Cover Letter inadequate

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 18, 2009, 01:01 AM

Hi there, I need a little help sprucing up my cover letter. I found the job I've been drooling over for 6 years and I'm applying but figured that my resume needed a face-lift. PLEASE HELP!

Here it is in its current state:

Cherish A. Lastnamington
1234 S. Yourmom Rd.
Vancouver, WA 98664
(360) 555-2345

Dear Employer:

I am enclosing a resume for your review. Please consider this letter as my formal application presenting my background, education and experience.

I have considerable work experience for someone my age. I work well with people and enjoy getting the work at hand completed. I am a hard worker and take pride in whatever I do.

May I arrange an interview to further discuss my qualifications? I am available for an interview at a mutually convenient time. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Cherish A. Lastnamington
(Enclosure)

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 18, 2009, 01:43 AM

Will be calling on Opticians, Retailers, and Eye Doctors.
Industry experience preferred(Optical), or will also consider Outside sales experience.
Some travel necessary

---forward resume for consideration---

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 18, 2009, 01:51 AM

This is what I have changed the body to:

Please accept this correspondence as an indication of my interest in applying for the position of Optical Outside Sales Representative that you have available.

Throughout my career, I have enjoyed working with and meeting people from every background. I'm a people person who enjoys working with and meeting the needs of others.

Please find attached a copy of my resume. I look forward to an opportunity to discuss how my optical experience can be beneficial in serving the needs of your clients.

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 18, 2009, 01:57 AM

I did it....

Clough · Aug 18, 2009, 02:39 AM

I'm sorry, Momma!

I was just writing my epitaph to Starby and balling my eyes out while doing so! She and I had collaborated together on so many threads and also communicated in other ways...

I'm back now, if you would like to continue with what you need to go for that job.

Thanks!

Clough · Aug 18, 2009, 02:58 AM

I can see that you're now offline here, Momma. We can work on this, tomorrow. Now that you've formatted your letter in a different way, there are some things that we can add to it to spice it up and catch their eye.

Thanks!

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 18, 2009, 11:36 AM

I've already mailed it. I miss Starby too.

Clough · Aug 18, 2009, 02:09 PM

Would you please let me know if you get an interview or not, Momma?

Thanks!

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 18, 2009, 11:59 PM

Of course!!

Clough · Aug 19, 2009, 12:08 AM

Thanks, Momma! If you don't get an interview, or get an interview and don't get the job, then there are some things that we can discuss doing in order to better prepare youself for getting both your "feet in the door" and having a better chance at landing the next job.

Thanks!

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 19, 2009, 01:20 AM

I have a really good job right now, and wasn't really looking for a new one. But I always search job sites for this one and for a caseworker job for the DDD.



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