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You have to remember through your desire to get her back that she cannot have it both ways. She asked you for a break. Fine, it's her life. But she cannot be trying to make you feel guilty for not...

FC: Read my post by clicking on my profile. Specifically read the stuff posted by Chuff and Tal. I can't sum up their words, but they give some excellent food for thought about worrying about HER...

I totally agree with Homegirl's last post, FC. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, man. Read my story if you want to see an example of someone else who went through the "mental prison"...

I responded to your last thread on this situation, and it seems like not much has changed. It also sounds to me like you are putting way more thought into everything about her life in the past and...

Hey there - I know from experience how hard it is to let someone go who you're in love with. You're asking how you should and shouldn't act when you see her, with your goal being to get her back. ...

Walk away. You owe her nothing, just as she owes you nothing. Sounds like you got in too deep, too fast. Happens to the best of us. Just shake it off and move on. Good luck.

Hey tiodaat, I'm sorry to hear about how the bad feelings are consuming you. I know the feeling. I would first of all recommend reading the sticky (if you haven't already) written by "friend4u" at...

Friend4U - woooooooow. This is a true masterpiece. And such a valuable post for people to turn to when they need a reminder that how they're feeling and acting in those dark desperate times is...

To play the devil's advocate here, I don't think that every guy in male-male-female threesome porn is gay. And I don't think you're necessarily gay if you're a guy who gets off on male-male-female...

If you've been jealous and smothering with her, well, by definition it must be because you're worried about her hooking up with other guys. So unless you suddenly became non-jealous out of the blue,...

Congrats on feeling better Zoo - hope to see you pop in from time to time for updates on how you're doing...

Jshelton, it's tough when you're so close to the situation that you can't see clearly. But it sounds like you're looking for a way out, and your gut is telling you that this is not going to work in...

Because she's got you under her spell. And the spell that she casts on you is stronger than the one you cast on her so she controls you emotionally. And the reason her spell is stronger than yours...

First of all, that "morale" thing that she decided to plague your thoughts with sounds exaaaactly like something my ex would do. My ex would tell me about how she could feel guys at her office get...

Hey SuperFudd, sorry to hear about how things went down. I have very similar patterns as you with women, in terms of falling for ones who are dazzling and exciting but who I can never fully trust. ...

[QUOTE=Sandstorm99]I will have to stay gone.QUOTE]

This may sound a bit far-fetched, but I think psychologically you've put it really well in saying you have to "stay gone." Maybe this board...

Hey Sandstorm, I found it hard to read your post because it was so emotionally honest and reminded me in many ways of my own situation, although within only a quarter of your timeframe. In my last...

That's a really difficult question. If Tom has hit you, that's inexcusable and you should have left the minute it happened. Instead, you just started emotionally cheating on him with Bob. It's...

A valid warning - hopefully won't be the case. I just figured I had nothing to lose at this point. And I won't have any "what ifs" lingering in my head. It felt like the right thing to do.

Thanks all who've responded so far - I did send the card with the tickets enclosed. Just a brief note with a couple of light jokes. I figured I'd do the opposite of what my original instinct was,...

I think that I am just going to send a birthday card with the tickets enclosed and keep it neutral. Because I think at some point I have to forgive to move on - the sooner the better. It will throw...

Also, I have tickets that I originally bought for a couple of things this weekend in her city. Does that factor into this at all and how I should approach it?

Also, who knows if she's still with...

Thanks Tal, but whoa please explain further. You think I should send a birthday card? Isn't that sort of saying "hey, don't worry about treating me like crap, have a great day with your new guy?" ...

Hey all, I could really use some advice right now because I'm a bit of a mess. My stuff came in the mail today with a postcard that simply said:

"Hey - I tried to get a card, but all sold out of...

He obviously was and is a coward in disguise. People can turn out to be much different than they appear. And it takes absolutely no effort to say "I love you" or to rip off Jerry Maguire and say...

Thanks again for the thoughts. I guess what was going through my head was the question: "How bad has she treated me here?" Which I guess is a key part of letting go. Because it's a lot harder to...

Hey all,

Well, here I am after 1 month of absolutely no contact trying to give occasional advice in other threads based on my own experience, and still struggling myself.

I wonder if anyone's...

And I think a key thing to remember, too, and a bitter pill to swallow for me as well, is that they simply don't care as much as you do. So telling her off will only emphasize how much more you care...

I've made absolutely no sense of how things went down in my situation, unfortunately. I figure it's virtually impossible to make sense of someone acting so suddenly insensitive! And, no, my ex has...

Rileyma, I've read through many, many stories on this site and your story parallels my own I think more than any other. I too have struggled through three weeks now of no contact after I found out...

Thanks for the reply Cvtldy54. You'll have to read the rest of the thread, as circumstances changed quite a bit.

And still open to people's opinions on the "getting stuff back" and what's the...

Well Tal, I wish it would let me spread the rep with you. I always value your advice.

I can't use the tickets myself, because they're in her town, not mine, and can't afford the airfare. Also,...

And I should clarify about the tickets - I bought them when we were still together - mentioned them as a possibility because she didn't really like surprises - then checked with her before buying...

Thanks for the further advice. There are two more things I'm struggling with. The first is that I bought over 240 dollars worth of non-refundable tickets for her birthday weekend in late June, but...

Thanks for the advice Tal and Chuff. I don't think my father would want to get involved with taking the stuff back, but good idea anyway. I really don't want to call her either, because hearing her...

One question I never asked myself while I was going the hell you're going through and micro-analyzing every email and wondering how to get her to miss me and come back was this: even if she came...

This girl has shown tremendous disrespect to you and to your relationship. She lied to you about important stuff several times, and she obviously needs a lot of male attention outside the...

Do you really think contacting your ex is going to help you? Guide for the long walk - LoveShack.org Community Forums

The above post from a different forum is worth reading for those trying to get...

So after 2 weeks of NC she still hasn't tried to contact me or the mutual friend. I wouldn't reply anyway, but I have to admit being really puzzled at why this is the case. Any theories?

The...

For the last few posters, she did it already...

And I'm kind of amazed that more people don't think that this is a fake poster who is mocking the forum by seeing who replies.

Only time will tell if she comes running back to you. I do know that she cannot be IN love with you and date others. Don't let the "I love yous" mess with your head - they're easy words for anyone...

Dude, I really feel for you here. It doesn't get much worse than what you are probably feeling right now. I've been there, it's all so fresh, and you're going to feel panic, anxiety, lack of focus,...

And since all goodwill is gone here, she will not put in that time and effort.

I think you need to ask yourself the tough questions here. Her cheating on you was wrong. You spying on her was wrong. And this relationship is wrong, for you and for her. You need to just walk...

There very well may be someone else. Decisions aren't made in a vacuum. It is hard to imagine why she would simply tells you she wants the "opportunity" to date others and not have the intention of...

Step back for a second and look at how you two have acted towards each other. Pretend you're us reading this. She betrayed your trust at perhaps the deepest possible level by cheating on you. And...

Thanks for the thoughts, chuff. That's the thing that ashames me right now - I still can't help wondering "why, why, why" and wasting more mental energy on this. I mean, the fact that she...

If anyone has any thoughts on how this ended or how it was handled, I'd be interested to hear them.

Call me jaded from my recent mess (and I am), but if she's indicating to you explicitly or even subtly that she's not over her ex, run for cover from this girl. My ex insisted that I not introduce...

Thanks for the further advice - a special thank you to chuff for the amazingly insightful broken-down response. Tried to spread the rep but wouldn't let me.

So this is how the story ends. On...