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kaboom1122 · Mar 30, 2009, 05:17 PM

Hello there well I'm Melissa, and I'm in love with the most loyal and most forgiving man on this plant.. but the worst par is that his in love with a liar, and an unfaithful monster!

Okay so this is the deal. Me and my boyfriend of 8 months have had an on and off relationship for a while now and the reason is because Ive been cheating on him since the start.

At first it was a flirty thing I had with a lot of guys and I didn't even notice. But later it got out of hand.. you see I had a friend that was really into me since I could remember, and we kind of got really close and ended of having secret meetings and we would creep around while my boyfriend just figured we were friends. And unfortunately this went on for around 5 months and "him knowing" still put up with it.

I truly feel love for him but how? I mean he would leave me home and I would go on and spend the night flirting with another guy!

How can I still be so selfish and want him!

Well now its been about a month and Ive completely forgotten about his guy.. but my boyfriend still can't find it to trust me! I know I love him and he adores me too.. but now h says his feelings have gone away and he doesn't feel the same that this has all been a joke and lie to me.
I know I ed up! But I need him back !

Can someone please help me out and advice me on something I should do or say to him? I miss him like crazy!

Truly yours, Unfaithful Lover!

none12345 · Mar 30, 2009, 05:47 PM

To be honest, there is nothing you could really do about this. You've cheated on him repeatedly yet he was loyal. He waited for you for so long but it didn't matter to you. Now this guy is gone, do you honestly expect to go back to this guy? Don't you think he feels like a back up? Do you really love him? If so why did you cheat on him in the first place? Im not trying to be mean or something but I think there is nothing wrong on his part. He's had it and he does deserve better and if you feel like you truly love him now, the best thing you can do is let him go... Move on, and learn from this experience. And NO, out of everything I've learned from my break up, YOU can't WIN ANYONE BACK. You can only wait for them to come back to you if they want, and if they don't you got to deal with it and move on with your life.

CrazyThumper · Mar 30, 2009, 07:26 PM

Kaboom- unfortunately I have ZERO tolerance for liars and cheaters... SO with that..

You should let this guy go, and never speak to him again. You have done more DAMAGE to him mentally then you will ever know. He doesn't trust you anymore? GOOD- you shouldn't be trusted by anyone, especially not those that love you. You're selfish and immature, and don't know what LOVE is.

You want to know what to SAY to him- let me help you.. "I'm a selfish, lying, cheating immature, idiot and you deserve MUCH better then me. I don't expect you to ever trust me again, so for YOUR best interest I'm going to completely get out of your life".

Then bang your head on every wall as you leave.. maybe it will knock some dam sense into you.

Thumper

kaboom1122 · Mar 31, 2009, 02:12 PM

Originally Posted by CrazyThumper

Kaboom- unfortunately I have ZERO tolerance for liars and cheaters... SO with that..

You should let this guy go, and never speak to him again. You have done more DAMAGE to him mentally then you will ever know. He doesn't trust you anymore? GOOD- you shouldn't be trusted by anyone, especially not those that love you. You're selfish and immature, and don't know what LOVE is.

You want to know what to SAY to him- let me help you.. "I'm a selfish, lying, cheating immature, idiot and you deserve MUCH better then me. I don't expect you to ever trust me again, so for YOUR best interest I'm going to completely get out of your life".

Then bang your head on every wall as you leave.. maybe it will knock some dam sense into you.

Thumper

I completely understand both of your sides and I believe that what I did is not to be forqiven but I realized that now.. when I noticed the door was closing in on me. And really I wasn't sleeping with the other guy it was just a crush! A MISTAKE I regret!
O well I need to let him go and find someone better! Even when I know its qonna kill me!! :(

liz28 · Mar 31, 2009, 03:16 PM

Yes please more on and leave this guy alone and I hope his new girlfriend doesn't hurt him like you did.

Sorry to say this but you can't just get someone back because you woke up and smelled the coffee after you cheated and lie throughout the entire relationship.

