[KRH22]

I've been dating the same girl for about 5 years and just yesterday I got dumped. The pain is tremendous and I did not need this extra pain on top of everything else I'm dealing with.

She told me she needed to experience things on her own and that she was too dependent on me that she loves me and knows she will regret the decision she is making but has to find out who she is.

This doesn't make sense to me. On top of that on valentines day she baked me cookies and brownies and made me a homemade card that says "I will love you forever and all ways" from your babe.

Never before have I been so confused and hurt. Can anyone out there explain to me what she mean?

[neverme]

Welcome to Dumpsville, population: most of the people that frequent this forum. Its not fun but most of us are in it together.

Have a look at the stickies at the top of this forum they are actually quite good.

No one can tell you for sure what happened inside her head, but what we can do is be here to listen to you, and give you somewhere safe to rant, and be upset, and get angry etc. etc.

So sorry for the sh*t, and it is, I know.

Best of Luck and Keep us posted.

[Luscious Leo]

She was getting to "used" to you. Although the relationship was deep, it lacked the adventure of a new found one. She feels that maybe you guys were involved so long that she lost sense of herself and needs to find out where she stands in this crazy world, without you. It's simple as black and white with no areas shaded with gray. She gave you a very detailed explanation of why she can't be with you. More than some break ups get.
It makes sense for you to be upset after 5 years, I mean, whom wouldn't?
I say, get together with your buddies, drink a few beers and do what she's doing- find yourself. Do some things that you've always wanted to. Spend more time with the guys, hang out with your family, expand a hobby, find a new interest. Apparently she's not the one.

[mckenzie134]

Heard this a few times before, she says I love you so much, but just need to do more things by myself, you are my whole world and I need to know I can be on my own...

Real story is I'm not too sure if I really want to stay with you forever and I just don't fel the same as I used too... You may love your family forever doesn't mean you want to hang out with your sister everyday!!

She wants something new and wants to move on and probably loves you but not in the same way anymore..

More than likely she will have a new guy in a month or 2 and you will be saying what the hell, I thought you wanted to enjoy and find yourself,

Sorry mate but a lot of girls like this seem to like guys for the security and now yourve served your purpose, I'm guessinshe is about 22 23 its time for her too move on and she is less afraid than when you first met...

Its hard mate but time too let this one go...

And one more thing bud... don't get confused and think of last week when she said I love you so much, we will be together forever "I can't imagine my life without you"

Well young girls say a lot too suit themselves... you'll be old news in a few months, so get on top of things as soon as you can... don't give her an inch..

Tell you one thing if she calls and so fourth don't feel mean just don't answer tell her she needed the break and that's what she has got... let her clear her head

LET HER MISS U!!

[kpangor]

I don't want to say it , but she is seeing someone else that's how those situation mostly turned out..
Again I hope its not the case
Hope everything work out like you want.. good luck

[ylaira]

I strongly believe that she's either bored with you or tired on whatever it is she's trying to change.

[jmw0713]

You have to let her go. She is using this excuse to end it while trying not to crush you... which is impossible. You cannot worry about her or what she is doing in her life anymore. Her feelings for you have changed and it really doesn't matter why, or how. Just know and accept that somewhere along the line they did and there is nothing you can do to change them.

She may want to keep you around as a "friend". Don't do this right now. The emotions you feel right now will not go away if you hang around. They will get worse and you will just hinder the healing process.

One thing you must do is respect her decision and let her go. There is no point in begging, or doing irrational things to get her back. This is where the famous NC (No Contact) rule you've been reading about comes into play. This means you must NOT call her, email her, text her, IM her, or contact her in ANY way. I know that this will be tremendously difficult, but it is essential you start doing this now.

It will be tremendously hard for a while, until you finally rebuild your own life back to the way it was before you knew her and realize things about the relationship. There will be time for reflection back on things later. This will help you see things for what they were. There will be memories and feelings that will surface for a while, but everyday you stick to NC it will get a TINY bit better. The heart ache you feel is tremendous, but just give everything time to settle down.

The only way to do this is, is to cut her out of your life, and reconnect with friends and family. Get busy trying to find things you like to do and attempt to have fun being single. It is difficult to see how to do this right now. She is on your mind 24/7. Let me tell you one thing, once you give yourself enough time away from her, doing what YOU want, you will start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I will tell you, it will take a few months to a year, but you WILL eventually feel like you can move on. Doing things for yourself and having fun with friends and family gets this process going faster.

In the next few days, talk about what happened with your close family and friends. Stay as distracted as possible (you will still be thinking about her, but it will help). Go to the gym, it will help relieve the stress and anxiety associated with the break-up. Avoid alcohol and drugs for now. If you think you need professional advice or help, set it up now.

Take everything you have that reminds you of her and either throw it away, or put it in a box and stash it out of sight.

Remember we are all here to talk to. We have all shared the same amount of heartbreak you have. Share your stories and experiences. This will help you see things for what they were.

Welcome to AMHD.