[myselfme99]

Hey guys... hope you all can help me out here. Will try to make my post as short as possible...

Its been a 6 days my girlfriend broke up our 2 yrs strong relationship... I used the word strong because I was never in love with someone so deeply and it was the same for her as well...

Well when she called it "quit" she was like she does love me but needs some space for now etc.. Same night we texted she responded as well saying sorry but I miss you too bad... blah blah blah.. but the next day I called her that I wanted to talk to her she was mad and furious she made me feel like I was talking to a stranger for an appointment to meet so then I hung up dang... that hurt me so freaking much... then I didn't make any contact whatsoever for 2 days but at the same I missed her so much even though I was angry I was ready to forgive her because in anger people say things which they don't mean you know...

Anyway as on the 3rd day she was on 7 days trip to meet her parents out of the country well then I emailed her the 2nd night of her trip (long email) because I missed her too bad and wanted to hear something from her... well haven't heard from her at all sometimes I just feel like calling her straight but I'm too scared that I may hear the same pissed off woman like our last conversation...

As I read a lot of post here... I think No Contact is the Word... but in 3 weeks time I'm going to be leaving the country for 6 months which she knows too but she doesn't know that I'm leaving in 3 weeks it was tentatively 2 months when we were together.

So my question is sh'l I tell her tru email or text her or just call her... I m so confused if no contact is the way then I would feel terrible if I don't tell her or see her before I leave the country.

I would appreciate if someone could throw few advise for me.

Thank you very much.

[ATYOURSERVICE]

If it really was that strong she would have not broken it off. Why shoould you feel bad about leaving?

The "space" thing always means there is someone else or interest in someone else.

I agree, no contact.

[JoeCanada76]

Why are you going out of the country for 6 months? It seems to me that you both are doing things that are going to cause an separation anyway, am I wrong?

Your going overboard in the emails , etc... you need to stop.

If you feel the necessity of telling her that you are going away in 3 weeks then let her know, it is up to you.

Like the above answer has said.. If it was so strong then there would be no reason for separation you both are in different places right now.

[wikedjuggalo]

Look man take it from someone who is/had gone through the break period. Occupy your time and take it as its over for now. Do not and this is not to win her back or anything but to help you, go no contact. Let her contact you if she wants. Do not sit on the back burner for her so when she is done doing what she wants can just come back to comfort zone. She can not have her cake and eat it too man.

I cannot explain how I felt being put on hold while she figured out what she wanted. I know exactly how you feel. Go no contact when ever you get the urge to text, call or e-mail write it on here. If you keep contacting her you will push her further away. Her lashing out proves that.

You need to know there is nothing you can do to change a persons feelings. Do not dwell in your room get out and live life as hard as it sounds.

Listen to the people on here man they know what they are talking about it might seem hopeless and pointless but they truly know what they are talking about.

[talaniman]

No Contact is for people to heal after a break up. Its for you to have time to let the emotional dust settle and you can get your own act together. It lets you keep your dignity and self respect, by focusing on you and your coping with your loss.

Having said that, we have what you have said.

its been a 6 days my girlfriend broke up our 2 yrs strong relationship... I used the word strong because I was never in love with someone so deeply and it was the same for her as well...

Somewhere along the line her feelings changed and for whatever reasons, she obviously didn't feel the same.

That's something you have to accept, and respect. I would advice you to let this go for now, and leave her alone, and rebuild your own life without her in it, and cope with your loss. Great time to do other things, with other people, and resist the urge to contact her in any fashion or form. Give this and yourself, some time to be okay with this change in your life.

Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum, and get a better understanding of NC, and why it is so highly recommended, at least by me.

I truly suspect, she and you, would have separated anyway, as you both have plans that takes you in different directions.

[myselfme99]

Thank you for prompt response.

"atyouservice"- yes you are right if it was so strong then why break off well it did faded off in the end for her which is obvious.


"jesushelper"- I will be away for 6 months for work purpose and just before we broke my girlfriend was going to join me as well whenever I was leaving.

"wickedjuggalo"- I hear you loud and clear... and I know people here know what they are talking otherwise I wouldn't have been here asking for help.

