Are you girls really serious?

Swordfish206 · #1 Aug 29, 2007, 09:52 AM

Is she serious?

My ex and i broke up about 2 months ago. but i insisted on not giving up so i kept talking to her and we agreed to keep things at a friends level at least since thats the way we started off in the first place. she agreed. we continued talking and eventually hanging out again but she felt different. we still said i love you but she didnt call me baby, or my luv, or any of the little names she normally would. in time she did. but the affection wasnt there like usual. i would be the one to initiate a kiss or a hug or even sex. she did ONCE! i felt like i was giving it my 100% and she was at 90%. last week we had an argument that got pretty heated and she got upset and decided we should not continue anymore. i tried again to talk sense into her but got nowhere. she said she was tired of guy drama and just wants to be alone. i told her that running does not fix problems, but she wasnt hearing it. she said she was confused and "not ready for all this" and just wants to be alone for now. NOw here is the thing, she has liked me since we were kids. what we had was completely different (in a good way) than any relationship we'd ever had. never really fought, always had a great time. we talked about our future and kids and stuff like that. both of our families completely love and approve our relationship. we have a connection and love with each other like we have never had with ANYONE ELSE EVER! While we were broken up she told me that she had seen a lot of changes in me for the good and hoped i would not go back to the old me when we got back together. that she realized how much she really loves me and wants to be with me and apologized for the hard time she had given me the last month and does not want to fight anymore but just be happy. so things were GREAT till last weeks fight. then she decided to give up for some reason and say she just wants to be alone and not deal with any guy drama.

My question for you ladies (or guys) is, can she really go from a love for me so great that she would give me her virginity and talking bout future and kids and good times and kissing and hugging and ALL those childhood feelings to saying i just want to be alone? Is she just making that decision cuz she is upset right now and does not like to deal with problems or is she really trying to move on? her my space is now at single, removed me from top friends, erased our pix, and her headline says "it is the beginning of a new chapter in my life". is she just doing that cuz she know id look at it? is all this just out of anger? ANYONE out there that has gone through a similar situation? please let me know......by the way she turned 20 in May.

Kevin_s · Aug 29, 2007, 10:26 AM

I know how you feel, the thing is...you gotta give her space man. I know you're all jumbled up inside, but my gf and I are both 19, and burning the candle from both ends with school and work is hard enough as is. You want her to know you care about her without being the main presence in her life. (good advice from someone posting on my thread) she's 19 and doesn't know what she wants in life, and why should she? Talking about kids and the future is cool and all...but it's a scary thing. Don't speak about the future or wanting to get married.

Give her space, let her miss you, and cut contact for a while. Do whatever you gotta do to better yourself in the meantime, the more she sees you as being successful, the more attractive you're going to be and the happier she will be if she is with you. If she doesn't come back, then it wasn't meant to be and you will feel better off later...trust me.

Go out and date if you want to, just don't mope around feeling sorry for yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. Someone else told me that a relationship is like a rowboat, what happens when only one person row's? You spin around in circles and get tired and frustrated. When both people row, you go smoothly to where you want to be. You gotta figure out who's rowing.

Don't worry about this myspace crap either. It's taken WAY too seriously. So what if you're not in her top friends? So what if she writes single...technically you are right now, change your page to single, add your closest friends to the top (I actually hid my list...I hate how people get all pissy about not being there...so no one is a top friend lol)

You're both young, go have fun. In the end everything will turn out great, if she is still contacting you, ignore her a bit. If she shoots you a txt or something, wait like a half hour and just say hey or something and that you have some business to attend to. Don't say I love you, and don't say you miss her...as much as you want to.

She asked for space, so give her it.

Also, don't feel like it's your fault...you have no reason to go to her and try to reason with her. You did your work in the relationship and friendship and have nothing to prove to her. Let the relationship do it's work.

Hope it helps,

Kevin

Trouble321 · Aug 29, 2007, 11:52 AM

Many girls.....guys too, but people in general after high school tend to drop the person they have dated because they need to explore what else is out there. She may come back or she may not but from the history it sounds like you have, she will always be a part of your life. I would respect her wishes and let her do her thing. I remember when I was 19 (I'm 28 now) I was dating this guy for a year and then started college and meeting new people and we went from a monogamous relationship to a casual one because I did not want to miss out on whatever else is out there.
Although its hard, try not to look at her myspace, take her off your top friends so you cannot see when she is online and be tempted to look at her profile. Don't erase her from your life, but be there as much as she wants you to be. Don't sit around and wait for her either though. Go see what else is there for you too. There is a very big world out there.

AandZ4ever · Sep 2, 2007, 07:38 PM

Holy cow... i am only 15 but here i go. hear me out i understand her feelings. i am still in love with one of my friends ex's for 4 and a half years now. but i would never kiss him even if he tried. see i think running away for some people means a clean slate i honestly think that u two having "intercourse" before marriage is a big mistake. nobody should. but i think she might be serious. if shes playing a game then o well

s_cianci · Sep 3, 2007, 07:11 AM

I hate to break it to you, but it sounds like there's another guy involved. Either way, when a girl starts to pull away, you need to respond in kind. Start doing things with other people and building a life without her. In time she may miss you and begin chasing you or she may not. Either way, you've got to look after yourself first and do what's right for you.

mamichulita50 · Nov 26, 2007, 03:34 PM

I Have Done The Same Thing So Heres Some Advice Shes Tired Of Just Being With One Guy And Wants To Experience Sumone Else Or She Is Confused And Doesnt Kno What She Wants. She Also Could Be Seeing Someone Else Or Shes Just Frustrated Give Her Some Time



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