[BobbyVandeyar]

There's this girl whom I've known for a couple of months. Talked a lot and stuff, we liked each other however she told me sometime in January that she had a boyfriend, pretty much just losing all my chances of actually being with her, which was messed up because she was talking to me while she was with this kid. She said she liked me, and loved our talks, and said she was sorry for not telling me and stuff. I forgived her, and remained friends.

Now then two weeks go by, and turns out she breaks up with him, due to sum issues that he had with her and stuff. Tells me, she's back to being single again. Then I asked if we can be more then friends. She said she doesn't know, and isn't really looking, just wants to focus on school and stuff. Which I definitely respect. So school starts, we don't talk as much. She always im's me, calls me whenever she gets a chance and stuff. And when she does, most of the time she apologizes that we don't talk as much and stuff. I always tell her don't apologize you have your priorities, and she says I know but I miss our talks. And I told her I missed her too.

Now here's the part where I don't know. Last night I was at a viewing of my best friends father who unfournately died in a car crash. She calls me and I only talked to her for 5mins and I told her id call her back later, which I did but it was late and she was alreadly asleep. I texted her telling her it was great to hear from her even if it was for 5mins and I missed her. Then I had a dream I was on a date with this chick, and that at the end of it, I was making out with her holding hands that whole lovey dovey stuff. And I wake up like why the hell did I dream that?

She texted me today saying she was sorry for not replying last night and that she was glad to hear from me and that she missed me, told me to call her later so we can talk. But all day that dream was in my mind. Even now.

I need to know how to approach this. What to do. And honestly, I like her but don't really feel like being a safety net again if I try to go after her again. Because while I was talking to her before she hid the fact that she had another guy, yet had feelings for me too. But I isn't the person who has time to play the guess how she's feeling game. And yet depsite saying that. I would like to have a relationship with her.

Ne suggestions?

[calypso321]

I think you need to be straight with her. I think she clearly knows that you like her, but by the fact your with engaging her on a friendly level means that it will stay like this until she finds another man. If it was me, I'd tell her that you need to talk; and tell her exactly how your feeling. You shouldn't worry too much about how she will react to this, that's her problem. But if you feel that strongly about her your going to have to be serious with her, rather than just float the idea of being more than just friends.

Life is too short my friend, tell her exactly how you feel and wait to hear from her.

[BobbyVandeyar]

I spoke to her last night. First time in a while we had a long conversation because we were so busy with things. However as I was trying to lead onto that point where I let her know she had to finish her paper for school. So she said she'll give me a call back tonight. I don't want to bring it out making it awkward though for both of us. Does that make sense?

[liz28]

Didn't she tell two weeks ago that she's not looking for anything serious especially since she just got out of a relationship?

[BobbyVandeyar]

Oo no no should a mention this was around January she told me that.

[liz28]

Okay, maybe I read it wrong. The only thing for you to do is to express your feelings to her and hopefully things work out. If not, things would only be awkward if your let it be. But know the pro and cons of getting involve with a friend. I say go for it. Nothing venture is nothing gain.

Wait, do you know if she is already involved with someone because she has left this major detail out in the past.

[BobbyVandeyar]

Well last night I asked if she's seeing anybody, her response was "nobody exclusive". I take it that's a no.

[liz28]

That means she is dating someone but they aren't exculsive.

[BobbyVandeyar]

Your right though. Don't really have nothing to lose here. And besides, in the end at least I know I tried, than sat down and wonder. Thanks.

[BobbyVandeyar]

Hey I got a question, sort of off topic. But why do people, well in my case I guess a girl will talk to you, but meanwhile is talking to somebody else for a longer time and pretty much has his sights on him but u? And when she does tell you, its like 3 months later when they started a relationship? Why is it that when we let others know how we feel? They give some answer saying I do like you, but I just want to get to know you more, when yet it was really, I like this other guy. Why can't people just be straight forward?

[Romefalls19]

hey i got a question, sort of off topic. but why do people, well in my case i guess a girl will talk to you, but meanwhile is talking to somebody else for a longer time and pretty much has his sights on him but u? and when she does tell you, its like 3 months later when they started a relationship? why is it that when we let others know how we feel? they give some answer saying i do like you, but i just wanna get to know you more, when yet it was really, i like this other guy. why can't people just be straight foward?

When you solve this, you will a very smart man. I still can't answer that question, but I also wouldn't let it bother me too much.

[BobbyVandeyar]

Update: last night I called her and I told her how I felt and stuff. It left her a bit stunned in a way, didn't even know what to say. But she told me she needs time to think about it and stuff and says we will talk more about it tomorrow. So I guess now is the waiting period.

[talaniman]

well last night I asked if she's seeing anybody, her response was "nobody exclusive". I take it that's a no.

That means you have competition.

Originally Posted by BobbyVandeyar
hey i got a question, sort of off topic. but why do people, well in my case i guess a girl will talk to you, but meanwhile is talking to somebody else for a longer time and pretty much has his sights on him but u? and when she does tell you, its like 3 months later when they started a relationship? why is it that when we let others know how we feel? they give some answer saying i do like you, but i just wanna get to know you more, when yet it was really, i like this other guy. why can't people just be straight forward?

She was being straight forward with you, your not paying attention to what she is saying, but that happens when guys have a single minded purpose in mind.

I'm going to be real honest with you, as she has just gotten out of a relationship, and you and others want her in another. That's why she is dating and having a good time. That's what you should have done, date and have fun and not confessed your feelings to her. That would have made the waiting, which you were going to do any way that much more enjoyable.

I honestly don't think she wants, nor is ready for a relationship, and for you to skip the "having fun getting to know her" stage will come back to bite you later, because it's a big difference between friends, and dating and a relationship. Its something that two people build over time, not just do overnight. Hope you see the difference, and good luck waiting.

[BobbyVandeyar]

Man, its ironic you said that tal, because last night I spoke with my brother and he pretty much told me the same thing. It is true, instead of me kicking back and dating others I just put so much into just one. But from last night I learned to enjoy life more because me being 19 I have a lot more to live and to experience. So as of now I don't see the rush in me having a relationship. As far as the waiting period goes, whatever happens ill respect her decision. But from today ill start to enjoy life more free and explore new and maybe better things.

Thanks again for the advice tal.