"talaniman"- appreciate your post too... well this has been so double feeling kind of thing my graph is like at the peak and same time at the bottom.

[myselfme99]

So guys sh'l I ignore her and not talk at all whenever we bump into each other at work place. We don't work at same place but its like very next door.

[Wondergirl]

well when she called it "quit" she was like she does love me but needs some space for now etc.. same night we texted she responded as well saying sorry but i miss you too bad...blah blah blah.. but the next day i called her that i wanted to talk to her she was mad and furious she made me feel like i was talking to a stranger for an appointment to meet so then i hung up dang...that hurt me so freaking much

She's had more time to think about this than you have. In fact, she has been thinking about breaking up ("needing space") for a long time and finally got up the courage to tell you.

I don't get a hopeful feeling when I read your post. It won't matter to her when you are going away; she has no plans to go with you no matter what. She's pushing you away before you leave so it won't be an issue between you. Observe the NC thing and get on with your life.

[ATYOURSERVICE]

Be the better person and say Hi. Be courteous. You don't have to ask her anything... but don't be an about it. She can turn it around and say "what a "... right?

She choose to break it off, not you.

[germain]

First off.. any serious relationship doesn't involve "text conversations". Obviously the occasional sweet texts are needed but never a full blown conversation. That's childish, and not a serious relationship. Scratch texting her out of your mind completely. If it's serious you will not act immature about this. The mature thing to do is call her, ask her meet up someplace relaxing and alive (by that I mean there will be other people around) either restaurant or park will do, and tell her then. The idea to be around people will keep you both calm and no yelling will be issued because quite plainly there's people around and usually normal people don't want to make a scene. So no yelling = no anger. No anger = flowing conversation between the two of you and none of the "heat of the moment" crap. Call her, say you understand how things are right now and ask kindly if she will meet with you. Let her no talking in person makes a hell of a difference then on the phone because you can see and feel the person. It's not just a voice. Go for it.

[myselfme99]

Thank you guys for your responses...

Well she did reply my email and whatever she said on email meant no need of more argument and discussion over it because according to her she doesn't have that respect for me as she had it before and justification will not bring me back for now though that's her words. Well I know I love her too much but at the same time if she is happy being apart then that's good... now I do respect her decision because even if I convinced to get her back then our daily life won't be like before will feel like pressured.

Anyway I feel better after I heard a word from her. After she comes back I'm going to tell about my departure and end this on a friendly note because I just cannot hate the same person in a day or months or year) whom I love A lot.

Right now I really don't have any feelings to get her back and may be there is hope or none at all later. All I want for now is to focus my life and start moving ahead if she wants to come back then at that time I can think about it carefully and not fret about it now.

You guys are truly doing an amazing job here.

Thanks A MILLION!!

Cheers.

[Kati-Katt]

Originally from wickedjuggalo:

Look man take it from someone who is/had gone through the break period. Occupy your time and take it as its over for now. Do not and this is not to win her back or anything but to help you, go no contact. Let her contact you if she wants. Do not sit on the back burner for her so when she is done doing what she wants can just come back to comfort zone. She can not have her cake and eat it too man.

I agree with that, a lot of girls now days like to have more then one option and it's sad but it's true. You can't wait around for her to come back to you. If she still has feelings for you she'll come back. If she doesen't then that shouldn't be your problem as much as it may hurt. It would kind of be hard to keep in a relationship like you claim you had if your that far away. Try taking it from a girl who has been in this situation but on the girls point of view... I've felt what you've been through too. Getting dumped is not a piece of cake, especially when you really have feelings for them. I had to do this once to a guy... I still had feelings for him but it's just I didden't feel much of a connection when we talked. Like I miss him and everything but the feeling is numbed. Possibly were you not seeing her enough? Or too much? Girls take those kind of things really seriously and because all females eventually pms that doesen't help either and get annoyed easily with people for no reason. If I were you I'd let her know you still like her.. alot even, and if she's letting you go then that's her loss, not yours.

