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You would think after 8 months i would be ok....but my emotions are still all over the place. I wake up all happy cuz i have plans all weekend and i wont be at home in my head thinking. Then i get to work and an hour later im thinking of her and missing her so damn bad that i get that deep pain in my chest.
Sometimes i wish she had cheated on me, treated me bad, kicked my dog or something like that. But she was a good person....always honest and truthful. She always tried to help me be a better person. She put up with my inexperience in relationships and countless times i stumbled and hurt her. I always tried hard to grow and learn. To be the best person I could....not just for me but for us. She always said that I tried harder than any one she knows. I always told her she was worth it....and she is.
We are working on taking it slow right now. Trying to build a great friendship. Giving each other space to grow. As individuals we are not whole. Its hard day in and day out to work on me as she is always there in the back of my head smiling that pretty smile and her beautiful hair falling down her shoulders. Her perfume on my pillow puts me to sleep at night with dreams of her. If you guys couldn't tell....i am in love with this woman completely. 7 years living together.
I have to be strong...for us but more importantly for me.
I think you need to not see her for a while. My ex is driving past my house more often an dshe even has the nerve to wave to me. But that's how she has control of me. She knows when she drives buy I will keep thinking of her. And I do. So I suggest you stay away from her for a while and get healty. Buy you seeing and talking to her your not moving forward. And one day she will be with someone else and that may hurt alot. 8 months is a awlful long time to still be hurting. I hope when I reach my 8 month mark I'm dating someone else.
Sab.....i hear what you are saying. We do have distance in the relationship as she lives 500 miles up north from me. But we do still want to work this out with each other. We both want to get back together but need to rebuild ourselves. But you are right. It is much harder to work on me with her in my everyday life. I will have that opportunity to work on me soon as im going on a business trip to Japan for 3 months or so.
I just need to man up and stop worrying and focus on me. The good news is that it is easier lately. I have made plans for this friday through sunday and hanging with my friends helps alot.
Next week though on Thursday I am flying up to see her for 6 days. I know this may not seem like a good idea but with all the trips i go up...i keep it light and fun. Nothing serious or stressful. We always have a good time. We spend the time working on our friendship and laughing. It shows her that i am making progress and reminds her of the love she has for me. Every time i leave she holds me tight, kisses me, and tells me that she loves me very much. Then she tells me to be patient....work on yourself. Its hard but It gives me the strength i need to endure the distance and reminds me of what im fighting for.
I appreciate everyone listening to me. I thought it would be better to post here than to let it set in my head.....or worse talk to her.
Of course your emotions are all over the place. You're still seeing her...I made the mistake of visiting my ex after it was over, but if your ex was nice to u and didnt treat you like crap then it would be nice to be friends but try to move on. Give every girl a chance. If she let you go, then she may come back if you move on. If she hasn't come back yet, then don't fool urself. Please move on.
Of course your emotions are all over the place. You're still seeing her...I made the mistake of visiting my ex after it was over, but if your ex was nice to u and didnt treat you like crap then it would be nice to be friends but try to move on. Give every girl a chance. If she let you go, then she may come back if you move on. If she hasn't come back yet, then don't fool urself. Please move on.
I understand what you are saying....
I think my emotions are all over the place because I loose sight of what i should be doing. I should be working on me and not let my emotions rule me.
EMO she isn't giving up on us and she hasn't moved on. So why should I? Yes it is hard and it sucks but what in life worthwhile is easy?
We both have hope and love. If there is a way...we will find it.
I totally agree with you...I understand there is hope so do pursue it. As of now it sounds good. You are taking it slow and it seems all good. I'm just afraid that she may move on before you do and then you will be crushed. I'm just concerned. This can bring really bad feelings later on. I'm just saying that if you meet a nice girl, just be friends with her. This way in case ur ex never returns, you will have your friend to go to. Never let your ex know about the girl, it's not like u are cheating anyway. But if you end up loving a new girl who gives you sex all the time, strips for you, makes you happy and wants you all the time, then go for her...Then you will move on without knowing. I say go get some friends that are girls. they are smart and will help you make the right choice. Just don't let your ex know. I'm sure she has guy friends too.
Remember, you are single right now...You can do what you want. I know you want her, but you must prepare for the worst. And that means acting like you are single most of the time, because you really are. Good Luck!
One day she may move on and you will be left behind crying she did. You could be healing yourself NOW, because if she moves on without you it will take you that much longer to get over her. I would move on and IF?????? she wants you back you will be healthy as a person and if she doesn't want you back well, you will be healthy to move on.
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