Is a Christian under obligation to associate with an offending person on a friendly basis in order to show that he has forgiven him? Does refusal to associate indicate lack of forgiveness? Or does it all depend on the gravity of the offense?

chuff

The short answer is no. Forgiveness is something you do to heal yourself. You forgive the other person for what he or she did to you then you move on. Forgiveness is a way of saying to yourself, I can't help what that person did to me, but they are now gone out of my life and I'm allowing myself to move on in a forward direction without them or there thoughts holding me back.

Starman

Suppose the person accuses us of not forgiving him because we refuse to associate with him? Takes our refusal as proof that he or she hasn't really been forgiven? I saw this happen once between two Christians. One claimed to have forgiven but evaded the other claiming that she wasn't under any obligation to associate. The other claimed that the refusal proved forgiveness hadn't really taken place.

BTW
The refusal to associte was based on the scripture which states that bad association is detrimental to spiritual health. In short, the offended Christian viewed the other as being too much in touch with the world to be good association so she tried to keep a safe distance.

RickJ

I agree, the answer is no. Of course sometimes it does happen, but one does not cause or require the other.

chuff

You never have to speak to them again. If there guilt makes them believe they have not been forgiven that's there problem. Forgiveness is a tool you can use to promote and forward your own life. What your forgiveness makes another person feel or not feel is there problem, not yours.

31pumpkin

If the offended one HAS forgiven, that is fine. If the past offender wants to still claim she is unforgiving b/c she won't associate with him on a friendly basis -well, obviously the past offender didn't listen to her explanation of why she won't associate now.
Her reasons ARE Bible-based. Although a very casual hello, how are you, & goodbye is fine. Any close association with someone who is too in touch with worldly things can be detrimental to our spiritual life.

Consider this- Written by Kenneth Copeland.
CHOOSE FRIENDS WISELY
"I wrote you in my(previous) letter not to associate(closely and habitually) with unchaste(impure) people." 1Corinthians 5:9, The Amplified Bible.
The company you keep has such an influence on your spiritual life. Fellowshiping with godly people will help speed you on your way to victory, while fellowshiping with those who are ungodly will drag you down to defeat. That is why the Bible has some things to say about your friends. That is why it tells you to separate yourself from the world. Because evil companions will corrupt you.
Now, I am not talking about ministry. Jesus Himself ministered to sinners. You have to mix with them to preach to them and pray for them. What I am talking about here are the people you choose for friends. If you want to walk in things of the Lord, don't choose friends who walk in things of the devil, people who talk and act ungodly, who don't give God any place in their lives. They'll pull you down. As you rub shoulders with them, you'll expose yourself to tempation. You'll get so familiar with sin it will start to appear less repulsive to you. Sooner or later, you'll fall into it.
So choose your friends wisely. Fellowship with those who call on the Name of the Lord out of a pure heart(2 TIM 2:22)Expose yourself to their love and peace. Let their faith rub off on you. ( FAITH TO FAITH 1999)

So yes, even if that person is a Born-again Christian, he could be dabbling too much in the world. Good that she let him know too!

ordinaryguy

This just shows what a slippery slope it is to judge someone else's motives. First thing you know, Christians are accusing each other of being insincere in their forgiveness, and of being too worldly, while quoting scripture to justify their attitude.

Jesushelper76

What about family members. Family members can bring you down all the time. Are you suppose to keep letting them treat you badly or are you going to say enough is enough and stop the contact. They think they are right and your wrong and everything is the other persons fault. The thing is you can chose your friends but not your family.

How to deal with that.

Joe

Starman

I think that the following scripture has some bearing on your question.

Matthew 12:50
For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.



I agree about judging motives in reference to forgiveness in this particular case. I disagree that we shouldn't evaluate a lifestyle or conduct as too worldly based on what we are told in the scriptures.


Hopefully our forgivenes will set a good example for the person and help him out spiritually. I am speaking from the Christian standpoint where we are told to care about the welfare of our neighbor and love others as ourselves.

ordinaryguy

Are a person's motives relevant for judging whether they are being too worldly, or is it simply a matter of conduct?