[myselfme99]

Appreciate your view... are you my girlfriend because you do sound like her :-)... well it was that I was spending too much time with her.. of course she knows that how much I care and love her then she wouldn't have even cared to reply my email... as she says she lost respect towards and she says in her email that you are an awesome person but not on romantic level anymore... well what can I say now.

[wikedjuggalo]

appreciate ur view... are u my gf coz u do sound like her :-)... well it was that i was spending too much time with her..of course she knows that how much i care and love her then she wouldnt have even cared to reply my email... as she says she lost respect towards and she says in her email that you are an awesome person but not on romantic level anymore...well what can i say now.

Well what you can do is lift you head up and embrace the wide world. Use this as a learning experience because if you do not then the pain will be all for nothing and you will be doomed to repeat it. Do not hold on to false hope, like I said it sucks and the pain will be there for a while but get out and live life do not slowly decay away in a dark corner of a room.

[myselfme99]

Hey "wicked"... of course I know the fact that its not end of the world and I have things to do in life... I m not a kind of person who will keep myself locked in a room... I have had hard times in my life and my attitude towards life has always been like finding happiness in the saddest, f**kiest moments too... there is always some good in bad .

As for my girlfriend of course I love her and love her a lot but I just cannot hate a person whom I wanted to spend my life with... as of now my hopes of getting her back or not is "zilch" because I know in time I will get the ans for sure but now it's a BIG confusion even fortune teller can choke on this ;-)

Women are indeed complicated not to say men are too on lower level.

[wikedjuggalo]

hey "wicked"...of course i know the fact that its not end of the world and i have things to do in life...i m not a kind of person who will keep myself locked in a room...i have had hard times in my life and my attitude towards life has always been like finding happiness in the saddest, f**kiest moments too...there is always some good in bad .

as for my gf of course i love her and love her alot but i just cannot hate a person whom i wanted to spend my life with...as of now my hopes of getting her back or not is "zilch" coz i know in time i will get the ans for sure but now its a BIG confusion even fortune teller can choke on this ;-)

women are indeed complicated not to say men are too on lower level.

That is good :) but remember these things are like roller coasters they go up and down. You might feel that way today but tomorrow you very well might feel the opposite. I wish you the best in the healing process.

[myselfme99]

Since past 2 days the percentage of up is more then being down though I lost weight but man I do look good now ;-).

[myselfme99]

Hey guys... since my healing process is like up and down I sometimes come up with some questions and post it here.

- is it good after break-up to become just "friends" ?

-when a girl calls it "quit" does this has better chances of getting back together later or when the guy calls it "quit" has... which has the higher percentage?

-also this question to woman only... when girlfriend breaks up do they really don't care about the guy they loved before or they are just acting like they done care and keep distance??

Well so far I'm doing okay... sometimes I really really really miss her but then sometimes its like what the heck!!

[wikedjuggalo]

hey guys...since my healing process is like up and down i sometimes come up with some questions and post it here.

- is it good after break-up to become just "friends" ?

-when a girl calls it "quit" does this has better chances of getting back together later or when the guy calls it "quit" has...which has the higher percentage?

-also this question to woman only....when gf breaks up do they really dont care about the guy they loved before or they are just acting like they done care n keep distance???

well so far i m doing okay...sometimes i really really really miss her but then sometimes its like what the heck !!!

No it is not a good idea to be just friends. You still have feelings for her and in the end you will just get hurt.

Does it matter what the percent is ? You should not dwell on things like that because then you are just delaying the healing process and holding to false hope.

I'm not a girl but I can give you my opinion on what I have seen. I do believe at the time she said she had feelings for you she meant it but people change. Most of the time it falls into two category's. Things changed or being played. Honestly with you I think she did have feelings for you but as time went on things changed.She wants to see what else is out there. Instead of dwelling explore the world, know someone out there will show you the same amount of love and compassion back as you do to them.

This is like a roller coaster like I said some days will be good some days will be bad just keep your head up and stay no contact.

[myselfme99]

Thanks for your response... I know my questions were very simple of getting an idea of what will / can happen... I think its one of the symptoms of this so called "healing process".