Hopefully you don't do this to nobody else in the future but watch out for Karma because everything you do comes back around..

none12345 · Mar 31, 2009, 03:30 PM

Originally Posted by kaboom1122

I completely understand both of your sides and i believe that what i did is not to be forqiven but i realized that now..when i noticed the door was closing in on me. And really i wasnt sleeping with the other guy it was just a crush! a MISTAKE i regret!
O well i need to let him go and find someone better! even when i know its qonna kill me !!! :(

Yah. For now if you truly do love him, you wouldn't want him to put him in the spot light and pressure him to come back. It really hurts someone a lot when you did that to them, trust me, I know how that feels. But yah its time to let him go and move on and find someone else. Take this as a life lesson on relationships so you know how to better the next one. If he does truly love you he will come back to you.

Romefalls19 · Mar 31, 2009, 04:00 PM

Okay, I am probably the least compassionate person when it comes to cheaters, so if you don't want to read harsh advice, move on.

You claim you love him but find secret meetings okay? You had a grass is greener scenario going on, and it destroyed your relationship, well the one with your boyfriend. A lovers tryst or affair is what we call what you did. A mistake is a one time thing that happened in the spur of the moment, you took the time to plan this encounter with this friend, which is heartless because all the while you had someone at home. You make it seem like he owes it to you to forgive you because you stopped being a selfish, unfaithful girlfriend. Sorry hunnie but life doesn't work like that, you made your bed so now you have to lie in it.

You had this going on for 5 months! Leave this man alone, because he deserves a lot better than what you have EVER given to him.

kaboom1122 · Mar 31, 2009, 06:02 PM

It just SUCKS! I just wish I could go back and fix all of this mess I made on myself! He was such a great guy.. And no matter what I did he always found it in his heart to forgive me . I know I should have STOPPED the second this happened/ but I didn't and its going to hurt me now. He keeps telling me to just give him his space but how? How do I learn to do that if my whole life was hiss! We shared everything.. I lost all of my friends during this relationship because I was to busy trying to hide the fact that I was lie'n to him.. IT HURTS! I know what I did was wrong but how do I start! I didn't have anyone but him it was like we were married. AND NOW I LOST IT ALL IN A SECOND!

I need to get over this nightmare I MADE!

none12345 · Mar 31, 2009, 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by kaboom1122

It just SUCKS! I just wish i could go back and fix all of this mess i made on myself! He was such a great guy..And no matter what i did he always found it in his heart to forgive me . I know i should of STOPPED the second this happened/ but i didnt and its gonna hurt me now. He keeps telling me to just give him his space but how? How do i learn to do that if my whole life was hiss! we shared everything..i lost all of my friends during this relationship because i was to busy trying to hide the fact that i was lie'n to him.. IT HURTS! I know what i did was wrong but how do i start !! I didnt have anyone but him it was like we were married. AND NOW I LOST IT ALL IN A SECOND!

i need to get over this nightmare I MADE!

Well there's something that a lot of people make as a mistakes in a relationship including me. I gave my ex everything, I left my friends and family, I spent so much on here, I moved for her and now she left me and I'm here left with nothing. I've learned that you never give everything in a relationship. Its about sharing things so in case things don't work out you don't lose everything and have to start all over.

You should stop contacting him ad let him go and let him go find his happiness. You've already done enough to hurt him and he doesn't need that anymore. Once you do no contact with him you ll find out that you won't need him as much as you think you do and that's what everyone here is doing well most is stop contacting their ex to help you move on. Learn from this and if you love him let him go. Don't be selfish anymore. Its not about you anymore. Its about him. He did nothing wrong and all he got was hurtfulness.

Do your own things. Isn't this what you always wanted? To flirt around and be with other guys? Well now your single and you can do all those things as much as you want and be with any guy you please. Just let him go and let him heal from what you have done to him. He needs someone that he can trust. He needs someone better and he deserves that. Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with flirting with guys and being with them BUT not when your with someone so do him a favour and let him go and be happy. If you really do love him like you say you do, you ll be willing to let him go.

