[AnyAdvicePlease]

Hello,
I hope someone will be able to offer me some advice please.
I did try posting this and it seems to have got lost somewhere so please accept my apologies if it comes through twice.
To cut a very long story shorter...
My husband left myself and two children a couple of years ago, and whether it was that or a combination of things and of course hormones I have no idea, but my eldest son started behaving very differently.
Always a good boy, and never really in to any trouble, quite often people would comment on how well mannered and pleasant he was, and he was. I must admit to spoiling both boys, they always had everything they wanted, as much as was reasonable and I could afford of course.
He was almost 15 (nearly a year since my husband left) when he started staying out late, missing the last bus, turning his phone off. Then skipping school, smoking, drinking, being confrontational and disrespectful.
Whenever I would try to talk to him about it he would storm off in a mood, and not come home, which was worrying.
On one occasion it blew up as he came home with a serious attitude, smelling of marijuana. Once again I tried to talk to him, I was worried sick.
He started to storm off again, he had done this numerous times. In a desperate measure, and not thinking right as I was panicking, I said to him that storming off wasn't going to address the problems and as he went out of the door I said to him that if he went this time not to come back. It was a stupid thing to say, I guess I was just trying to shock him into thinking about what he was doing, and make him talk to me. It was fooish and I will never forgive myself.
He went to live with my sister. It was the school summer break and so I gave him some cooling off time but wrote him a 'missing you' card, telling him how much we love him and that I just wanted the best for him and wanted to stop him making the wrong decisions in life etc, and of course that I wanted for him to come home.
I didn't get a response.
When the summer break was nearing an end I got a phone call from my other sister to say he was moving in with her. I suggested that erhaps she could encourage him to come home, and we ended up having words and falling out!
I have contacted him numerous times since with cards, texts, etc telling him we love him and miss him, sent him money and gifts, bought him a laptop to help with his schooling.
Still no response.
Today I text him and asked him if he was OK and what would he like for Christmas. I got a response telling me that he wanted nothing, that I should leave him alone and that he no longer saw me as part of his family and that I was just a silloutte in his past.
I called my parents, they said that he has cut himself off from all of them, my sisters and his friends too. That he is living with a 26 year old guy that no one knows and he has even fallen out withmy dad, who he had great respect for, saying that we are all 'f**ked Up' and that he wanted nothing to do with any of us. This came after he told my dad that he was no longer going to carry on his schooling and my dad had tried to convince him he should.(My parents hadn't told me before as they didn't know what to say)
Is there anyone who can offer any advice. I know I have messed up, but is there anything I can do now?
I am absolutely heart broken by it all and so worried about him
He does work locally, at the same place as my sister, although he now has no respect for her and hardly will even speak to her, but at least we know he is safe at the moment

[Sitkadiver]

Just so you know up front, I am by no means an expert. However, at the bottom of the pag you can view a list of experts on this site. So if it helps, maybe fire off an e-mail to one of those folks.

My non-expert advice to you would be to hang in there and not give up, teenage boys get confused by a lot of things, I know I did.

Also, I would recommend looking into family counceling(sp). You may not be able to get your son involved, but the advice and confidentialy may benefit you also. There are great resources in the Yellow pages and for minors, the State of Alaska provides counceling through the state, perhaps your home state does too.

My best wishes to you.