Cover Letter inadequate

ChihuahuaMomma · #1 Aug 18, 2009, 01:01 AM

Hi there, I need a little help sprucing up my cover letter. I found the job I've been drooling over for 6 years and I'm applying but figured that my resume needed a face-lift. PLEASE HELP!

Here it is in its current state:

Cherish A. Lastnamington
1234 S. Yourmom Rd.
Vancouver, WA 98664
(360) 555-2345

Dear Employer:

I am enclosing a resume for your review. Please consider this letter as my formal application presenting my background, education and experience.

I have considerable work experience for someone my age. I work well with people and enjoy getting the work at hand completed. I am a hard worker and take pride in whatever I do.

May I arrange an interview to further discuss my qualifications? I am available for an interview at a mutually convenient time. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Cherish A. Lastnamington
(Enclosure)

Clough · Aug 18, 2009, 01:30 AM

Hi, Momma!

Let's work on this!

Here's how I would suggest beginning and wording a cover letter so that it sounds the most professional. I'm assuming that your contact information as well as your name are ficticious. At least what I've typed below could be a start.

Cherish A. Lastnamington
1234 S. Yourmom Rd.
Vancouver, WA 98664
(360) 555-2345
The above would be your contact information. It would be your letterhead.

Next, please put the date of the letter. This could be centered or left-justified.

Next, please put the name and address to whom it is to be sent. These would be left-justified.

Dear Employer: (Using the colon is okay.) (It would be best to be addressing the letter to the specific name of the person to whom it is being sent. If you don't know the name of the person, then I would suggest finding that out.)

I am enclosing a resume for your review. Please consider this letter as my formal application presenting my background, education and experience.

Instead of the above: Please accept this correspondence as an indication of my interest in applying for the position of (position) that you have available.

I have considerable work experience for someone my age. I work well with people and enjoy getting the work at hand completed. I am a hard worker and take pride in whatever I do.

Instead of the above: Throughout my career, I have enjoyed (interfacing with, working with, meeting the needs of clients, serving others, etc.) I'm a people person who enjoys working with and meeting the needs of others.

May I arrange an interview to further discuss my qualifications? I am available for an interview at a mutually convenient time. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Instead of the above: Please find attached (or, enclosed, a copy of my resume.) I look forward to an opportunity to discuss how my (specific skills listed, experience, skills and ability, etc.) can be of service in serving the needs of (name of the company.) (This could also be expanded upon, depending upon the specific position.)

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Cherish A. Lastnamington
(Enclosure)

This is a work in progress. I know that there is a time element here.

Thanks!

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 18, 2009, 01:32 AM

It's an outside optical sales job. So selling glasses to the shops that sell glasses. All I have is an email address and the job decsription, it's a Craigslist posting. But the information you've provided me with is very helpful.

Clough · Aug 18, 2009, 01:34 AM

I would just like to add, Momma, that they aren't going to be concerned about your age.

What they will be interested in, is your training and on-the-job experience, your ability to do the job to the best of your ability to benefit the company and your ability to get along and work with others in carrrying out the various job functions that you might need to do.

Thanks!

Clough · Aug 18, 2009, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

It's an outside optical sales job. So selling glasses to the shops that sell glasses. All I have is an email address and the job decsription, it's a Craigslist posting. But the information you've provided me with is very helpful.

Gosh! That was fast, Momma! I've hardly had time to react!