As for you, learn from this. Life goes on... do your own stuff and if you find love again, you know what not to do this time around.

liz28 · Mar 31, 2009, 06:19 PM

Sometimes this is what happens and you can't get someone back after you screwed the guy over. There is no coming back because I wouldn't forgave you.

You need to be hard of yourself but get over it as well. All nightmares come to end but you have to have the will power to come out of it.

So deal with your guilt and, as mention already, learn from it.

kaboom1122 · Mar 31, 2009, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by none12345

Well theres something that alot of people make as a mistakes in a relationship including me. I gave my ex everything, i left my friends and family, i spent so much on here, i moved for her and now she left me and im here left with nothing. i've learned that you never give everything in a relationship. its about sharing things so in case things dont work out you dont lose everything and have to start all over.

You should stop contacting him ad let him go and let him go find his happiness. You've already done enough to hurt him and he doesnt need that anymore. Once you do no contact with him you ll find out that you wont need him as much as you think you do and thats what everyone here is doing well most is stop contacting their ex to help you move on. Learn from this and if you love him let him go. Dont be selfish anymore. its not about you anymore. its about him. He did nothing wrong and all he got was hurtfulness.

Do your own things. Isnt this what you always wanted? to flirt around and be with other guys? well now your single and you can do all those things as much as you want and be with any guy you please. Just let him go and let him heal from what you have done to him. He needs someone that he can trust. He needs someone better and he deserves that. Dont get me wrong theres nothing wrong with flirting with guys and being with them BUT not when your with someone so do him a favour and let him go and be happy. If you really do love him like you say you do, you ll be willing to let him go.

As for you, learn from this. life goes on.... do your own stuff and if you find love again, you know what not to do this time around.

Well, thank you "none"?
I guess at first I found it hard to understand.. you were kind of harsh but now I know why..
You're a man. And I'm guessing you got in his shoes for a second; don't qet me wrong, I am still not off the hook from any point of view. & to tell you the truth there's more to this "Love story" then you think;; but its just not important anymore I hope I do learn for this horrible mistake. -i just don't want to let him go// I mean we both even got matching tatoos! Ugh

I HATE THIS! Shxt!

none12345 · Mar 31, 2009, 06:46 PM

Originally Posted by kaboom1122

Well, thank you "none"?
I guess at first i found it hard to understand..you were kind of harsh but now i know why..
your a man. and im guessing you got in his shoes for a second; dont qet me wrong, i am still not off the hook from any point of view. & to tell you the truth theres more to this "Love story" then you think;; but its just not important anymore i hope i do learn for this horrible mistake. -i just dont want to let him go// i mean we both even got matching tatoos! ugh

I HATE THIS! shxt!!

Yah sorry I'm coming off a little harsh. But I'm really not trying to be mean but I know exactly how he feels because I was in the same position as he was. At first it got from being sad and now to anger but I still love her. Yah there was lots more to this love story with me too but the thing is it ended the same way. I've known this girl for 5 YEARS been best friends for a long time and decided to be together. She had to move so we did long distance relationship for over a year and we've always been together. We were each other's first kiss, held hands, love, and lots more.

But things change... sometimes if you have something good you just got to let it go. Believe me I fought for her for so long. I begged, made promises, went 200 miles just to see her and nothings changed. And this was all because we contantly argued. Imagine your situation, being unfaithful to him that's way worse. Sometimes its better to move on and find happiness some other way even if its not with the person you want it to be with. I know its hard to accept it right believe me it was hard for me! But if you do this its only going to bring pain to both you and him. I just want to save the pain for both of you guys. I know it shouldn't be based on what other people tell you and this is your life but if you continue down this road there is going to be lots of pain.

