to you or him.

I hope you find somebody soon! I believe there is someone out there for everyone. Good luck and keep a smile on your face! :)

[Fr_Chuck]

There should not even be a consideration, he is married, and as noted, you delete his phone number, throw away copies of it, and delte any email.
Move on to someone who is not married.

[talaniman]

Desperate people make lousy lovers, and thank God this guy did the right thing, and stop contact with you, as should you. Desperate people make lousy decisions, and show me a female desperate for Mr. Right, I will show you one that doesn't love herself, or her life. Its in your interest to learn to love yourself, and be happy who you are, and with what your doing, so you can attract the right people to your life. You aren't ready for Mr Right until you work on yourself, if you don't know how, get help to guide you, but don't depend on a man to make you happy, do it for you. Then you won't be calling someone from grade school, (grade school? ) Then you won't be so desperate, or foolish.

[mred]

"You don't really seem to want him, just someone who wants you." That really cut right through:) :)

[mred]

I just need some enlightenment regarding an old flame who still texts me that he needs my company when he's already married with a kid. He had been married for only two weeks with an eight-month old baby. Does he still want me? He feels bad whenever I don't text him. Does he only want my friendship or is he still after a deeper relationship? Isn't it weird when a guy texts in the middle of the night just to ask if I'm still awake, what I'm doing, and where I am at the moment? He still makes me guilty for rejecting him in grade school when he was "suicidal" (in his words) about me, for which I can only be regretful about at this time. Sometimes I dream of going back in time and give ourselves another chance. It's all wishful thinking though and I would like to move on. Please tell me how else I can forget this guy besides erasing his number. How can I resist falling again?

[George_1950]

You are being haunted; how about exorcism?

[HistorianChick]

How can you resist falling again? Just remember... he is married. You don't need the heartache of getting involved with a married man. Believe me. You can't "go back in time" and give yourselves another chance. He has a wife and a baby. Leave him alone.

Yes, it is weird that he texts you in the middle of the night. Don't answer.

He has no right to make you feel guilty about rejecting him in grade school. Don't let him take your power. Take control of YOUR life, you heart, your emotions, and MOVE ON.

Life can't be lived by looking back.

Good luck! :)

[EuRa]

This guy is married to someone else, and is responsible for the upbringing of another human life, AND he's cheating on both of them by trying to get with you (whether mentally or physically)... and YOU feel guilty?

Damn, either this guy is good, or you have too fragile a conscience. If you were to talk to him and whatever... what would happen? He was to leave his wife, and then his new child will be part of a split family. Are you willing to be a step mom? Or perhaps the "woman that stole a husband and father"? Also, if he is willing to talk and even leave his own wife and baby's mother, why wouldn't he do the same to you?

He's bad apples. You deserve a prince, not this guy.

[mred]

These lines are empowering: Yes, it is weird that he texts you in the middle of the night. Don't answer.. . Don't let him take your power. Take control of YOUR life, you heart, your emotions, and MOVE ON. Life can't be lived by looking back.