Sometimes its better to learn it the hard way and you won't know it for yourself until you've tried. That was what I thought at first and the people on here told me the same thing I'm telling you right now. Trust is broken between you guys and I don't think there can be a happy relationship anymore without trust. This is your life though, and if you want to continue this road that is yours decide but you also have to think about him. But yah just want you to know that once they told you they need some space, there is no point on holding onto them anymore and if you fight for him, afterwards you ll realize that its pointless and you ll be telling others the same thing I'm telling you right now when they ask you for advice.

kaboom1122 · Mar 31, 2009, 06:49 PM

Originally Posted by none12345

Well theres something that alot of people make as a mistakes in a relationship including me. I gave my ex everything, i left my friends and family, i spent so much on here, i moved for her and now she left me and im here left with nothing. i've learned that you never give everything in a relationship. its about sharing things so in case things dont work out you dont lose everything and have to start all over.

You should stop contacting him ad let him go and let him go find his happiness. You've already done enough to hurt him and he doesnt need that anymore. Once you do no contact with him you ll find out that you wont need him as much as you think you do and thats what everyone here is doing well most is stop contacting their ex to help you move on. Learn from this and if you love him let him go. Dont be selfish anymore. its not about you anymore. its about him. He did nothing wrong and all he got was hurtfulness.

Do your own things. Isnt this what you always wanted? to flirt around and be with other guys? well now your single and you can do all those things as much as you want and be with any guy you please. Just let him go and let him heal from what you have done to him. He needs someone that he can trust. He needs someone better and he deserves that. Dont get me wrong theres nothing wrong with flirting with guys and being with them BUT not when your with someone so do him a favour and let him go and be happy. If you really do love him like you say you do, you ll be willing to let him go.

As for you, learn from this. life goes on.... do your own stuff and if you find love again, you know what not to do this time around.

Well, thank you "none"?
I guess at first I found it hard to understand.. you were kind of harsh but now I know why..
You're a man. And I'm guessing you got in his shoes for a second; don't qet me wrong, I am still not off the hook from any point of view. & to tell you the truth there's more to this "Love story" then you think;; but its just not important anymore I hope I do learn for this horrible mistake. -i just don't want to let him go// I mean we both even got matching tatoos! Ugh

I HATE THIS! Shxt!

kaboom1122 · Mar 31, 2009, 06:55 PM

Originally Posted by none12345

Yah sorry im coming off a little harsh. but im really not trying to be mean but i know exactly how he feels because i was in the same position as he was. At first it got from being sad and now to anger but i still love her. Yah there was lots more to this love story with me too but the thing is it ended the same way. i've known this girl for 5 YEARS been best friends for a long time and decided to be together. She had to move so we did long distance relationship for over a year and we've always been together. We were each other's first kiss, held hands, love, and lots more.

But things change.... sometimes if you have something good you just gotta let it go. Believe me i fought for her for so long. I begged, made promises, went 200 miles just to see her and nothings changed. and this was all because we contantly argued. imagine your situation, being unfaithful to him thats way worse. sometimes its better to move on and find happiness some other way even if its not with the person you want it to be with. i know its hard to accept it right believe me it was hard for me!! But if you do this its only going to bring pain to both you and him. I just wanna save the pain for both of you guys. I know it shouldnt be based on what other people tell you and this is your life but if you continue down this road there is going to be lots of pain.

Sometimes its better to learn it the hard way and you wont know it for yourself until you've tried. That was what i thought at first and the people on here told me the same thing im telling you right now. Trust is broken between you guys and i dont think there can be a happy relationship anymore without trust. This is your life though, and if you want to continue this road that is yours decide but you also have to think about him. But yah just want you to know that once they told you they need some space, there is no point on holding onto them anymore and if you fight for him, afterwards you ll realize that its pointless and you ll be telling others the same thing im telling you right now when they ask you for advice.

Your completely right! I really needed something like that.. the thing is I really haven't talked to anyone about this/ thankss!

liz28 · Mar 31, 2009, 07:09 PM

None is right and you really do need to cut all communication with this guy because nothing is going come from it. I don't know if you considered what I wrote harsh but I know how it feels to be cheated on and the emotions connected to that awkful act. I was the receiver but unlike your boyfriend I never looked back but healed myself instead and in the end it only made me tougher.

But I know as we journey through life, were are bound to have experiences that we're proud of. Your going to have experiences that we're not too pleased with. Situations in which you may not have used our best judgment can sometimes nag at us over the years. We all mess up sometimes. But learning to forgive ourselves is a lot harder than forgiving others? The reason is simple. No one can beat us up better than we beat ourselves up.

Right now your holding yourself hostage and you need to release yourself by self forgiveness. Accept yourself as a human who has faults and makes mistakes. Let go of self-anger concerning past failures and mistakes.

You have to let it go because at least your doing want most people don't--accepting the blame and is not blaming anyone else. Again, let yourself go so you can set yourself free.

kaboom1122 · Apr 3, 2009, 05:27 PM

Threads merged

OMG I can't do this anymore, I find myself every second of the day every minute that passes by just thinking and wondering what happened to us? Idk what to do. I hate myself, I cry every time I hear a love song. Looking throw my Phone and I have NO TEXTS! NO MISSED CALLS! OMG ? What do I do.. im so sure he feels the same for me. I miss him so much his eyes his smilee OMG why was I so stupid! He's the only man for me. I know he is! Why is he gone? Why? Ughhh :,(

SORRY! You really didn't have to read ALL that!
Im so down, I feel weak inside/ it hurts AND I don't know if I'm ready for what's comingg? & My family still think were togetherr; I think that's going to be the hardest part for me to say to them.

I really thought this time was qonna be the same we fight and argue for a few days and then have make up sex and forqet everything ever happened! - I don't even have any F***ing friends to confort me!! Ugh just this stupid computer & you people!! LOL don't take it in the wrong way please!!

ITs Friday night and I'm home alone with no one to talk to and no where to go.. im so depressed!
WRITE BACK ASAP! :/

none12345 · Apr 3, 2009, 06:00 PM

Honestly kaboom, we gave you all the advice we already could. First of all why the hell would he come back to you when you were with another guy?? You totally broke his heart and he so deserves better. You miss him? Which one of us don't miss our ex? We all do but we're sticking to NC because its not about them anymore and its about ourselves. And sometimes we just got to accept reality and move on.

I told you already if he loves you he ll find you but if he doesn't than stop making him miserable and let him go. You broke his heart by being with another guy when you were with him... Im sure he knows how he feels about you and that's and there's nothing more you can do now but push him further away if you contact him... I told you already, if you love him you should let him be happy and let him go even if its not with you. I know its not what you want to hear but you got to face the facts, you have to let him go and stop being selfish and stop holding onto him.

You can't just have sex with him and then expects him to forget how you treated him in the first place. Its not like you're the only person who can give him sex. There are tons of other people out there he would rather do that with that didn't hurt him like you did and that will stay faithful to him. I don't expect him to come back after everything you did him so stop moping around and move on with your life. There's nothing more that we can tell you.

liz28 · Apr 3, 2009, 06:49 PM

You every hear that saying "you reap what you sow"? Well this is what is going on.

When your with someone you have to be able to trust them and you made him not to be able to trust you when you cheated. Trust went out the window because of your unfaithness and now your left feeling the way you do.

He sleeps with you because you allow it and you allow it because you think it a sign of forgiveness and the two of you getting back together. Sorry but it wasn't.

Now you have the "Humpy Dumpy" sypndrome and you need to put yourself back together piece by piece. Guilt is eating at you but you need to forgive yourself by letting the guilt go.

MiSSsy111222 · Apr 4, 2009, 05:59 AM

I read your story and all that you are feeling is caused by yourself, so stop moping around. I don't have no sympathy for you, try to imgine how your ex feels, maybe then you will stop feeling sorry for yourself. You realise what you had and now its gone.

The quote "you made your bed now lie in it" applies to you.

The only advice that I will give you is to keep busy, concentrate on yourself. Forgive yourself and don't expect your ex to want you back.

Whatever24 · Apr 4, 2009, 06:31 AM

Why don't you talk to him if you want him back that badly, and maybe little by little things will go back to normal again? Tell him how you feel about it, I'm pretty sure he misses you too. But I'm just saying this so maybe he will give you a 2nd chance maybe not I don't know him. Any way, good luck!